Why I Love a Fake Wedding Band

Above... The fake wedding bands I carry in my emergency kit. 

I lost my wedding band. Seriously, I can’t find it anywhere. And I have to say that my hus has been pretty cool about it and hasn’t started to freak out (yet) because I tend to leave my “valuables” around the house. But, I was heading out for dinner and drinks with the girls, and felt weird leaving rockin’ only my engagement ring. Soooo… I dug into my emergency bag (you know, THE emergency bag? The one I use on your wedding day bridey…) pulled out a fake wedding band, and wore it with my engagement ring. And you know what? It’s shocking how real it looked next to my diamond. But, that’s not the point… The point is as I was gazing down at my fake wedding band bling, I remembered the story of Tim and Jessica, and the reason why I started packing fake wedding bands in the first place.

Let me set the scene… The entire bridal party was to walk down the aisle from the first floor. I was upstairs on the balcony with the bride preparing her to walk down the beautiful spiral staircase for a surprisingly grand entrance, before she embarked upon her journey down the aisle. Just when I thought the coast was clear, her maid of honor (MOH) came crashing through the doors, and said that she needed to speak with the bride. Uh-oh… A million thoughts raced through my head (totally thought the groom skipped out). I turned to the MOH and asked her what this all about…

The MOH said, “Jessica…. (LONG PAUSE… Oh fuck!), Tim forgot the wedding rings.”

Phew! Seriously, that’s it? I had started breaking out into a cold sweat and we’re just talking about the wedding bands?

“That stupid fucking idiot!” screamed my bride from the balcony above the guests.

I quickly swooped in, asked the MOH to take her spot downstairs, grabbed the bride by her shoulders and told her to calm the fuck down. I reminded her that her guests could hear us upstairs, and that we needed to take a moment to breathe. So she took a few deep breaths, and seemed to relax a bit after a few more pleasantries seeped out of her mouth.

I slipped off my own wedding band, handed it to her, and said, “Jessica, think of it this way… Now you have something to hold over his head for the rest of your lives together.”

She looked at me, agreed and chuckled and headed down the staircase…

Sometimes you just have to go with it. Right bridey?

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