Wait Your Fucking Turn

“I just don’t like waiting for things…” said the prospective bride. PAUSE. Pause on my end… she kept talking about all of the things she wanted for her “princess wedding”, and I am sitting here staring at the phone wondering if I should just hang up now to avoid the bullshit later. While she went on and on about the pale pink linen, beaded overlays and candelabras she was envisioning, I took out my crystal ball (the one I keep under my desk with a flask and some emergency cigarettes) and a self-important bitch pointing her finger at some stupid wedding planner who was quite literally running around like a maniac trying to make sure her day was perfect. And wouldn’t you know? When the image came into focus, I was that stupid wedding planner. “Are you there?” Oh shit! I was so wrapped up in my future beat down that I hadn’t contributed to the conversation! I said, “of course, I was just taking notes.”

Seriously, the brides that “just don’t like waiting for things” scare me because no matter how much effort I put into managing their expectations, they want it all right now. I mean, whatever happened to the Heinz tag line, “good things come to those who wait”? Seriously, as much as slow ketchup really annoys me when all I want to do is eat my fucking fries, that line has always stuck with me (and so does seeing Matt Le Blanc in this youtube video!). Not only was it was great advertising, it was a great lesson for all you entitled, newly engaged brides. I’ve said it before, and I will say it again… Ready? YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE GETTING MARRIED. And more often than not, the reason you have to wait is because other brides, who are getting married like this weekend, need your vendor’s attention. Be prepared, because odds are you won’t hear back from them until Tuesday, and that’s the norm ladies... Fucking deal with it.

So, if you “don’t like waiting for things”, too bad. There will be times during your wedding planning that you will have to wait because while your wedding is the first thing on your mind, it’s most definitely not the first thing on everybody else’s. I know it’s shocking, but remember, “good things come to those who wait”. So wait your fucking turn.

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