It’s fucking 9 AM. Why is this day different from all other days? On all other days we go about our business, but today it’s 9 AM on your wedding day (for those of you who caught onto my “spiel” good for you!). You wake up, announce to your bridesmaids sharing your honeymoon suite, “Oh my God! It’s my wedding day! Let’s go check out the space!” STOP. Stop right there. If you are a bride getting married at a hotel or venue that has graciously offered you overnight accommodations on-site, or you your wedding is tented in your beautiful backyard, do everybody a favor… Please, don’t go look at the space at 9 in the morning because you will be undoubtedly disappointed, and extremely and unnecessarily nervous.

You know WHY? Well, if it’s 9 o’clock the morning of your wedding, and you're one of the rich, lucky ones with a huge house and a tent in your backyard, then the tent is either a) still being built, b) built, but empty, c) built with people on ladders hanging shit or d) built, people hanging shit… looks totally disheveled and unorganized… 

OR

If your wedding is taking place at a hotel/wedding venue, and it’s 9 o’clock in the morning, then it’s either a) not set-up, b) set-up, but from the party that took place the night before, c) set-up from the party that took place the night before and TRASHED or d) set-up for your wedding, but dirty, chair-less, linen-less, flower-less, and just plain ugly.

So why put yourself in the position to worry about the set-up for your wedding? That’s not YOUR job. Seriously, you have to remember that the people in charge of building the tent or setting up the venue space KNOW WHAT THEY’RE DOING! And because you are like of volcano of emotions on the edge of an eruption, seeing the space look unorganized and trashed might be the last straw… So, don’t look. Don’t do it. Don’t voluntarily put yourself in a position that will cause heart palpitations.

I mean… even Lisa Vanderpump got all nervous the day of Pandora’s wedding. And Lisa V is a classy, calm, cool and collected gal who owns and runs restaurants and knows the drill. But, there she was… her innate strength melting down to a puddle in the tent as she worried about the heat, set-up, etc. And as I was watched Kevin Lee’s poor assistant talking her off the ledge, I felt sorry for her. Because as planners, catering managers, banquet managers, etc., we’ve all been there… And while us “industry” folk know it’ll get done, a bride (or MOB in this case) can’t possibly get why we are NOT worried, and predictably proceeds to freak out.

So… Stop it. Don’t look. It’ll get done. Okay? Turn around, walk back to your suite, go get your hair and make-up did, and leave us the fuck alone until show time. Got it?

Love Stinks... Yeah Yeah

Wait Your Fucking Turn