XXX - You've Been Exposed

I am going fucking crazy. Seriously, you'll probably think I am straight coo coo after this post, but I gotta do it... I have to expose the truth. I’m writing about this topic because I am so frustrated that nobody talks about what REALLY goes on behind the scenes of your wedding. And by “your wedding”, I’m talking about those chicks (and couples) who thrive on drama to point that it's questionable whether or not they are going to make it down the aisle 12 seconds before the fucking ceremony. So if I am getting naked, then so are you. I am exposing you, bridey, and your groom too.

We all know these people. They are the couples that have broken up a hundred times, gotten back together a hundred times, and when you received the invitation in the mail, your first thought was most likely, "Really? I never thought they'd actually go through with it." Yeah, those fuckers. And oddly enough, it's usually those fuckers who have the dough to hire somebody like me, a wedding planner, to torture with their wedding plans... Extravagant wedding plans. Like wedding Kardashian style wedding plans... So don't fuck it up with your drama.

A colleague of mine said it best when she said that "we are putting on the show that is your wedding". Great line, right? Because no matter how you look at it, your wedding IS a production (especially those of you with an unlimited budget). Seriously, it might as well be our production of the "Wicked" wedding and frankly we don't have time to talk you off the fucking ledge because your groom is a teeny tiny hung over, and you're SO upset that you tell him that you are not going to marry him. REALLY? Because all I gotta say is that no matter what happens today, SOMEBODY is walking down that fucking aisle, and hopefully it'll be you. You understand what I am saying to you? 

Brideys, if this sounds like you and the sort of relationship you have with your fiancé, then leave this shit at home, because I'm busy putting on your wedding, not playing therapist. Got it?