Bridey, it's really very simple. Talk to your fiancé. Discuss the wedding you want. Discuss the wedding he wants. Discuss the wedding that you both want. Because, I'm hoping to avoid being in the position I was in the other day. Yeah, that fucking awkward, cover your ass position I found myself in during my meeting with your man. Here's how it all went down...
Last week, I was hired by the loveliest bride (and her mother, of course). After some intense conversation about their hopes and dreams for the wedding, we sealed the deal with some champagne and they signed my contract. I must admit, I was really excited about this one. This bride is super down to earth (totally not a bridey bitch at all!), and her mom is just the cutest mom ever; truly and honestly present to support her daughter.
Anyway... We discussed the usual... You know, the color palette for the wedding, a wedding theme, etc. We discussed how important the right venue, great food and great entertainment was to both of them. We talked about how important it was to sit at the table with great people, but not feel trapped there. Blah, blah blah... Basically, all of the shit that I usually talk about with the bride and groom, not the bride and her mother!
Fast forward to my appointment with the groom (who wanted to meet me after the bride and her mom bragged about how wonderful I was... Go me!). So, as we were chatting about his view of the wedding, it turned out that this dude had a completely different idea for the evening. Like, so completely different that I casually checked my calendar (on my phone) to make sure I wasn't meeting with the wrong appointment, or that I hadn't lost my marbles altogether. When I realized that I was in fact in the right place with the right person, I was left in the awkward position of protecting my bride (and her ideas), and at the same time telling him that I thought his ideas were lovely too.
This wasn't just "you say tomato, I say tomahto", crap. It was, she wanted a city wedding, and he wanted to be in a barn somewhere with a "backyard" feeling. Oh, and the food? He'd just have one of his friends "throw together a cool spread". WHAT the fuck? So, there I was, casually nodding my head at his ideas (which I do think were kinda cool, but clearly different than his fiancé), and suggesting a few "alternatives", ahem... her ideas.
While we were wrapping up our meeting, I told him that I thought we should all meet for a drink to make sure that the three of us were on the same page. He looked at me a bit sideways for a second, but then I think he had a light bulb moment as he realized why I thought a meeting with the three of us was important..
Yeah... awesome. Brideys, if you are meeting with a wedding planner, wedding venue, photographer, etc. with anybody else besides your future husband, please be sure that you are talking about what you both want. As in what you and your fiancé want. Consider it your first act as an almost married woman. Got it?
BTW... I'll keep you posted on how it all turns out.