You know those moments when your with a friend or your fiancé and they're doing something so incredibly embarrassing that you wish you could casually slip under the table and disappear? Or better yet, rewind and totally eliminate yourself from the situation in the first place? Well, now imagine that horror in a professional setting. Much worse, right? Yeah... Brutal.
So... recently, I worked with a bride who, oddly enough I actually liked, but seemed to make it her mission in life to say or do something so insanely out of line during every single one of our appointments that I almost had to fire her. Because no amount of pre-appointment "coaching" seemed to help. Her verbal vomit would just keep spewing and spewing. There were several times that I wanted to slit my fucking wrists. I mean... It was so bad that following most appointments, I felt the need to call my vendors and apologize for my bride's behavior. What kind of shit was she saying... In public? To real people?
Here we go... BTW, keep in mind that this chick can afford the finer things in life:
1. To the florist: "Why should I choose you and pay your hefty prices when the grocery store in my neighborhood does such a nice job?" Oh my god!! Right?? Thankfully this florist is somebody who I've developed a lovely relationship with, but I also bring her a lot of business too, so she handled it well, and explained why her company was better than the grocery store.
2. To the band leader: "Just, please don't suck and live up to the whole 'I sing in a wedding band stigma.'" Holy fuck! I died. Seriously, I thought the dude was going to reach out and slap the bitch!! He handled it well, but lets just say I heard about it later. Talk about an education!! After the appointment, I HAD to basically reprimand her. I had to tell her that while she can think these things in her head, it's horribly rude to say them aloud.
3. To my favorite and very well known photographer: "Your pictures are great, but I still don't understand what the big deal is. You're just taking pictures." Thankfully, I had pre-warned my photog friend to expect a few insults, but it was still quite jaw dropping.
4. I almost forgot the best one! At the food tasting: "Did you put this in the microwave? It's really runny." IT WAS A MOLTEN CHOCOLATE CAKE!!!! Yup! She said it to the fucking chef who came out to introduce himself. Again, this chick has money, people, we weren't at some shitty venue where using a microwave may be commonplace. I said nothing. I just felt my checks get super flushed, and finished my wine in one gulp.
You know what's scary? There are more several more examples that I can't remember. I know! It's crazy, right? I really should have written them all down if for nothing else, a good laugh!
Bridey, if this sounds like you at all, then please just be aware of it as you go into meetings with your vendors. I know your mom told you to think before you speak, and now is no exception! Got it?
Photo Cred via The Word Nerds