The other day, a friend of mine asked me who my dream bride would be. Huh? Of course, I immediately asked if she was serious or if she was fucking with me. She assured me that she was dead serious, and then said, "if you could design your dream bride, what would "she" be like?" Oooooooo.... This was getting interesting! Right? If nothing else, it certainly got me thinking... What DOES my dream bride look like? And, with Christmas just a few days away, and millions impending proposals and engagements on the horizon, the timing of her question seemed appropriate. Just think... If even just 90% of you, brideys, read this post right after your engagement, then my job is done! So, here it goes... Bitchless Bride's Dream Bride:
1. My dream bride would remember who she was before she got engaged! Kinda the whole point of my blog, right? Just because you're engaged, doesn't give you the right to be a bitch. Remember, what you put out there is what you'll get back. So, bridey, if you're nice to people (vendors, bridesmaids, etc.), then they will be nice to you. They will do nice things for you. They will go out of their way for you. However, if you are a total bitch, then you'll get the bare minimum from those around you. Seriously, why would your bridesmaids go out of their way for you if they are beginning to hate you? Same goes for your vendors. If you treat them like shit, why should they go above and beyond? Right? Consider this a fact.
2. My dream bride would remember WHY she wanted to get married in the first place... Um, the dude or the chick your want to spend the rest of your life with... Your sig other! PERSPECTIVE!! See the girl in the picture? She's happy! And, you should be too! You're marrying the love of your life!! (And if you're not, then that's a whole other blog post!)
Bridey, I eloped, and I know that eloping isn't for everybody, but all I could think of at the time was that I loved my hus, and we had a shitload of family dynamics that could have presented themselves at the worst possible time. But, no matter what? I wanted to be with the dude. So, even if we had stuck to the plan and had a big wedding, all I wanted was him...
3. My dream bride would treat people with respect (friends, family, vendors). Piggybacking off of number one... Don't be a bitch. Treat people with respect. It's so simple and basic (human decency), and yet oftentimes it gets lost when the wedding planning gets stressful or emotions become extreme. Just remember to breathe, bridey, and be nice. It will be well worth it!
4. My dream bride would trust me (and all of the other professionals she hired) unequivocally. She would trust that if we are working together, that I know what I am doing, and let me do it. Don't get in my way. Don't think that because your maid of honor (MOH) got married a month ago that we should listen to her (or whothefuckever). Just let me take your dream, and run with it (with established boundaries, of course)!
5. My dream bride would skip the micromanaging bullshit. Again, you have to trust me, and let me present you with the applicable details. Bridey, your vendors are not going to share the nitty gritty with you, and honestly, you don't want to know all of the behind the scenes shit that you are missing. Just back off, and let us show you the finished product. Because when you micromanage, you are subjected to too many details, and that's when it becomes too much for your pretty little head to bear.
6. My dream bride would communicate with me. Don't like something? No problem. Just tell me. We will switch directions. You're ecstatic about the direction we're heading in? Great!! Tell me. But, remember, I am not in your head, bridey, and just like your fiancé, I don't know if something is wrong unless you tell me. So, communicate with me. That's all I ask. Communication is key in every relationship and does not exclude ours.
7. My dream bride would recognize that people don't "owe" her shit just because she's getting married. This one kinda kills me. I know it can be a tough realization, but you're not the only one getting married, bridey, and you're not the only bride spending piles of money at your venue, with your photographer, DJ, band, florist, etc.! I mean, c'mon... For the trillionth time... You wouldn't walk into your favorite clothing store and ask why the fucking belt isn't included with the dress would you? No... So, please follow that same logic. Just because you're spending a lot of money with your vendors, doesn't mean that they owe you a thing! And again, bridey, if you're nice, you probably will get a few freebies, but those are appreciated, not expected, bridey...
8. My dream bride would be considerate of her bridesmaids, parents and friends (unless she is pushed to become inconsiderate). You're getting married. You're having a ton of parties to celebrate. You're the "lucky one". So, be considerate of those celebrating with you. Unless you're pushed to the brink of insanity, keep your cool. Don't lose friends and family over your wedding.
9. My dream bride would respect the rules of the game. Your wedding isn't for a year and a half? Then wait your turn. Don't harass your DJ with tons of questions and expect them to get back to you within 24 hours if your wedding isn't until 2016! They are prioritizing their business, and where you fit in. So, please, cut us industry peeps some slack and remember that right now, you're at the back of the line!
10. My dream bride would be BITCHLESS! She would absorb the content on my site, and actually learn from it! She'd be nice, have perspective and marry the love of her life!
Image via Elizabeth Anne Designs