Bridey, you’ve GOT to stop trying to please everybody! If you are an avid Bitchless Bride reader, then I’m hoping you are well on your way to sane, non-bitchy, non-entitled, wedding planning so please take this to heart, bridey. It’s YOUR wedding and the more you try to “look out” for your guests and/or over accommodate their needs, then your wedding becomes less and less about you and your sig other, and more about becoming an order taker. Seriously, you're one step away from asking, "Do you want fries with that?"
And because being an order taker can be frustrating and exhausting here are five ways to STOP accommodating your guests without being a bitch. I know, how could you??
1. I know it’s crazy, but it can even start with your wedding date. Right? There will always be somebody (you love) who can’t make it to your wedding because of whatever reason so set the precedence and choose the date that works for you! If you listened to everybody and took into account their schedules and their plans, then you’re left with nothing. Okay, maybe not nothing, but definitely not the most ideal wedding date. Getting married on a Tuesday in the fall doesn’t have the same ring to it as a Saturday in the fall now does it?
2. Don’t put it out there. Don’t over promise. Don’t offer your guests too many choices. Tell them. This is what you are eating. These are your hotel accommodation options. This is the attire. And you know what? If they don’t like it, too fucking bad. They are adults, and therefore they can stay wherever they want and eat dinner before the wedding if they don’t like beef or fish (or if they are gluten free, celiac, can’t eat nuts, shellfish, dairy, sugar, cilantro, YOU NAME IT). See what I mean? You provided your guests some choices, and then it is up to them. I mean, there have been several occasions in which my hus and I decided to stay outside of the wedding block offered because we made a choice to do so.
3. Just say “no”. C’mon, you say it to your sig other all the time! But, seriously, get in the habit of just saying “no” to particular guest requests if that’s not what you want. For instance, if a guest calls you and asks to bring her new boyfriend to the wedding… Just say “no”! If a guest calls you and asks if her three kids can come… Just say “no”! If a guest calls you and wants a certain flavor of booze on the bar (this did happen to one of my brides)… Just say “no”!!! It’s that easy, but practice makes perfect.
4. Don’t have the strength? Then one word… liaison. Make somebody else deal with the bullshit. Preferably somebody with balls; somebody who doesn’t care if a guest is unhappy. Well, maybe unhappy is too strong of a word, but your liaison should be somebody who isn’t afraid to speak up or politely put a guest in their place.
5. Lastly, don’t give in… Don’t give in to the pressure of all of the people around you telling you how they things, or what they would eat, etc. Be polite, but be firm. Simply say, “Thank you, I will definitely consider that…”
Bridey, part of the reason why I am convinced that you can sometimes turn into a bitchy bride is because you are to eager to please everybody else, when you should be pleasing yourself. This is your wedding, your money and your sanity. Don’t risk it because you’re so busy taking orders from the peanut gallery! GOT IT?!
Image via Essential Hospitality