As I was laying in bed last night, my cat, Olivia, was all over me. She was headbutting my face, pawing my shoulder when I wasn't responding quickly enough for her advancements and then completely ignoring me when I was ready to give her my full attention. And then it dawned on me... My cat is just like a few of my clients! Holy shit! These brideys represent some of the best and the worst behavior of my feline. While I'm not suggesting that these girls poop in a box, I am suggesting that every interaction they have is on their terms... Meaning that you, bridey, can be a bitch, just like my 'lil furry beast! Seriously, it was a midnight fucking epiphany! For instance:
1. Cats are selfish. Right? Pretty much every single thing they do is self-serving. Some of my clients? The EXACT same way! They're selfish. Really, it's incredible how self absorbed and rude a bride can be when she feels a tiny bit ignored or if she feels as though her needs are not being met. Perhaps it more of a self preservation mechanism, but whatever it is, it can be painful.
The fix? Remember that while your needs are important, bridey, the needs of those around you count too. So, just breathe, and know that people care about you and will take care of you. Just like a cat! No need to panic!
2. Cats need immediate attention... On their terms. I've had a client get angry that I did not return her a call within an hour of receiving a message. Once I explained that I was in a meeting with a client (who was tying the knot in 48 hours), she simmered down, but... REALLY?
The fix? Bridey, you are important to me, and I promise to take care of you. Remember this when I don't respond within 60 minutes.
3. Cats ignore you. It's funny, I am about to contradict myself based on what I said in #2, but there are times when I need prompt answers from you, bridey, and you are nowhere to be found. I'm not saying that it's been an hour and I can't find you, but when two days have gone by, and I need to get information to your vendors (yesterday), it kills me when you go MIA.
The fix? Just give me a "yes" or "no". Then I will leave you alone. I don't need a long drawn out convo, I just need an answer so that your wedding is FAB!
4. Cats turn their backs on you. Bridey, I know this is a self-defense thing... You're mad because I give my attention to others (I mean... it's what I am paid to do!), and sometimes you feel as though you need to punish me for not being my only client. I get it. I really do. It can be hard to know that I am with other brides. But, no need to turn your back on me and shut down. I can assure you that I have room in my heart and my world for all of you!
The fix? Bridey, talk to me. Tell me what's on your mind instead of shutting down. (Do this with your sig other too! Because if you do it to me, then I'm guessing you do the same to your sig other too...)
5. Cats are manic. One minute, I am rubbing her belly and she is licking my nose, and in a matter of seconds, this bitch claws the shit out of me and draws blood. WTF? Need I say more? Bridey, it's normal to have your ups and downs during wedding planning, but lashing out at those who are trying to help you? LAME.
The fix? Please, pull yourself together. Don't send me mixed messages. Don't tell me how happy you are to have me, planning the biggest day of your life, and then claw the shit out of me. Not cool. If you are having a momemt, keep it to yourself.
Bridey, I get asked (on a daily basis) why I continue to plan weddings when "brides can be so crazy", and all I can tell you is that if I still love my bitchy little kitty, then I can look past your bullshit, and love my bitchy little bridey too...
Image via Band of Cats