Bridey, the timing of this article is not an accident. With stupid Valentine's Day just around the corner (not to mention the millions of girls who were engaged over the holidays), several once well-behaved girlfriends will turn into entitled, bitchy brides-to-be. I'm not quite sure where the transition from nice, sweet girlfriend to crazy, bitch bride (aka: Bridaldemia) takes place, but there is a serious fucking breakdown somewhere, and it needs to stop. And, I, Bitchless Bride, am determined to put an end to using your newly achieved bridal status as an excuse for shit behavior.
But, here's the thing? Which came first, the bride or the bitch? Seriously, did these new brides start off as bitches or were they given an excuse; a free pass to be a bitch simply for being a bride? Are the newly engaged (girls) just owning up to the expected behavior that society has justified? I was thinking about this the other day when I was engaged (forgive the pun) in a super awkward conversation with a woman who knows I don't like her. Of course, my mind immediately went to, "Damn, I bet she was a real beast while planning her wedding," but, then I immediately decided that she wasn't salvageable. I'm positive that she was a bitch from the get-go. And, some of you brides start off as bitches, but I find it hard to believe that all of you do!
Let's talk more about this "expected behavior". I believe that it all starts innocently enough. Bridey, you're engaged! YAY! It's super exciting, and the beginning of a new stage in your life. But, with that stage comes uncertainty, and with uncertainty comes fear and stress. And, when the fear and stress kick in, the little girl inside of us begins to rage. And, that is when the bitch is cut loose. However, instead of putting a leash on that crazy bitch, she's celebrated. Right? I mean, there are fucking television shows which follow this crazy bitch around, just to see how rude she'll be to the next person in her path, and that makes it okay somehow. So, why cage the animal? Right? It's okay... She's a bride... Well, you know what? Fuck that!
It reminds me of how I was when I was pregnant. I wasn't a bitch, but I was eating for 25. I swear, I was on the cupcake and mac-n-cheese diet (and it was awesome). I mean, wasn't that expected of me? I was creating a human being for Gods sake, and needed the endurance to make him strong, right? Wrong. In reality, all I really needed was an extra 300 calories a day (like a glass of whole milk), not a whole fucking cow! But, I was pregnant, and every time I turned around somebody was excusing my behavior. Similar to how we excuse the heinous behavior so many brides. But, my cupcake addiction was a hurdle that I had to overcome once I had the baby; I wasn't hurting anybody else except myself. But, as a bride behaving badly? You're actually hurting people.
I know it sounds dramatic, but it's true. Bridey, you have no idea how your behavior can change the course of somebody else's day, week, year or even life. I started Bitchless Bride because of how one bride made me feel. ONE BRIDE. That bitch made me question everything I had ever known professionally, and I worked with her for 16 months. SIXTEEN FUCKING MONTHS. And, based on the conversations I have had with other professionals in the wedding industry, I'm not alone. We have all had at least one bride who made us doubt how good we really are.
So, bridey... Which bride are you going to be? Are you going to see what you can get away with because it's expected of you, or are you going to harness the bitch, and be kind? Surprisingly, it's your choice.
Image via Wedding Bee