It’s pretty sad when your iWatch reminds you to breathe. Right? Seriously, at first I thought it was because I truly wasn’t breathing (I mean, obviously I was breathing, but maybe I was holding my breath), and that it was a personal reminder to catch some air, but then I realized that I had completed the most recent update for my watch, and this was a new feature… BREATHING, breathing was a new feature! What a fucking concept. But, you know what? I listened. And, it worked. I felt better after I took a moment to breathe in and let it all out. I hadn't realized it, but I was holding my breath. It was a tough day and I was wearing it like a badge of dishonor. My shoulders were up to my chin, my hands were clenched at my sides and breathing seriously felt like a chore. But then, an updated iWatch essentially reminded me to slow my roll. Something I tell my brides all the time. Breathe. Take it slow. Break it down into small, manageable pieces. Stop feeling like you have to conquer your to-do list all at once. Just breathe, bridey.
But, here’s the thing. Breathing is hard sometimes. Taking a step back and remembering to breathe in and let it all go is difficult when you feel overwhelmed in a world you to fully understand, and are left to navigate on your own. So, please allow me (not your damn watch) to remind you to breathe, and teach you a few things you can do to make your wedding planning feel and actually be more manageable.
1. Remember that shit will go wrong. It always does. Bridey, no matter how well you planned out every.single.detail for the big day, and no matter how well you organized the hell out of your spreadsheets, something inevitably goes wrong on the day of your wedding. So, take the surprise out of it, and embrace it. Breathe. Own it ahead of time. Own the fact that sometimes, even with the best laid plans, things get a little messed up. Just let it go. If you resign yourself to the fact that you did the best you can, and that literally, at the end of the day, you will be married, then fuck it. Don’t worry about what you can’t control. And, breathe.
2. The biggest problem many brides face is the wedding budget. Yup! The fucking budget is oftentimes the tip of the iceberg which leads to fights, insane stress and pure anxiety. So, how can you fix that? PLAN. I don’t care if you’re the worst planner/slacker in the whole wide world. Plan to go over your budget, bridey. And then budget the “over budget” into your budget. Sounds crazy, right? But, the reality is that something like one third of brides go over their wedding budget. ONE THIRD! The problem? They are not setting realistic expectations from the get-go. Be it with how much gets spent at the venue or on flowers or photography, etc.… Soooooo… Don’t just stick to your budget, stick to reality! Once you determine your budget, add 20% to the total. Now, take a deep breath, and let it go!
3. For the love of God, hire a “day of” wedding coordinator. I really don’t know I can be more clear. In reality, it’s more like “month of”, but whatever you do, hire somebody to take care of you and the details on the day of your wedding so that you can relax. Pass the baton, and enjoy the day. PERIOD. Oh, and breathe.
4. Perspective. There’s my favorite word again! PER SPECT IVE! Bridey, not to be fucking morbid, but the next time everybody you love in the world will be under the same roof is going to be at your funeral. Right? So, when you’re feeling especially stressed and overwhelmed, remember that. And, get excited! Everybody you love is coming to celebrate with you, and I can assure that you they won’t care if the details aren’t perfect. Because they care about you and your sig other. So, breathe. Let it go, and be present, not stressed for the people you love!
5. Take care of yourself and your relationship. Oddly enough, couples fight a lot during wedding planning because that’s all they end up talking about. So, just don’t. Remember to date during your wedding planning, and have fun together. You don’t have to be planning all of the time. Go out! Enjoy each other! And, breathe!
Bridey, I really hope this helps you break it all down… I know that it’s not always realistic not to be stressed when you’re spending a shitload of money and time planning one day, but if you just breathe, and remember that you CAN do this, your inner rockstar will shine through. Got it?
Image via EmbracingHealthBlog