Does anybody else think it’s ironic that nobody wants to come to your wedding, while concurrently, you’re secretly hoping they don’t? Really think about that. I mean, I know you want certain people to come to your wedding and certain people actually do want to come to your wedding, but what about the majority? Oftentimes, you don’t want them and they don’t want you. Strangely enough, sometimes, it’s for very similar reasons. You want to save money, and they don’t want to spend it. You don’t want to be surrounded with people you don’t care about on your wedding day, and they don’t want to be there out of obligation. To them, your wedding is a hassle; an interruption to an otherwise lovely weekend. So where’s the happy medium? And, what about the other reasons people don’t want to come to your wedding? Is it always about the money? No, it’s not, and some of the reasons will surprise you…
Bridey, last month I wrote a post titled, Please Don’t Come to My Wedding… How Cutting the Guest List Can Mean Cutting the Cord. That article was more about you, bridey, relieving yourself of toxic relationships simply by cutting certain people from your guest list, your budget and ultimately from your life, but how about some insight as to why people don’t want to come to your wedding (that has nothing to do with money). What other reasons could there possible be? Several actually… And, you better sit down because the truth hurts.
1. Perhaps they don’t like you as much as you like them. Whoops! Maybe I shouldn’t have started with such a doozy. But, please don’t kill the messenger, because it’s true. Just a stab in the dark, but this could be their way of cutting the cord with you in the same way not inviting somebody to your wedding is your way of cutting the cord with them. It goes both ways, it’s just hard to be on the receiving end.
2. Maybe they don’t like your who you’re going to marry, and don’t think you’ll be a together in the long run. Why go to a wedding to celebrate a couple who, in their opinion, has no chance of making it? And, if this IS the case, then I’m guessing that on some level, you, bridey, already knew this and therefore the RSVP shouldn’t come as a surprise.
3. Did you go to their wedding? No? Well, what goes around comes around. Sure, it’s childish, but they’re getting even with you. Even if you had a valid reason, they’re obviously still pissed off, and consider not going to your wedding as retaliation. This person isn’t married? Are they engaged? Because if they are, perhaps you’re not on their guest list, so it’s only fair if they don’t go to your wedding.
4. It’s possible that their RSVP has nothing to do with you, bridey. Maybe they’re just in a shitty place personally, and the idea of being around happy people, happily celebrating and just being happy is the last thing they want. I mean, we’ve all been there and it sucks, and feeling depressed in a big crowd of people makes it worse.
5. Two words: Vacation Time. Or lack thereof… Using those precious and limited vacation days for your wedding isn’t exactly the vacation they had in mind. Because your day can’t compete with a week in sunny and fabulous destinations like Barbados, St. Thomas, Cabo…
Bridey, we’ll never really know why people do the crazy shit they do or what makes them tick. And, sadly, this list could have been ten deep, but the five listed above are the most “popular”. However, I’ve been doing this long enough to tell you that if they don’t want to come to your wedding, then you’re 100% better off without them there. So, please, try not to dwell on the people that aren’t coming, and focus on the people that are coming to your wedding! Got it?