***This post is a slight departure from my norm... It's about me, bridey, and how I got dumped. Enjoy the glimpse into my last month or so...***
I got dumped. Let go. Discarded. Cut loose. Walked out on. Abandoned. Left high and dry. You get the point… But, no matter how many different ways I write it, it still feels the same. Shitty. He said “I know you’re a hustler, and will continue to drum up new fans and interest…” but, obviously he didn’t want to be there to help me cultivate it. Apparently, he didn’t want to hustle in the same way that I had to. But, didn’t he get it? I never asked for this or wanted to be “a hustler”. I am just a wedding planner + blogger with some (pretty cool) ideas; possibly game changing ideas for an industry that is worth about fifty-seven billion dollars annually, and no experience getting them in front of television networks. So I started exploring, or “hustling”, and I started to make some fantastic headway with and without him. “Him” being my ex-agent. Yup, the dude who gave up on me. The dude who said that, “I’m obviously a big fan and wish you the best of luck on next steps,” but, (in a nutshell) take my name off everything that links back to me… Yeah, clearly a big fan.
OUCH. That hurt. That stung. Right? Nobody likes being dumped. Even if it’s not personal, just business, it still feels personal. And, instead of looking at the situation and seeing that perhaps we were never really a good fit (it was just my only fit), I started to question my drive and ability. Actually, I started to question everything. I mean, isn't that where go when we get dumped? We look internally instead of at the big picture? We doubt ourselves instead of looking for a different angle or perspective?
I did. I started asking myself, what the fuck I was doing… Who the fuck did I think I was to have ideas worthy of being heard by networks; networks who had the ability to help turn ideas into reality? But, then I decided that I have two options. Quit, because somebody gave up on me, or keep “hustling” because that’s who I am, and I truly believe my ideas can make a difference in an industry that is in desperate need of some change. So, after regressing (sitting on my front stoop and smoking a cigarette), I stopped wallowing in my own disappointment, and decided that I am going to continue to hustle the shit out of my FAB ideas, and keep on going. I was definitely going to smoke one more cigarette, but then I was going to throw the pack out, get up and GO!
But, how? How do you get up and go when every inch of you wants to quit? How do you recover from even wanting to quit? You know how? You just fucking do it. And, you know what? We’ve all done it before. Seriously… How can you ever succeed if you quit? You won’t even get the opportunity (yes, I said opportunity!) to fail if you throw in the towel before you see what you’re capable of! In all honestly, there have been several times I have wanted to quit when things felt uncomfortable or unobtainable (or I was working with a brutally painful bride), but I pushed through, and I somehow made it to the other side mostly unscathed, mostly untouched but definitely not unmarked. And, I am stronger for it. We all are, and in a way, we owe it being dumped or disappointed. I can’t shake the feeling like I am here (on earth) to do something fantastic; dare I say life-changing, and if I quit, well then shame on me.
So, after trashing “the dumping email”, I started over, and began hustling, again. I took a closer look at what I wanted, and started looking in the right places and for the right people, instead of settling for anybody who will have me. Because me and my big ideas? Well, they’re totally not worth settling for…
Image via Hello Nell