Why an Alternative Way of Communicating with Your Wedding Vendors Can Save Your Sanity

We live in a world where people expect to be responded to immediately, and if they're not taken care of immediately, then too often they become irate, irrational and, ignorant. Not ignorant in the traditional sense of the word, but ignorant to the situation. For instance, if you're trying to reach someone and you're not getting the desired response, but continue to communicate in the same way, maybe it's time to consider how you're communicating; maybe there's a glitch in the system. Maybe it's time to try adjust your method. Like... Try calling instead of sending a hostile email. I know it's archaic, but sometimes a phone call can clear the air immediately.

Obviously there's a story here... Allow me to explain. I'm working with a couple who are quite lovely, but extremely high strung. The budget seems to be bulging (because the guest list keeps expanding!) and the more it bulges, the more uptight groomy becomes. And the more uptight groomy becomes, the more upright bridey becomes. A recipe for disaster... And because I'm the "outsider" (non-family member, non-BFF, basically a nobody) more often than not, I'm usually on the receiving end of of this disastrous recipe. And it sucks. I'm starting to get pretty fucking irritated as I continuously catch shit for the imaginary fights people have within themselves.

Last week, he became irate. Why? Because he wasn't getting my follow up emails (I sent three, didn't hear back, something that happens quite a bit in my world because people are busy) not realizing that he wasn't receiving them, and therefore thinking everything was copacetic. And instead of calling me (or texting), to see what was going on, he sat on it, fuming. Like, you'd have thought I'd never ever responded to a single email. And, the strange thing is that I have always been super communicative with them, so you can imagine my surprise when I received a nasty, borderline hateful, email from him telling me how unprofessional I was. Wow. Unprofessional? Ouch! Know what I did, bridey? I picked up the phone and we had a conversation. Duh.

Within a minute, the situation was under control. Within a single minute I was able to diffuse his piss-poor behavior. And that poor asshole? Well, he sat there for days getting more and more pissed off instead of simply calling me to see what was up. And, it really was that simple. I mean, whatever happened to giving someone the benefit of the doubt (oh, and basic human decency!)? I had never given them (him) a reason to think that I was neglectful. I had always responded quickly and professionally, and suddenly, within a week I'm unprofessional? Fuck off.

Bridey (and Groomy), I hope the lesson is clear here. If you're not receiving the response you're accustomed to, and if your vendors haven't given you a reason to doubt their communicative ability, then consider alternative way to connect. Consider that perhaps there's a problem. Or just sit there like an asshole getting angry and irate. Your choice. Got it?

Image via Create the Bridge