When Quitting Your Wedding Feels Like the Only Option, and How to Persevere

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“You’ve come too far to quit.” she said. “Push yourself!” she screamed into the mic attached to her headpiece. I was in spin class and wanted to fucking die. My whole body was sore from boot camp the day before, and my legs felt like noodles. Plus, it didn’t help that we were doing all sorts of fancy moves like pushups, side to sides, etc., ON THE BIKE, and I felt like a total jackass, because coordination is definitely not one of my strong suits. I was completely flailing. I had nothing left to give; nothing left in my body, and all I wanted to do is get the fuck out of there. But, something clicked when she uttered those words into that headpiece. Something made me continue to move my ass even though I didn’t think my muscles would listen to my brain. And, so I did. And I didn’t quit. I persevered, and I pushed myself even though I thought I couldn’t get it done.

You know how I did it, bridey? I went at my own pace. Because she was right, I had come too far to quit. So, I slowed down just enough to feel my heart settle back into my chest, and did the best I could with the fancy shit (although, I do have a bruise on my collar bone…hmmmmm). The point is, that you’re 100% going to feel like quitting one or more times during your wedding planning. It’s overwhelming. It’s stressful. It sucks sometimes. It’s not always what you expected it to be. But, don’t quit. You’ve come too far to quit! Don’t screw up everything you’ve already accomplished because you’ll only make it worse for yourself when you come back to it. Just slow down. Take a breather and let your heart settle back into your chest. Sometimes that’s all it takes. Breathing. Breathing is key.

I find myself saying that a lot these days. “Breathe. Take a breath.” Bridey, we’ve all become so programmed to GO! GO! GO! that so often, we forget to breathe while we race to the altar. And, frankly? That’s bullshit. I don’t care if your wedding is tomorrow or next year. Go at your own pace. Don’t allow yourself to succumb to the pressure of feeling like you have to accomplish everything immediately. Don’t put that kind of stress on yourself. It’s you versus you, not you versus every other bride getting married with better Instagram photos or a juicer Pinterest page. Fuck that noise! Appreciate the things you like, and then move on.

So what are you supposed to do if you’re having trouble getting over the wedding planning hump? Change your perspective; see it from an outside view. And, go long… What would your future married self tell your current engaged self as you struggle with this particular piece of your wedding planning? She’d tell you that, no matter what, you’re still going to marry to your sig other, and to take a break. Come back with a fresh set of eyes after you’ve taken some time to focus on you. Or, perhaps she’d tell you to plan your wedding out of order. The reality is that the order in which you plan your wedding is flexible. Crazy, right? Stuck on food selection? No problem. Just work on the color scheme/florals/linen instead, and come back to the food after you’ve had some time off. Can’t determine your bridal party? Worried about hurting feelings? Perhaps you shouldn’t have one… I don’t know, but what I DO know is that you’d be amazed at how easy these choices can be once you’ve given yourself permission to breathe and quiet those inner demons.

Bridey, you’ve come too far to quit. Push yourself. And maybe that means pushing yourself to a yoga retreat or girls weekend or romantic weekend, but either way, do push yourself because you WILL persevere! You can do this! 

Photo by Johnson Wang on Unsplash