Relationships

Reboot ~ Please Don't Come to My Wedding... How Cutting the Guest List Means Cutting the Cord

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“Please don’t come to my wedding,” she said jokingly, although with a bit of truth behind her words. I laughed with her because I understand how out of control the guest list can become, and when those invitees whom you thought were not going to accept your (strained) invitation decide to grace you with their presence, along with all of those guests you knew were going to come to your wedding, the budget struggle and the lost prospect of an intimate wedding suddenly become very, very real. Bridey, the guest list is probably the hardest part of wedding planning you will encounter because it affects everything. Every decision. Every selection. Every dollar.

So, what is a bride to do? How do you cut the guest list so that you don’t have to cross your fingers every time an RSVP arrives? How do you do it without hurting feelings? Honestly, you don’t. Somebody is going to be hurt because they weren’t invited even if they had no intention of going to your wedding. That’s just how it goes. And it sucks, but that’s the reality of it. So, I need you to do something for me. Imagine a world where you got to decide who would be in attendance on one of the biggest days of your life. Really think about it. Now, write it down. Who’s on that list, bridey? Close family, friends, etc.. Right? Awesome. Now, stop thinking about who’s not on the list and start thinking about how you’re going to handle your ideal guest list. Because, this is it! And for those who didn’t make the cut? Too bad. Remember, you don’t have to apologize, you just have to understand the consequences of your actions and figure out the balance between the two.

Bridey, the truth? No bullshit? Those you don’t invite will be pissed off and hurt, and potentially hold a grudge against you for the rest of their life (and yours). So, the question becomes, are you willing to cut the cord? It’s completely possible that some of these people will never speak to you again, un-friend you on FaceBook, and fall off entirely. And honestly, this might not be a bad thing. Perhaps it’s even an opportunity to filter out the people in your life you’ve been dying to let go of, but haven’t quite found the right excuse. Well, I’d say that by not inviting them to your wedding you’re pretty much sealing the deal!

Although, what about those who you still adore, but didn’t make the cut simply because by inviting them would mean that you would have to invite the string of relatives associated with them (to keep it “fair”)? Sadly, they might end up being collateral damage, however if you’re able to have an honest conversation about your reasoning, then you could potentially salvage these relationships. But, there is no guarantee, and that is what you have to internalize and decide how important certain relationships are to you. And, only you can answer that question.

Look, I know it’s not easy, be that as it may, it’s still your wedding, and your choice. In my opinion, down the road… you’ll end up filtering out those people who really don’t matter to you or make much of a difference in your life (family or not) simply by living. That’s how it goes. So, why not cut the cord now and mark your wedding day as the day you didn’t succumb to the pressure of being all inclusive even at your own expense (literally and figuratively). Got it? Good! Now, go write your list! And good luck!

Image via Lanty

A Nautically Perfect, Sensationally Sweet and Incredibly Relaxed Beachfront Wedding

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Meet Shelby and Jake. This fun-filled B+G met on a boat! I mean, kinda makes me feel like a degenerate for meeting my hus in a bar! But, it's been thirteen years, so I guess we're doing something right! Anyway... Shelby was working as a camp counselor for Reef Relief and Jake happened to be working on the same boat. And, according to the adorably cute pic above, sparks were totally flying. They beat the odds and withstood the difficulty of a long distance relationship while Shelby earned her Masters in Marine Biology from the University of Miami. After graduation, Shelby moved to Key West and began her career researching corals, while Jake transitioned from working in the water sports industry to a teaching career. 

Bridey, THIS WEDDING IS EVERYTHING! It's so lovely and well designed, but at the same time, supremely relaxed and fun. And you know that I preach how important perspective is during wedding planning and on your wedding day, and this B+G fucking nailed it! The details are stunning AND they are clearly having the best.day.ever. So, scroll down and absorb the vibe and the take in the beauty of Shelby + Jake's kickass wedding!

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Are you completely dying over these two pics? This incredible building is The Southernmost House, a historic beachfront Key West boutique hotel. Just wait until you see the backyard!

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Lovin' the flowers with the beautiful bridesmaid dresses in the background.

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I love this picture. It's entirely honest and beautiful.

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Meanwhile as the girls are getting ready... I can't even! LOVE IT!

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Jake, you look charming and handsome! He didn't want to wear a tie "because I feel like I am choking!" While I don't wear ties too often, I can appreciate feeling a bit claustrophobic with something wrapped around my neck!

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Seriously? It really doesn't get much sweeter!

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I love that as somebody who has never met Shelby + Jake, I can clearly see how much they love each other. I can also tell that they have a fucking fantastic time together too!

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That is one hell of a swirl! Totally GORGEOUS!

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Shelby said that, "The backdrop was simply baby's breath with the deep blue ocean behind it." 

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I mean... These pics of the ceremony. Sniff, sniff...

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Love the Florida Keys map the B+G are using as a guest book!

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Industry Peeps:

Photographer: Freas Photography
Equipment Rentals: Prestige Party Rentals
Makeup Artist: Crystal Smith's Theatrical Makeup
Floral Designer: Petals & Twigs 
Event Planner: Soiree Key West, LLC
DJ: SoundWave Productions
Reception Venue: Southernmost House
Caterer: Three Fine Cooks
Officiant: Weddings Key West

Please Don't Come to My Wedding... How Cutting the Guest List Means Cutting the Cord

lanty-251049.jpg

“Please don’t come to my wedding,” she said jokingly, although with a bit of truth behind her words. I laughed with her because I understand how out of control the guest list can become, and when those invitees whom you thought were not going to accept your (strained) invitation decide to grace you with their presence, along with all of those guests you knew were going to come to your wedding, the budget struggle and the lost prospect of an intimate wedding suddenly become very, very real. Bridey, the guest list is probably the hardest part of wedding planning you will encounter because it affects everything. Every decision. Every selection. Every dollar.

So, what is a bride to do? How do you cut the guest list so that you don’t have to cross your fingers every time an RSVP arrives? How do you do it without hurting feelings? Honestly, you don’t. Somebody is going to be hurt because they weren’t invited even if they had no intention of going to your wedding. That’s just how it goes. And it sucks, but that’s the reality of it. So, I need you to do something for me. Imagine a world where you got to decide who would be in attendance on one of the biggest days of your life. Really think about it. Now, write it down. Who’s on that list, bridey? Close family, friends, etc.. Right? Awesome. Now, stop thinking about who’s not on the list and start thinking about how you’re going to handle your ideal guest list. Because, this is it! And for those who didn’t make the cut? Too bad. Remember, you don’t have to apologize, you just have to understand the consequences of your actions and figure out the balance between the two.

Bridey, the truth? No bullshit? Those you don’t invite will be pissed off and hurt, and potentially hold a grudge against you for the rest of their life (and yours). So, the question becomes, are you willing to cut the cord? It’s completely possible that some of these people will never speak to you again, un-friend you on FaceBook, and fall off entirely. And honestly, this might not be a bad thing. Perhaps it’s even an opportunity to filter out the people in your life you’ve been dying to let go of, but haven’t quite found the right excuse. Well, I’d say that by not inviting them to your wedding you’re pretty much sealing the deal!

Although, what about those who you still adore, but didn’t make the cut simply because by inviting them would mean that you would have to invite the string of relatives associated with them (to keep it “fair”)? Sadly, they might end up being collateral damage, however if you’re able to have an honest conversation about your reasoning, then you could potentially salvage these relationships. But, there is no guarantee, and that is what you have to internalize and decide how important certain relationships are to you. And, only you can answer that question.

Look, I know it’s not easy, be that as it may, it’s still your wedding, and your choice. In my opinion, down the road… you’ll end up filtering out those people who really don’t matter to you or make much of a difference in your life (family or not) simply by living. That’s how it goes. So, why not cut the cord now and mark your wedding day as the day you didn’t succumb to the pressure of being all inclusive even at your own expense (literally and figuratively). Got it? Good! Now, go write your list! And good luck!

Image via Lanty

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ The Bridal Party Breakup

It's the truth hurts Tuesday brideys! And boy do I have a story for you! The best part of this story (actually, more like the worst)? It happened to me. And looking back, I definitely should have and could have handled it better, but frankly I feel like I never should have been in this situation in the first place. Actually, that's why I am choosing to share this story with you so that if you are in a similar position as a bride-to-be, you won't do what this bride did. I mean, she completely put me on the spot and forced a reaction from me that was kind, but not truthful. Any idea where I am going with this brideys?

Here's a hint... Don't ask a very new friend (new as in you've known her for about two months) to be your MAID OF HONOR! It's a hell of an honor and a huge responsibility, so if you don't know somebody well enough, then you might not realize just how much you are asking of them. Instead of the honor that it should be, it may feel more like entrapment to your friend

How to Prevent Yourself From Wandering into the Deep End of Crazy

**STORY SUBMITTED BY GISELLE F.**

Weddings are magical; not only in the way they make every woman feel like a princess, but also in the effect it has on females. We’ve all seen perfectly sensible women try on the white veil and suddenly turn into raging, crying, hyperventilating, bossy creatures with raised eyebrows, flared nostrils, loud voices and waving fingers. We all swear that, when it is our turn to walk down the aisle, we will be sane and calm. If this is a serious goal for you, it is wise to set strategies to prevent yourself from wandering into the deep end of crazy.

In Sickness and in Health... Before the Wedding

{Photograph via Jennifer Brotchie Photography}

So, remember that freebie I mentioned a while back in my "Listen Up" post? You know, the wedding I am planning for free because the bride and groom are my friends? Well, it is coming up this weekend and I could not be more thrilled for several reasons, but most of all because the groom is healthy. The groom is alive, and not in pain. And for that, all of our hard work feels absolutely incredible. This truly is a celebration not only for the union of two people who love each other, but for two people who have already been through sickness and health together. Not to mention a groom that survived a major surgical operation with flying colors, and loves to show off the scars. 

I'm Still in Recovery

Today I feel sick. Today I feel sad. And I know what this is all about... I have the after-wedding hangover. Irregardless of how much I fucking hated this bride, I worked my ass off for over a year making all of the details fit perfectly into this colossal event. I mean, I worked with her for sixteen months. SIXTEEN MONTHS! And even though she was a total bitch and pretty much every moment I spent with her was excruciating,

And the Tree Was Unhappy

I'm going to take a cue from a MOG I recently worked with, and look at this upcoming nightmare of a wedding the way she looked at her son's wedding... she was just going to get through it. So, that's what I am going to do. I am just going to get through it. I AM JUST GOING TO GET THROUGH IT. Because I am so done. I don't care. I feel like the fucking giving tree (The Giving Tree, Shel Silverstein), and right now I am down to a teeny tiny stump with absolutely nothing left to give. Actually, if I had any branches left, I'd use them to the whack the bitch, and completely fuck her over by quitting the day before her wedding.

Drastic Times Call for Drastic Measures...

After the unfortunate and deeply saddening and scary events of 9/11, I know several people who decided that life was way to short, and the unexpected can happen at any time... That said, they took some drastic measures to make their lives better. If they were in love, then they finally popped the question. If they were head over heals for somebody, then they finally told them how they felt. 

I Hate Everything About You

I really don’t know how to say this delicately. I fucking hate you. I hate everything about you. I cringe when I see your name in my inbox or on my caller ID. I hate that you cc me on every single email. I hate that you emailed somebody at 4:30 PM on Friday afternoon, and just cc’ed me on your email to them this morning asking why you haven’t heard back. I hate that you refused to use most the vendors in my network, and now I am left to clean up their mess (already) and we haven’t even reached your wedding day yet. I hate that you refuse to let me manage your expectations. To put it simply bridey, I hate you. 

Because It's Not Only YOUR Day

Story submitted and written by Dazed and Confused

First, thank you and God bless you for making this site! I am feeling better just reading it.

I absolutely agree that the bride and groom should have their special day be as they wish; more than any narcissistic family members who may try to take over, the bride and groom should be in charge and not be overshadowed or railroaded. However, with that said, OMG I'm going to scream if I hear the phrase "such and such is OUR DAY" when used to justify demands and expectations of family members and in-laws who manipulate others like puppets

Your Broken Heart or Expectation?

Let’s talk about money. Like really talk about money because I am so sick of dancing around this fucking topic. Brideys, you have to set your budget and your expectations early so that you aren’t disappointed later. PERIOD. 

I’ve said this before, but apparently I need to say it again. The second after you get engaged, you must talk about money, and your overall budget with ALL parties contributing to your wedding. The reason?