Wedding Planners

Bitchless Bride is on Yahoo! Finance! 6 Ways to Avoid Debt During Wedding Planning

 

I am so beyond THRILLED to have had the opportunity to be featured on Yahoo! Finance! Bridey, check out the video, read the article, and BE SMART WITH YOUR MONEY!

An Elegant, 'Tacolicious', San Francisco Wedding Filled with Family, Fun and a Furbaby!

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Bridey, how cool is that photograph? Right? Definitely a side of the Golden Gate Bridge you don't see very often! Although, I can't say I'm too surprised that Malorie + Ashley found a corner of something already so extraordinary, and made it even more exceptional... I mean, these two had TACOS at their wedding, which leads me to believe that anything is possible! TACOS! Yes, TACOS! And, on top of that, they served homemade banana pudding and whoopie pies! OMFG, if only I could have been there! But, these pics are so FAB that it totally feels like I was there (well, minus the fact that my stomach is growling!), and you will too!

The story? Well, Malorie + Ashley met at American University in DC, but the romance didn't begin until Malorie graduated and left the area (isn't that always the way?). Once they realized that what they had was well beyond friendship, they followed each other across the country. Awwww.... Sniff... Sniff... Anyway, I love their story (keep scrolling for more deets), I love their super chill and elegant vibe, and I love how they love each other. Enjoy!!

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Are you dying over those bouquets? The dresses? RIGHT? Totally gorgeous! 

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From the bridesOur actual ceremony took place at City Hall. That was the easiest and best decision we made for our wedding day. The ceremony was on the 4th floor balcony with a handful of family and a gorgeous backdrop.

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Bridey, you know I am such a sucker for a good "look", right? And, this pic is no different... I LOVE it when we catch a glimpse into a relationship simply by a captured moment. So powerful!

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Hooray! We did it!!

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I mean... Talk about an amazing backdrop...

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From the brides: We have a French Bulldog named Frannie who we are obsessed with and treat like a child, so we knew that we needed to find room in our day to include her. After our ceremony at City Hall, one of our best friends arrived on the building steps with Frannie who was dolled up in a special bowtie for the occasion! We were able to snap a few photos with our furbaby before continuing on to the reception.

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From the bridesAfter the ceremony, we surprised our friends and family with a trolley tour of the city. We drove around the Embarcadero and through Fisherman's Wharf, then made a stop at Fort Point for incredible views of the Golden Gate Bridge and breaching whales. Most of our family hadn't been to San Francisco before, so this was the perfect "2-hour tour" to share the highlights with them.

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From the brides: When we started planning our wedding, we fell in love with one venue only to find out that a construction project was scheduled for our wedding month. So we went back to the drawing board. Eventually, we found the perfect spot at the SF Film Centre in the Presidio. We knew we wanted a beautiful location that showcased an iconic part of the city and this checked all of our boxes.

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LOVE LOVE LOVE the décor! It's light and refreshing, yet classy and elegant.

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From the bridesWe LOVE tacos! And Tacolicious is one of our favorite spots in the city. Their catering is out of this world, and their event coordinator Brielle Gordon was incredible.

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From the bridesWearing fancy heels for the wedding was fine and all, but we also wanted to be able to boogie on the dance floor at our reception. We had matching custom Chuck Taylor sneakers printed with our wedding logo so we could change into those after all the formality was complete.

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From the bridesWe had a baking extravaganza with our mothers a couple of days before our wedding and made all of our childhood favorites. Our guests loved the selection of sweet treats, everything from whoopie pies to banana pudding!

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Thank you Malorie + Ashley for sharing your lovely story and your fabulous wedding with Bitchless Bride!! 

Industry Peeps:

Photographer: Red Eye Collection
Event Planner: Buzzworthy Events 
Linens + Coverings: La Tavola Fine Linens
Design + Décor: Pieces by Violet
Equipment Rentals: Bright Event Rentals
Photo Booth Equipment: Magbooth 
Hair Stylist: CODE Salon
DJ: Heart of Gold
Caterer: Tacolicious 
Ceremony Location: San Francisco City Hall
Event Venue: San Francisco Film Centre

When it Comes to Weddings, Size Really Does Matter. Five Ways Not to be a Pain in the Ass While Planning a Small Wedding...

Is it true what they say about size? That bigger is better and that size really does matter? Ten years ago, I would have taken a much more politically correct stance on this topic, and told you that size isn't important; that it's what you do with it that counts... But, as I get older, I've come to realize that size is super important. And no, you dirty dirty people, I'm not talking about penis size, I'm talking about the size of your wedding!! Don't get me wrong, I love a small and intimate wedding, surrounded only by those you really love, but usually, planning these small and intimate affairs is a bigger pain in the ass than the bigger more elaborate weddings. Why? Because there's more at stake and less buffer. That said, I do have some advice on how to not be a pain in the ass during planning. Look down.

1. First of all... Remember that while your party may be small, your attitude doesn't need to be big. And as I've written a hundred, million times before, your shit attitude will hinder your success and will only get in your way. So, while you may be falling apart on the inside (for reasons listed below), putting on a face and being nice to those around you will only make for a better planning experience. Trust me, I know it's hard, but as several wise women (and probably some men too) have said in the past, "fake it 'till you make it". 

2. Managing family dynamics can be more difficult with fewer people acting as a "distraction" to the big picture. And fewer people still means big opinions. And, if I had to guess, I'm sure you're fielding plenty of big opinions about a having small, intimate wedding. Opinions from your mom and dad or your soon-to-be in laws about all of the friends and family they can't invite. And that can be absolutely rattling. I get it. I really do, but, bridey, it's really simple. Stay strong, and remember why you made the choice to have a small celebration. Perhaps you wanted an intimate day and money in your pocket for your plans after the wedding. Or perhaps you don't love your giant extended family. Whatever your reasoning may be, remember it when things get tough. Own it when things get tough. Stand by it when things get tough. And stay strong when things get tough. Which leads me to my next point... The fucking guest list. 

3. Determining the guest list can be painful. You and your sig other are choosing to have a small wedding and unfortunately that choice comes with consequences. Don't get me wrong, I really love the idea of a small wedding; I get it... I did it (well, I eloped, but still dealt with a lot of the same issues as you!). And, I pissed off a lot of people in the process. But, deciding to essentially eliminate friends and family can be hurtful. So, be blunt. Don't dance around guest list. Be open with the people you're not inviting and tell them that although they're not invited to your wedding doesn't mean that you don't care about them. No need to get into budget conversations or reasons here bridey; you don't owe them an explanation or an apology, just the truth. And leave it there. The less you say the better. I've said it before and I'll say it again... You might be doing them a favor because maybe they don't want to go your wedding anyway.

4. Hire a wedding planner. I know that you think you don't need one simply because your wedding is small, but your wedding planner can act as the perfect liaison for shit you don't want to deal with, and I'm not just talking about logistics. I'm talking about your mom whining about how you didn't invite Aunt Shirley or how sometimes glitches are more noticeable with less people. THAT'S why you here a planner. It's not because I don't believe in your planning abilities, it's fielding the bullshit that can get tricky.

5. Break tradition. Get rid of the formalities that aren't important to you. You're already breaking the rules by having a small wedding, so skip stupid shit. Skipping a DJ or band? Then get an amazing guitarist as entertainment so that you can have a first dance (if you want). No cake cutting? Fine. You should still have an amazing cake! That's one of the things I regret about eloping. We never cut the cake because we didn't have one! And I fucking love cake!!!! Anyway, all I'm saying, is that you've come this far... So, don't succumb to the pressure of "the norm" now! 

Bridey, you see a theme here? I'm telling you to stay strong and stand behind your decision. You're not doing anything wrong by choosing to have a beautifully small and intimate wedding. Just own your decision and kill any haters with kindness. You'll be surprised at how staying strong will empower your decision and your attitude! Got it?!

Photo by Scott Webb on Unsplash

Deals and Discounts... Should You be Asking Your Wedding Vendors for a Discount?

Bridey, I’m friends with pretty much all of my wedding vendors on FaceBook, and recently, a fellow vendor posted about how it’s almost inescapable for a bride and groom not to ask for a discount these days. Somehow, it’s become instilled in their DNA because of all of the free (and usually shitty) advice out there suggesting that couples must immediately ask if vendor pricing is flexible. Seriously, I’d say that at least 60% of recently engaged couples come out and ask for a discount before learning what they are receiving. They gear up for negotiation as if they are walking into a used car dealership… Like as wedding vendors, our prices are fluid, and adjustable and if they’re not, then they should be. But, why? Why has this become the “norm” in the hospitality industry? I mean, has it really come down to the fact that if we don’t automatically offer a discount, then we’re not being hospitable? Well, fuck that.

Look, I have said time, and time again, that, “if you don’t ask (for a discount) then you don’t get”. And, I still believe it. But, just like everything else in wedding planning and in life for that matter, one must use advice carefully and thoughtfully. Seriously, maybe I should have added the caveat that you must listen and understand the terms of the provisions before jumping the gun and asking for a discount. Perhaps once you learn more about what the vendor you are considering hiring for your wedding is offering, it won’t occur to you to ask for a discount simply because their pricing is fair for what you are receiving. Forgive me… I really thought I didn’t need to highlight this particular point, but apparently I should have. 

Bridey, think about it like it’s foreplay… Give your wedding vendors a chance to finish before the encore. Plain and simple. For example, the FB friend I referenced? He said that, “Couples always ask for a winter/off-season discounts. Don’t you think that this (winter) weather might be a little bit more stressful than a nice summer or fall day?” Bridey, really think about this… Picture your vendors driving to the wedding venue, loading in (and out) their equipment, and then safely getting home… in a snowstorm. If anything, you should be paying more for “off season”, not less. 

The exception? Wedding venues. Yes, you should still listen to their offerings, and not rush into asking for a discount, but in my experience, venues such as hotels, country clubs, etc. would rather provide a discount and have a wedding as opposed to no wedding at all, especially in their “off season”. Why? Because at the end of the day, these venues are a corporation with bosses to answer to, and monetary goals to meet and achieve, not an individual wedding vendor whose profession puts food on the table for their children. It’s a completely different animal. Usually, your photographer, videographer, DJ, invitation designer, harpist, pianist, wedding planner, etc. are one or two peeps trying to make a living. And, when you ask for a discount (immediately or not), you’re completely undermining their bottom line.

So, where does this leave us? Plain and simple, bridey, do you homework. Find out what the appropriate range for each wedding vendor, and then meet with them to find out why they fall on either side (or the middle) of the spectrum. If you love them, but they are truly out of your price range, then, and only then, ask if they have flexibility with their pricing. But, don’t be surprised if they don’t, because just like you, they have bills to pay and mouths to feed. Got it?

Image via Info Asuransi

BB's Finalizing the Deets for a Fancy Newport Wedding...

Sorry, bridey, but I don't have a real wedding to show you today. The truth? I ran out of time... Happens to the best of us, right? But, I have a really good "excuse"! I am putting the finishing touches on a fancy "real wedding" I have been planning in Newport, Rhode Island this weekend. What started out as some innocent bridal coaching & consulting, morphed into a full wedding planning gig. Love it when that happens! Soooo.... While I'm sorry I don't have anything to show you today, never fear... I'll make up for it! 

Happy Planning!

XO,

BB

Image via NessaEvents

Bridey, Why You Really Need to Give Me a Call!

Bridey, let's face it, wedding planning is stressful, time consuming and overwhelming. Right? And Bitchless Bride has dedicated four years to helping brides around the world to combat the bullshit, and drop the 'zillatude from your repertoire. But, you know how I can really help you? Call me. Phone moi. Talk to me! Let me steer you in the right direction before you lose your mind. 

Not to brag, but since I've launched Bitchless Bride Coaching in June, I have helped dozens of brides-to-be go from ass backwards to awesome. I have helped these brides to establish a solid plan, understand the next steps (and how to achieve them), and most of all, feel comfortable with the wedding planning process. Because as we all know, it is a process!

Bridey, if you're feeling a l'il cray, then please let me help you; schedule a time to talk to me! I have deliberately priced the wedding coaching sessions so that the bank will not break, and so that you can feel good about this "purchase". Let me turn your wedding planning into something that feels manageable instead of stressful. Bridey, you're literally only one call away from changing the course of your wedding day.

Follow this link to bridal bliss...

Image via DesiComments

Rock a Bye, Bridey... The Cradle Will Fall, But Mama Will Catch You, Veil and All...

I had such an intense and jarring epiphany a few weeks ago that I just had to share it with you, bridey. Ready? So, I'm someone who is pretty awesome with kids. I always have been (even before I had my own)... Maybe it's because I'm really a kid at heart or maybe it's simply an innate character trait, but kids like (more like love) me. I mean... I play hard, I'm not afraid to get dirty, I protect them from getting hurt, and I feed them. That's really all it takes... Just be present, be fun and be awesome, right?! Yeah! And then it dawned on me... Holy fuck, I'm a giant wedding-planner-babysitter. And, you know what? I'm fucking fantastic at juggling both of these hats. However, it's not too difficult considering that the similarities are profound. Actually, the similarities are borderline shocking. 

I spend hours, day and night, taking care of women (and men) getting married; facing a life changing event, a coming of age if you will, and treating them ever so carefully and kindly. I play hard, I'm not afraid to get dirty, I protect them and I feed them (although it's usually with boozey cocktails). It's 100% the same! When I work with a bride (and groom) I am extremely gentle and patient. I listen wholeheartedly, try to put myself in their position so that I can absorb their perspective, and I do this in a way that greatly surpasses any other kind of gentleness and patience I have in any other relationships in my life; except for that of my children.

The epiphany started when I was approached to mentor a woman looking to get into the masochist world of wedding and event planning. After I resisted the overwhelming urge of telling her to run away and never look back, I agreed to help her learn about wedding planning first hand, so she could determine if this was a world she'd willingly step in to... I told her that I'd be happy to help. (I also told her that if she wanted a family down the road, then perhaps she should look at a different career.) Anyway, that's when my epiphany began to surface...  Because this chick? She's a gregarious, sweet and enthusiastic gymnastics teacher. She's fantastic with kids!! And, that's when I thought, "She will be a natural in this business because she's great with kids, so she'd be perfect for a bride." 

Think about it... As a gymnastics instructor and as a wedding planner, we're both programed to coach, not to quit. We tell the kids and brides in our lives to walk away when you're frustrated, but don't quit... Keep going. Keep pushing, and then come back with fresh eyes. We constantly remind them that not everything needs to get accomplished today, just break the process down into small, accomplishable pieces instead of focusing on how difficult the overall task (or routine) is. We remind them to focus on the big picture, and we remind them how wonderful they are. Brides and children alike need positive reinforcement, and the two of us? Well, we oblige. 

So, will this chick be a good fit? My gut says 100%! But, I'll let you know for sure after the wedding... 

Image via Bobka Baby and Bridal

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ ***FLASHBACK*** A Heartfelt Confession from Your Overly Dedicated Wedding Planner

Sometimes I feel guilty when I post a FLASHBACK, but then I realize that if I already have a fantastic post, why reinvent the wheel? Right? I'm still getting my point across, and some of you haven't taken the time to go back and read everything I've ever written, so why the hell not? Anyway, bridey, absorb this one... This is like the worst thing you can do to a wedding planner, event manager (at a venue), etc. Everything worked out in the end (regarding my situation), but I still think back, and resent the hell out of the bride who asked me to jump through hoops when I was down for the count. Don't forget to check out the comments too!

May 26, 2015:

Perspective. There's that fucking word again. Ugh. Perspective. Sometimes even I hate that word because it really does shake the bullshit out of a situation and forces you to see the truth. And, as we all know, the truth really does hurt sometimes. Without giving too much away about myself, recently I went through somewhat of a difficult time, and although the dust has settled, I had the opportunity to reevaluate what's important in my life, and also, what's important your life too, bridey. Because as I was trying to get through my "situation", there was this one bride (who was aware of what I was up against), didn't care and nearly made me throw in the towel, quit wedding planning and search for what's next.

The most fucked up part of the story? This chick was done. Finito! She was married! She had her wedding, came back from her honeymoon and was "checking in" with me. Lovely, right? Well... No. It should have been, but it wasn't. And the crazy thing, is that her wedding day kicked ass. Every detail was executed perfectly, the family dynamics we were concerned about did not present themselves, and she (and her sig other) were quite thrilled with how the day went. So, why was she torturing me? What the fuck did she want? Well, the venue misplaced a few items. SMALL items. Easily replaceable items. And of course, she wanted me to go hunting and fight the fight. 

Really? You want ME to call the venue for you, and have them search for the cake knife and remaining ceremony programs (even though you have an extra box of them at your house)? Really? Bridey, you KNOW that I am in the middle of a personal crisis, and yet, you want me to follow up with the venue? WOW. Listen, I get that I orchestrated your event, handled all of the details and held your hand before sending you down the aisle. But, today, please... Either hold my fucking hand or call the chick at the venue yourself. It's not like you need me to get you thousands of dollars back for a shitty experience. You're asking me to care about a fucking cake knife, that you received as a gift... I mean... It's not a family heirloom, it's a gift from your registry. Deal with it... YOURSELF!

It was all I could do not to lose my shit and say exactly what I was thinking without exercising self control and filtering the bitch out of my voice. But, I did. And it was hard. Because, bridey, I hate to say it, but half of you will end up in divorce court, and you'll want to use that fucking cake knife to stab your sig other in the balls. And the other half of you? Well, you'll have your fair share of shit to deal with too. Real shit. Life or death shit. And that cake knife? You think you will still care about that stupid fucking cake knife? No, you won't. You will care about each other. You'll fight for each other. You'll fight the fights that are worth fighting for. You'll sleep on a chair next to hospital bed, and pray. Or maybe you'll sleep in a hospital bed, and pray for a brighter future. You'll learn that anything can happen at any moment, so appreciate what you have TODAY. Right? Kinda puts things into perspective, doesn't it?

Bridey, your wedding day is nothing more than a symbol of what's to come. I've thrown extravagant, over the top weddings, and I've thrown super simple weddings... And the ones I love the most? The weddings that represent the couple. The weddings that are heartfelt and see beyond the bullshit of "the day". These B+Gs get that their wedding day is only the first step towards whatever future they make of it together. Right?? So, now do you understand how little I care about that fucking cake knife? Can you see why that phone call had me thinking about what else I could possibly do with my life that didn't involve taking care of anybody else besides the people I love and myself?

Bridey, please... Let my confession be food for thought when you find yourself stressing over the stupid shit. In the end? It really doesn't matter. All that matters are the two of you...

Image via EngravingShop.com

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ The BEST Advice from the BEST Wedding Vendors in Boston!

Bridey, today's post is like hitting the jackpot of wedding planning. SERIOUSLY. If you are recently engaged or are in the midst of planning your wedding, stop what you're doing, and focus because you are about to be educated by the BEST in the wedding biz! I asked some of my absolute FAVORITE vendors in the Boston area to share the best piece of advice about planning a wedding, and these peeps? Well, they completely spilled the beans. I mean... There is so much wedding planning goodness in this post, that I could fucking chew it!!!

I rarely say cheesy shit like this, but this is a must read!! So, are you ready to learn? Ready to say, "Thank you, Bitchless Bride!!" Good! You're welcome! 

Wedding Planners:

When you are newly engaged, you tend to become inundated with information overload and it can be daunting to say the least.  My advice to newly-engaged couples is to forgo the route of hiring all of your vendors until you’ve secured the right, professional, experienced wedding planner. Some couples feel it’s best to hire a “day of” coordinator and do the rest themselves, only to learn how much money could have been easily saved by avoiding costly mistakes and uneducated decisions along the way. The right planner should be your guide, your educator, your confidant, your representative along the way and you need to put your trust into this person as they do this every day and truly look out for your best interests from the start. 

Paula Marrero ~ Marrero Events 

My advice to new brides: Don't panic, it's all overwhelming at first but it's important to book the top 3 first-top priorities (if you're not working with a planner) are to find your venue, photographer and band--then breathe!  I also advise brides to wait to design the space until about 6 months before the wedding... You'll be able to have a couple months thinking about ideas, pinning on Pinterest , etc... I find that so many of my clients go in with one idea and once they've relaxed and see what is out there or trending in their wedding year they change their idea of what their wedding looks like--so ultimately they get what they want instead of what they thought they wanted--big difference! 

Amy Kimball ~ Amy Kimball Events 

Invitations:

Invitations are the introduction of your wedding to your friends and family; they set the tone for the event. You can’t just get a quote as there are a lot of factors to consider such as quantity, quality, type of inserts, type of print, etc. There is a lot more involved then most people realize. So, plan accordingly.

Mara Weiner ~ Allure Invitations

Cake:

Be your own "bride" ...don't worry about what family, in-laws, friends & co-workers want for YOUR WEDDING. Follow what YOU have wanted & dreamed about. 

Paula Kirrane ~ Icing on the Cake

Entertainment:

Once your venue is booked, the next step is to lock in your entertainment. In order to get the best DJ or band out there, you have to book well in advance. Remember, first and foremost? Your guests are going to remember if they had a good  time. That’s why good entertainment is vital.

Always ask your entertainment vendor about their other recommended services. This is how you get the best deals without making a laundry list of phone calls. They may already have what you need and could save you time and money without sacrificing quality.

Mike Amado ~ Entertainment Specialists

Photographers:

Lately couples are asking me if they should do the "first look". My answer is always YES! The first reveal is always so sweet. The moment is far more emotion and allows for a more intimate/private moment with just the couple. 

Some brides envision this grand moment when they are walking down the aisle, and the groom is sobbing… However, in reality, in a traditional formal setting with 200 people looking at you… The groom often looks like a deer in head lights. Not at all the magical moment you think it will be! So yes, do a first look! 

Lauren Killian ~ Person + Killian Photography

Don’t do a winter e-session! People look freezing, and are super uncomfortable. Nothing like having dirty snow and branches coming out of everyone's heads! Wait until the spring when the temperatures are higher, and the trees start to bloom. I highly suggest April-November.

~ Anonymous Photographer

Cinematography:

1. Make sure that your photographer and videographer work well as a team. Even better, choose a team where your photographer and videographer have worked together and enjoy the experience.

2. Ask your prospective wedding film maker how they operate during the wedding day. Will they have lights on their cameras? Will they be on the dance floor circling the couple during the first dance? Will they stand behind the officiant during the ceremony - Or will they stake out spots based on experience and fade into the decor?

3. Ask your toasters to limit toasts to under 5 minutes. 3 is even better. There’s not much they can say (that won’t be dumb or embarrassing) after a couple of minutes.

4. Invite your guests to leave their phones and cameras in their pockets or purses. You’re paying for pros to document your wedding - don’t let the amateurs get in the way!

5. When considering wedding cinematography, check out the sound  as well as the images of potential pros. Capturing pristine sound of your grandfather’s blessing and knowing how to integrate it with music and image, is a complex art form. Don’t settle for pretty pictures if you already have a photographer you love. When it comes to film making, sound is 60% or more.

6. If you desperately want a top notch film maker to capture your wedding, and have a limited budget, consider one of the following:

a. Grab pics from the HD / 24 Frames per second of the video capture and forego the photographer.

b. Hire the film maker you want and see if you can work out a payment plan that works for you.

c. Opt for the best film maker you can afford, ask them to produce a short highlights now, and wait until you’ve financially recovered to have them edit the feature film.

Naomi Raiselle ~ Generations Cinemastories 

Florist:

The Best way to trim your budget is to trim you guest list (it literally makes every line item more affordable - period, the end)! (AMEN!!!!!!)

If you "absolutely love and have to have peonies" - know that you absolutely MUST select a wedding date in May or early-June!

Bring as few people to each and every appointment that you book ... the less opinions, the less stressed out you will be!

~ Anonymous Florist

And there you have it... You're welcome, bridey!!! Now, all you have to do is listen to the professionals trying to help you.

Image via The Perfect Job

Fantasy Friday ~ When a Wedding Planner Gets Married...

When a wedding planner gets married, odds are, the wedding is going to be fucking amazing. And Shanna and Josh's wedding? A MAZ ING! Like, soooooo gorgeous, and soooooo warm that I cannot wait for you to scroll down and see the exquisite décor! Bridey, you know that I am a HUGE fan of uplighting, and Shanna's pink and ivory palette is simply beauteous. For real... Don't forget to light your wedding!

BTW... See Shanna's dress? The hint of pink? The ball gown? Isn't it stunning?! OMG, if I told you all of the amazing details of the B+G's wedding, then I'd be wasting your time. I mean, why talk about it when you can just scroll down and see for yourself? So, go... Enjoy this beautiful wedding!
The dress and the bling... Yes, please!Shanna, you look beautiful in that incredible gown and jewels!Let's go!!!Josh! I LOVE how you're looking at Shanna! (Nice dimples, too!)Great sunglasses!!I mean... Talk about a glowing bride....Totally love that their wedding was at a tapas restaurant!Those are sparkly Christmas ornaments which doubled as place cards. I mean... Talk about a fantastic wedding favor! Okay. Ready, bridey? Look down!!RIGHT? Could this room be any more romantic or beautiful? The linen, the lighting, the flowers! OH MY!!
Magnificent cake! And the room, glowing...Sniff... Sniff...Thank you for sharing your absolutely stunning wedding with Bitchless Bride!!!

Industry Peeps:

Photographer, Cinema & Video:  A Magic Moment Photography and Video
Reception Venue: Ceviche Tapas Bar and Restaurant
Floral Designer: RAINING ROSES PRODUCTIONS INC.
Event Planner: Weddings Unique

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ When the Bride Knows More Than Her Planner... REALLY??

I had to share this vendor vent with you, bridey. And, I had to put it front and center because I think it's safe to say that pretty much every wedding planner I know gets frustrated when the bride (or the couple) thinks she knows more than her planner. It's irritating. It's annoying. It's fucking grounds for dropping you as a client. Seriously, bridey, don't bother hiring a wedding planner if you're going to challenge her/his every move. Do it yourself. Be a DIY bride, and I'm not talking about making your own centerpieces; I'm talking about planning your own damn wedding.

Written by Mrs. Peacock:

Hello! OK, so, I love your blog. As a planner, I feel like it should be required reading for all my brides and grooms. (Ahem... Me too!!) Thanks for giving us vendors a place to commiserate.

Anyways, one of your posts - Bridey, Don't Go Away Mad, Just Go Away!, really resonated with me.

Yes. So. Many. Times. Yes.

How I wish I followed this advice and my own intuition with my last bride + groom. You know those couples who think that they know how to plan a wedding better than their planner does? They often go hand in hand with the my wedding has to look exactly like this million dollar wedding but at a tiny fraction of the price couple? And so often, throughout the planning, you know that these people are going to find reason to be upset about something, so what's the point in bending over backwards to try to make them happy? The type that treat you like you are their personal assistant that they have always wanted to have just to abuse? The ones who flat out refuse to listen to your (and all the other vendors!) skilled advice, and then when things don't go according to plan (just as you told them it would) precisely BECAUSE of their own ill advised choices, they berate you for it? Yeah, it was one of those couples.

I knew I should've walked away in the early stages but I didn't because -and here's the kicker- they were friends of mine. Friends of mine who had hidden the entitled vicious privileged brat side of them very well over the years. Friends of mine who clearly viewed the roles of Bride and Groom as tyrannical King and Queen. And yes, I've learned my lesson working with friends now. But the point is, had I just walked away from what was clearly going to be a losing situation, I could've saved myself a lot of stress, time, heartache, and unfortunately, a friendship.

- Mrs. Peacock

***

Basically, bridey? If you hire a wedding planner, then it's up to you to decide to trust her/him. Make a conscious choice to trust her/him, just as you would with any other professional you hire in any other aspect of your life. If not, then plan it yourself.

Image via Friar Tux Shop

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ A Heartfelt Confession from Your Overly Dedicated Wedding Planner

Perspective. There's that fucking word again. Ugh. Perspective. Sometimes even I hate that word because it really does shake the bullshit out of a situation and forces you to see the truth. And, as we all know, the truth really does hurt sometimes. Without giving too much away about myself, recently I went through somewhat of a difficult time, and although the dust has settled, I had the opportunity to reevaluate what's important in my life, and also, what's important your life too, bridey. Because as I was trying to get through my "situation", there was this one bride (who was aware of what I was up against), didn't care and nearly made me throw in the towel, quit wedding planning and search for what's next.

The most fucked up part of the story? This chick was done. Finito! She was married! She had her wedding, came back from her honeymoon and was "checking in" with me. Lovely, right? Well... No. It should have been, but it wasn't. And the crazy thing, is that her wedding day kicked ass. Every detail was executed perfectly, the family dynamics we were concerned about did not present themselves, and she (and her sig other) were quite thrilled with how the day went. So, why was she torturing me? What the fuck did she want? Well, the venue misplaced a few items. SMALL items. Easily replaceable items. And of course, she wanted me to go hunting and fight the fight. 

Really? You want ME to call the venue for you, and have them search for the cake knife and remaining ceremony programs (even though you have an extra box of them at your house)? Really? Bridey, you KNOW that I am in the middle of a personal crisis, and yet, you want me to follow up with the venue? WOW. Listen, I get that I orchestrated your event, handled all of the details and held your hand before sending you down the aisle. But, today, please... Either hold my fucking hand or call the chick at the venue yourself. It's not like you need me to get you thousands of dollars back for a shitty experience. You're asking me to care about a fucking cake knife, that you received as a gift... I mean... It's not a family heirloom, it's a gift from your registry. Deal with it... YOURSELF!

It was all I could do not to lose my shit and say exactly what I was thinking without exercising self control and filtering the bitch out of my voice. But, I did. And it was hard. Because, bridey, I hate to say it, but half of you will end up in divorce court, and you'll want to use that fucking cake knife to stab your sig other in the balls. And the other half of you? Well, you'll have your fair share of shit to deal with too. Real shit. Life or death shit. And that cake knife? You think you will still care about that stupid fucking cake knife? No, you won't. You will care about each other. You'll fight for each other. You'll fight the fights that are worth fighting for. You'll sleep on a chair next to hospital bed, and pray. Or maybe you'll sleep in a hospital bed, and pray for a brighter future. You'll learn that anything can happen at any moment, so appreciate what you have TODAY. Right? Kinda puts things into perspective, doesn't it?

Bridey, your wedding day is nothing more than a symbol of what's to come. I've thrown extravagant, over the top weddings, and I've thrown super simple weddings... And the ones I love the most? The weddings that represent the couple. The weddings that are heartfelt and see beyond the bullshit of "the day". These B+Gs get that their wedding day is only the first step towards whatever future they make of it together. Right?? So, now do you understand how little I care about that fucking cake knife? Can you see why that phone call had me thinking about what else I could possibly do with my life that didn't involve taking care of anybody else besides the people I love and myself?

Bridey, please... Let my confession be food for thought when you find yourself stressing over the stupid shit. In the end? It really doesn't matter. All that matters are the two of you...

Image via EngravingShop.com