An Open Letter to One of My Favorite Brides (and Grooms) Ever...
Recently I worked with one the best couples ever. Like in all of my years as a wedding planner, this B+G climbed their way to the top of my awesome list immediately. Why? Well, they were kind and respectful (to me and to each other), they valued my opinion as their wedding planner and the opinions of their other wedding vendors, and they had some serious perspective about what it meant to get and be married. Actually, all they wanted was to be married, to each other, and then move forward with their lives. I became involved simply because they needed some direction and advice on how to execute a low key yet lovely day. What started as a wedding consulting call, morphed into wedding planning, and resulted in friendship. I have no doubt that this couple will be in my life for a long time.
But, what made them so special? What put them on my awesome list? Well, at first it was the union of our personalities and some serious open mindedness. Initially this bride called for my wedding planning advice. But, after chatting for an hour, she listened to what I had to say, and then acted on it. I mean, fuck yeah! I love when someone who calls on me as an "expert" actually listens to me and runs with my advice. Because my biggest pet peeve is working with a client who needs/wants advice, but then thinks they know more than I do. I mean, why call me if you (think you) know more than I do? Right? A few days later she initiated another call and then ultimately hired Bitchless Bride to plan her wedding!! But, what really got me about this B+G was their spot on perspective. Their excitement for each other was apparent and everything else took a back seat. They never got wrapped up in the bullshit. They never wanted to "make a big thing" out of their wedding. They simply wanted to be together.
Actually, what they wanted was for their guests to have an amazing experience coupled with delicious food and a fabulous celebration. And that's exactly what they got. I mean, like all weddings, there were a few curve balls with some wonky family dynamics strewn in the mix, and work stressors (um, and not to mention the four stitches the bride got above her eye a few days ahead of the wedding which slowly became more and more black and blue), but shit happens and in the grand scheme of things, they handled everything well. They handled everything well and in stride because it was never really about the wedding and the "big day". It was always about the marriage, and their life together following the event.
Bridey, the reason why I'm telling you about this experience is twofold. First of all, I'm obsessed with perspective. I'm in love with perspective. I'm married to perspective (couldn't help it!). And this B+G owned the shit out of their perspective. They are in love and want to be together through the good, bad and everything in between. And secondly, every.single.person involved in creating a kickass day for them was simultaneously rooting for them. There was nothing that we couldn't or didn't want to do for them because they were so lovely and special. And as a wedding vendor, you hold on to that feeling and you run with it! But, more than anything else? You give. And you give a lot. Because it becomes more than just "a job". It becomes magical.