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    Monday
    Jan162012

    Swamp Ass

    Yeah, I said it. Swamp ass. One of my more vocal brides once told me she had “swamp ass” after a long stretch of dancing. For those of you classy girls, “swamp ass” means that your butt is sweating underneath that beautiful, multi-layered wedding dress of yours. How can we fix this problem? Don’t wear lacy thong panties that will be used to lure your husband into consummating your marriage later that night. Wear full cotton briefs and change later. The cotton will absorb the sweat, and you will be much more comfortable. Besides… most couples tell me that they don’t “do it” until the next morning anyway. Yes, they tell me. I don’t know why… Just quit being a bitch and change your panties!

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    Reader Comments (5)

    OMG! You must be speaking of my best friend! She was constantly dragging me to the restroom to air out! And you're right, she said they didn't have sex until the next day anyway! So now she remembers her wedding day fondly, but with a sweaty butt!

    March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca

    That's hilarious and gross all at the same time! Thanks for the tip. Getting married next month, and I'm sure this piece of advice will come in handy. Don't want a sweaty ass on my wedding day.

    April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBridal Babe

    Hehe! Funny and great advice! I will be sure to tell all of my brides' (I'm the planner who commented on your budget piece)! It's strange what gets missed with all of the planning we do. It all comes down to cotton underwear. Thank you!

    April 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

    This is one of those issues women seem to never talk about to brides-to-be, like they want them to suffer as they did. Why do women refrain from sharing knowledge with one another?

    So here's the secret---One bride once told me that baby powder was a must-have item to put on prior to getting into your dress--- for the inside of your thighs and anywhere else you think may sweat excessively when you're out on the dance floor! Oh and the cotton underwear is definitely a must-do....good call BB.

    July 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLiz Fields

    "Quit being a bitch and change your panties". BB I have to say that you are one funny chick. Thank you for your insightful anecdotes and stories. I look forward to your posts like I look forward to a cocktail after work. I will keep this in mind for when I get married next year. And when I have a nice clean butt on my wedding night, I will remember who I learned it from.

    July 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCandace A.

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