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    Wednesday
    Nov072012

    The Big C... It's Not What You Think

    {Image via www.ovca.com}

    This post will make you angry. This post will upset you to your core (at least I hope it will). This post will piss you off. But, most of all this post will open your eyes to everything I have been saying since BB's inception... Brides can be a real bitch! Seriously brideys, if you feel nothing after reading this, then you are in desperate need some help and fast! I feel passionately that this story will move you, and help put your world of wedding planning into PERSPECTIVE! And if it doesn't, then please... lose my number.

    After the Blogcademy in NYC a few weeks ago, I have adjusted my thinking. I have been trying to be more helpful and still keep my edge. I have been trying to truly educate brides on how to be a better version of themselves through anecdotes, etc. But, for one moment, I need to regress. I need to rewind back to the BB that is going to swear like a damn trucker if I am going to do this story any justice. So please, bear with me.

    Recently, as I was about to dig into a decadent breakfast with a friend of mine in the industry, she told me a story so hideous about a bride-to-be that I could hardly enjoy my blueberry pancakes (and that's a pretty big deal for me). Actually... I completely lost my appetite. She told me the tale of a bride who made the decision not to work with her once she got wind of her cancer. Yes, my friend had cancer and amazingly enough was still able to balance her job at the fancy venue and go through the torture of chemotherapy. But, apparently this bride was "worried that the details of the wedding might get lost to due to her condition, and didn't want to take chance that it would take a toll on her work." I'll let you digest that...

    SERIOUSLY? WHAT. THE. FUCK? While I obviously understand the enormity of planning a wedding, and know that it is extremely important to have a competent manager executing the big day, it is also important to have some common fucking decency. If my friend felt as though she couldn't provide proper service or if her BOSS felt this way, then she would have stepped down voluntarily. But, not for this bridey bitch, for herself. So that she could take the time to adjust to her new reality, and get through it. And survive. 

    Brideys, thankfully my friend is in remission, but this story still haunts her. It reminds her of just how inconsiderate brides can be when something or someone might get in the way of their perfect day. But, the best part? Her cancer has taught her to brush off the bullshit of wedding planning, and truly enjoy the day with the brides that deserve her excellence.

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    Reader Comments (13)

    Stories like this make me sick too. It's one thing to acuse a planner for being distracted by thier personal struggle. It's another thing all together for a bride to say your situation might affect me so I'm going to have to let you go. Your friend sounds like the kind of planner that I and any bride should want to have. She cares so much about her clients, that she's going to be there all the way, even through chemo.

    November 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAbigail

    Such a bummer. I can understand her initial concern (a lot of money, it's a big day). I would be lying if that thought would not of crossed my own mind.

    I have a wedding planner friend who will be having a double mastectomy tomorrow due to breast cancer and then we get to wait to find out if she will need chemo. She was upfront with all her clients of her diagnosis a month ago and has put procedures into place that her business will carry on as she recoups. I think that's the most important thing.

    And yes, this bride sucks. Karma baby.

    November 7, 2012 | Unregistered Commentersaundra, event engineer

    Hey Abigail,

    Right? To let her go because of her cancer, and how it might effect her (the bride) is completely disgusting to me.

    And you are correct, this planner is quite special and frankly, the bride missed out on a true gem and amazing planning experience.

    Thank you for your comment!

    XO,
    BB

    November 7, 2012 | Registered CommenterBitchless Bride

    I should be thanking YOU for your blog! It's so entertaining and informative in a not-so-cookie cutter way. I LOVE IT!

    November 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAbigail

    Awww... Totally blushing Abigail! Thanks!!

    XO,
    BB

    November 7, 2012 | Registered CommenterBitchless Bride

    wow... that just makes me cringe - Im thinking your friend got blessed that she didnt have to work with that bride all the way through the wedding day (hate how the bride did it though - no class)

    glad your friend is in remission!

    November 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAddie

    Hey Addie,

    It was a blessing in disguise... Totally classless though. I'm glad too!

    Thanks for your comment!

    XO,
    BB

    November 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBitchless Bride

    I can't believe someone actually said this to someone with cancer. They're still the same wonderful person they were before the fact. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise. I could only imagine what other "requirements" that bride could have had. The fact that your friend is in remission makes this a wonderful post actually. That bride lost out and it's her own fault.

    November 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

    Good morning Amber,

    I know, right? WHO does that? WHO says that to somebody? It always amazes me just how blinded some brideys become during their wedding planning. The poor manager had CANCER, and this bitch was more concerned about how it was going to effect her and her plans...

    Anyway, thanks for the comment! And you're right... the silver lining? NOT having to work with her and her requirements!

    XO,
    BB

    November 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBitchless Bride

    Hey BB,

    Thanks for bringing this to light - I see it all the time! I have a very close florist friend that had cancer. She hired a very highly qualified floral designer to step in for her while she went through chemo. A bride's mom had the audacity to go into my friend's store to complain why she wasn't the one doing her daughter's wedding, and what she was going to do about it. Even though she knew my friend had cancer! Sickening. It's so so sad.

    November 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTammy

    Hey Tammy,

    That's just awful.

    That's right, her daughter's wedding is far more important than this poor woman's cancer. It's not like your friend "dumped" her. She was gracious enough to secure a highly qualified professional in her place.

    I hate that you see this all the time.

    Thank you for your comment!!

    XO,
    BB

    November 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBitchless Bride

    Several years ago, I helped out a photographer whose wife had passed away and went in his place to photograph a wedding (2 days after she passed, quite suddenly). He had called the couple and left a message for them letting them know a replacement photographer would be coming because of a death. When I arrived, the bride asked me why the photographer she had booked wasn't there. I told her that his wife had passed away, but that I was there to do her photos and his normal assistant, who had worked with the couple on their engagement shoot was there and we both had a great deal of experience. Her response? "Is the funeral today or something? I don't understand why he couldn't make it!"

    November 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCasey Fatchett

    Casey!

    SHUT UP!!! REALLY??? WOW! That bride is the big C, and I don't mean cancer... I can't even digest this without getting furious!

    I hope your thumb got in the way of her pictures... ;-)

    What a bridey bitch!!!

    XO,
    BB

    November 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBitchless Bride

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