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    Tips Are Appreciated, Not Expected... Unless You Tell Me I'm Getting One

    I've said this a million times before... Tipping is always appreciated, not expected. If you feel as though somebody has gone above and beyond for you, a tip is a nice way of expressing your appreciation. Gifts are nice too, but let’s be honest... money says it best!

    But here's the thing bridey, it's one thing not to tip. Fine. I get it. But, if you request the names and positions of the people who participated in making your day special (AHEAD OF TIME), and then don't follow through... Well, that's just bad form. And frankly, it's rude. Just like anything else in life, not following through really sucks. It leaves people feeling utterly disappointed and let down. Because they were expecting it. But, if people weren't expecting a lovely gesture like a tip, then they are not upset when they don't get one. However, when you go out of your way to ask for names and positions, and then decide not to tip, yeah... that sucks. And you know what that makes you? A bitch bride.

    Where is all of this coming from BB? 

    The other day I spoke to the manager at the venue of one of my more recent weddings (about two months ago) to check in, and to talk about a perspective bride interested in the space. We were talking about the usual stuff, gossiping and joking around, when I remembered the tips from the wedding. And because I just couldn't help myself (odd for me!), I asked the manager how much my bride had given her as a tip. Was it a nice, fat card? I definitely wasn't expecting her to say that she didn't get one. And you know what? It wasn't about the money. It was about the promise. 

    Some of you are probably thinking that maybe the bride didn't tip because the venue or the service was just average. Or maybe she was unhappy with particular aspects of the day. WRONG. This is a 5 star venue with 5 star service. Both the bride and the groom were raving at the end of the evening telling me how amazing everything was for them. So, this wasn't a service issue, it was an etiquette issue... the bride's etiquette.

    Brideys, I know that you have a lot on your plate before, during and after your wedding. But, it's important to follow through with what you promised... Like, just as it is important for the venue and your vendors to follow through on what was promised to you. So, if you say you're going to tip, then please, do it. Not because it's expected, but because it's the right thing to do. Got it?

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    Reader Comments (3)

    I agree completely. It is rare when it happens, but I have had people ask me what an appropriate amount for a tip is. I usually say, "Whatever you feel is appropriate! It's a tip!" It is completely unnecessary, but if you feel that you got extraordinary service and want to show a little gratitude - great. However, once you inquire about who and how much to tip, it shows that you are planning on it. Then by not tipping, you show that it is not that important. Which is rude. It is not about the money at all.

    I will not say that is has never happened to me, it is EXTREMELY RARE that someone has asked about a tip and not given one, but the worst case I saw of this was a bride who asked me how much she should tip (not just for me, my associate photographer, and my assistant, but for the other vendors) and then not only didn't tip but did not pay her balance.

    November 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCasey Fatchett

    What a total bitch! It's one thing not to tip but to go through the trouble of asking and setting expectations and then not do it. That is really rude.

    I am getting married in December and I am so pleased with the venue. I was blessed with an awesome coordinator and the food is delicious. I have already rearranged my budget to include tipping the coordinator and the chef.

    I wanted to also say that your blog has makes me laugh every single day. Thank you for that. It has made my planning a lot more fun. And knowing that I am not an awful bride like the ones you write about makes me feel better!

    November 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCassandra

    Hey Cassandra,

    So proud of you! You done well my friend... budgeting in tips is a great way to make sure you are prepared, and appreciative. Chef's often get left out of the tipping process, so I'm impressed that you factored it in!

    Thanks for your comment! SO glad I could make your wedding planning process better with some humor and education.


    November 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBitchless Bride

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