It was the best of times, it was the worst of times… Unfortunately, some of your bridal party might feel this way after participating in your wedding. Don’t let this Charles Dickens mentality get the best of you! Brides, you must be clear with the friends and family you choose to be in your bridal party. Let them know what your expectations are at the beginning so that they have the opportunity to turn down your lovely offer, and sit with the rest of us in the pews if they are not willing to or do not want to live up to your dream.
Okay, stop being a bitch and listen… Think about it this way… You know when you don’t want to do something or you don’t understand how to do it, so you just don’t do it? Well, welcome to the psyche of about 95% of your bridesmaids (and I’m sorry to say, possibly even your maid of honor… aka: MOH). Depending on your age, your bridal party may be inexperienced, uninformed and probably doesn’t understand the enormous undertaking they signed up for when they eagerly accepted their role as your bridesmaid. I promise you, in most cases, it’s not that they don’t want to do all of those bridal things for you; it’s just that they don’t know how or even that they have such great responsibilities. That’s where you come in. Educate them. Be involved (but, not too involved), offer guidance and advice, but don’t overdo it. Remember, similarly to your fiancé, they cannot read your mind. So tell them that you were thinking Vegas or NYC for your bachelorette party, that you want a hotel bridal shower and that your MOH is to act as a liaison between you and your mother on your wedding day. Start kicking ass if they start to slack knowing your expectations, but not before.
Looking back (way back) into my early 20s, I am embarrassed to admit that I completely failed as a bridesmaid for one of my besties. She was among the first to get married and I was clueless. I actually missed her shower because I was hung over (not a proud moment), didn’t go to her bachelorette party (or even help to plan it) and only gave $100.00 for her wedding gift. And I call myself a planner…? Right? But, I had NO idea the immense responsibility I carried with that ugly dress. Had I known, I would have taken a seat with everybody else, or asked a few more questions about her expectations in the beginning.
So please, once you finally decide who gets to wear the dress, make your voice heard! Tell them what you want, and allow them to make it their choice if they are up for the task. Got it? Good. You’re welcome.