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    From Strapless to Fabulous

    Girls… sorry to say, but not all of you should wear a strapless dress on your wedding day. Yeah, yeah I know I’m a bitch, but listen to me! I am pro woman, and pro all of that shit, but truth be told, YOU will be at your best on your wedding day if you listen to your instincts (or to me). If those bridal boot camp classes never happened or if you didn’t lose the weight you wanted to before the big day, it’s okay… just be sure to get the right wedding dress for your figure. And if you’re at all uncomfortable with your weight, then odds are… it ain’t a strapless gown. Focus on a dress that accentuates the curves you LOVE about yourself. Your tiny waist or big beautiful butt… Because if you don’t, I can assure you that your energy will be wasted feeling self-conscience about those round shoulders or wobbly triceps. Nothing should get you down on your wedding day; certainly not something you have control over.

    Not to mention… you probably don’t realize it, but in the end you are actually creating a ton of extra work for your photographer. Huh? What do I mean? C’mon… you think you REALLY look that good in your proofs? You don’t…. That’s just the magic of Photoshop baby… Gets rid of the back cleavage, jiggly arms, etc. So don’t put yourself or your photographer through the agony of a strapless dress if it doesn’t suit you. If I’m totally honest (and as you know by now, I kinda can’t help that I don’t have a filter) I’d say that about 5% of my brides can actually wear a strapless dress and look incredible. They are the ones that work out all the time (even before they got engaged!), are naturally slight and have a grace to them that you can’t manufacture.

    Before you tell me to go fuck myself, I just need to say that I am not in that 5% either! I workout, but so not naturally slight (or graceful for that matter). On my wedding day I wore a cap sleeves (similar to the lace number below). So, do us all a favor, take a look at the pics we’ve posted courtesy of Angel Sanchez. There are some amazing options for us “healthier” looking girls… 


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    Reader Comments (19)

    Amen! I am so tired of seeing brides tugging at the tops of their wedding dresses through the entire ceremony and reception.

    April 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWedding Guest

    Wow! You are harsh. I am a heavier gal, and can't wait to wear my strapless dress. You are basically saying that only skinny girls look good in a strapless gown and I resent that.

    April 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterOffended

    I just have to say that I love that last dress! I want to wear it right now! I'm going wedding dress shopping this weekend and I can't wait!

    And, not for nothing, you're totally right. Hate to say it, but I was the maid of honor at my best friend's wedding, and all I could see during the ceremony was her flabby back. I know how horribly mean I sound right now, but was I really supposed to tell her I didn't think the dress was right for her? And as somebody else mentioned, she spent the whole night pulling it up. A halter dress or something like the ones you are showing are perfect for somebody who has a little meat on their bones.

    April 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRight On

    My husband and I actually refer to someone as "back cleavage" around the house. He can never remember her name but remembers that she looked terrible in her wedding dress! You go BITCHLESS! Tell it like it is.

    April 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWedding Guest

    As a wedding photographer, I can't tell you how many times I've seen people in strapless gowns that really shouldn't be in them. Not just brides, but bridesmaids too. Until recently, that was *all* you could find in the stores though! I'm SO glad that the designers are starting to come out with other options again!

    If a strapless dress is properly altered to fit, it will normally stay up. Until you dance. But if your strapless dress causes back fat cleavage, chicken wings, or anything else? It is probably a good idea to look at other dresses. Pick what flatters you the most!

    April 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChristine

    While people may resist, a strapless neckline is still the most universally flattering on all figures. If a gown is made well, and to your size, you should not have back cleavage or need to tug on it. Most nice gowns have built in bustiers to support your gown from your waist, holding it up with boning.
    I personally think that a lot of women try to hide their upper arms in sleeves and end up only drawing more attention to an area they don't like with wrinkles and bunches of fabric.
    But of course, the important thing is for the bride to feel beautiful, so she can wear whatever she likes! Good picks from Angel Sanchez!

    April 17, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterstella

    Thank you for showing the pictures so these idiotic 95% of the Brides can see what we exactly mean what it is to look flattering and not have back fat and flabby arms, and boob fat hanging out of the $10,000 dress they just bought! We are not liars..we love our Profession, we sincerely want you to look stunning on your wedding day..too bad you are too stupid to listen ..oh by the way, the $10,000 you just wasted came in handy for my trip to Europe I have been longing to take because I haven't had a vacation in 5 years..stupid!

    May 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLola

    I love your post and your lovely dresses! I want to add..if you recently had a BOOB JOB and you were a 32A and now a 34 DDDDDDD, yes, I know you WERE a size 4 at ONE time..at least from the BOOBS down sweetie! A size 4 is no longer your size..at least not when it comes to your BOOBS. Did it ever occur to your stupid vain mind that when your BOOB JOB is completed your bust size will also change your clothing size??? Don't drive me nuts or my staff nuts..accept the fact you have to order a size 22 in a wedding gown to fit your damn BOOBS, and pay $500-$1000 to alter your damn wedding dress. Another thing..forget that strapless wedding gown you have been dreaming about unless you go back to your plastic surgeon and have those basket balls removed to a more realistic size if you can't part with them. Don't want to do it..I really don't give a shit...!

    May 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

    Well...quite frankly, I don't give two shits what anyone but my new husband thinks! And he ain't gonna be looking at my armpit fat, I guarantee it.

    September 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteranne

    Hey Anne!

    Good for you! As long as you're both happy and confident, then fuck the rest, and enjoy your wedding and afterward ;-)!!

    Thanks for your comment!


    September 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBitchless Bride

    As a photographer, I can honestly say - there is nothing that makes me sadder than seeing a buxom bride who is constantly having to hoist up her dress, falling out of the top, or the dreaded "side cleavage" situation.

    Sleeves are beautiful, super flattering, and keep your dress up. Those things are heavy - you don't want to have to constantly be tugging at it. Plus everyone has a strapless dress - *yawn* - do something uniquely YOU!

    September 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChristine

    Hey Christine,

    I am clapping at my desk! I totally agree with everything you stated in your comment! From the "side cleavage" to the back cleavage, to the tugging and the hoisting... oh, and falling out is always attractive on your wedding day!

    And not for nothing... Just LOOK at the amazing pics above (via Angel Sanchez)!!! There is so much you can choose from that will have you looking gorgeous and feeling confident without tugging at your dress all night...

    Thanks for your comment and honesty!


    September 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBitchless Bride

    Did you see the Jezebel post? http://jezebel.com/5911457/strapless-wedding-dresses-we-are-on-to-your-bullshit

    In that same vein, when I found "the dress" before I would order it I made sure that sleeves could be added,(Cinderella had sleeves god damn it, and so would I) that I met the seamstress and it would work and she did, it was awesome and the week before my wedding when I was giddily trying on the final product there was a bride who had ordered a dress 2 sizes too small because she "knew' she was going to lose the weight (umm, WTF?!) and also was complaining about her arms. Honey, you knew what your arms looked like in that dress when you ordered it. She had to spend an additional $600 to get the dress altered which was not in her budget and she was a wreck about the dress. I was an emotional yo yo the day of, but when i put the dress on...was a moment I will always cherish.

    September 14, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterwyngrrrl

    I 100% agree, As an over 40 bride to be I am starting to watch say episodes of "Four Weddings" those women are a lot healthier than my size 8 and I would not wear a strapless. They just don't look good on bigger girls - and for those of you who don't care - I used to be a wedding photographer and can tell you I did a tone pf photoshopping to sell lots of pics. Sometimes it was just not worth it and you may end up with pics of what you really look like!

    March 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBridetoBe

    I know this is from a year ago - but amen! So sick of photos of big girls stuffed into strapless gowns. I am plus size myself and I still don't like seeing this. It looks horrible no matter how beautiful your face and hair are. To me, all I see is fat arms and sausage effect boobs and stomachs. Ladies, it is not attractive!!!

    I had a cap sleeve wedding dress and I had princess 3/4 length sleeves added to it. There are so many options out there. Plus size ladies...step away from the strapless dresses and outfits.

    March 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodi K.

    Dear would- be strapless brides,
    Despite what the magazines have showed you, and despite what you have been fantasizing about, strapless is for the very few who have no body fat, decent sized boobs, and a fabulous tailor.
    The fad has been going on for far too long, and far too many brides have been filmed yanking up their dresses, popping out of their dresses, spilling over their dresses, and more.
    Your photographer can spend hours photoshopping away back and underarm fat so you can look svelte and perfect. However, your film maker has 24-60 frames per second of hd media to cope with, and unless you are willing to pay 1000 bucks per minute for making you look perfect, front, back and side, - stay away from strapless, please!
    Seriously, girls, corsets are not comfortable to breathe in. Any dress with straps, sleeves, will stay up without inhibiting your breathing. Why suffer?. Why make your photographer and film maker suffer? Give up strapless in exchange for a perfect, breathable fit, and a worry free wedding dress.

    July 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

    This is so true!

    The sad thing is though that sooooooo many dresses are strapless and although you can get sleeves added, they're not always quite right looking either. Also, the magazines all have those 5%ers that look amazing in those numbers. I think many brides end up having their heart set on those because of that. Anything bigger than a B cup and you get the squished double boob (aka armpit muffin) or the shelf look (the boobs are resting on your dress not in your dress).

    The other option, the V-neck, also looks horrible on me leaving me with little options :(

    February 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJulia

    Wow. Fuck this noise. Wear what you feel good, happy and confident in, sleeves or no sleeves, and to hell with those who try to bring you down with their worthless opinions. It's your wedding day, not theirs. I'm a street size 18 and I will be wearing my sleeveless dress with pride. I bought a strapless dress, not because I felt I had to have one (and I actually intended to buy one with cap sleeves) but because it looked good. Not all bodies are the same and on some sleeves can actually make big arms look bigger, and necklines look wider.

    March 16, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKay

    I am actually one of the few who can pull of strapless, but for my wedding gown I wanted to get out of the floor and dance like a crazy woman without fear of anything slipping. Straps for me baby!

    October 2, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPat

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