Tuesday, June 5, 2012 in Grooms, Relationships, Timing Groomzilla
So you all know how BB feels about bridezillas, or at least asking if you are behaving like one, but one subject that often gets missed because “the industry” is so wrapped up with the bride, is the groom. And grooms can behave badly too. In fact, on the day of the wedding, sometimes it’s the GROOM who can be the pain in the ass of any wedding planner, venue manager, or caterer. And as we state in our post for OneWed today, the groom may have a good reason… he’s lost. He doesn’t know where he’s supposed to go and when he’s supposed to go there because you, bridey’s, have not shared the timeline of events with him.
And while my pal “Christian” from our recent Fifty Shades of Red post was a total dick, this is different. “Christian” was born a dick and his behavior was consistent throughout. What we have here is a completely different kind of animal, because THIS groom has been relatively easy during the planning process. He has been supportive, nice and usually a perfect gentleman. But today, his wedding day, he is a total fucking d-bag GROOMZILLA. He is snapping at everybody, barking orders, and is suddenly very concerned about the cake cutting. WHAAAAA? It doesn’t make any sense, right? But, most of us don’t make a whole lot of sense when we feel vulnerable. And when you don’t know where to go on the most important day of your life, you’re pretty fucking vulnerable.
So, bridey’s, if your groom has been supportive of the wedding plans but not super involved in the planning, the lesson here, is to COMMUNICATE the details to him; even the not so fun ones like the logistics of the day. The dude needs to know where he is supposed to go and when he is supposed to be there (this is particularly important for the pictures and the ceremony). It’s not fair for you to be a bitch when he is panicking if YOU didn’t share the details. Got it? Good. So stop being a bitch and remember, communication is key!
Reader Comments (6)
You bring up such a good point. I am getting married in October, and I have been iniudating my fiancé with stuff about the wedding, but would not have thought about talking actual logistics with him. I am not working with a planner, but happen to be quite anal, so there will be a timeline (that I create), and I will be sure to give it to him so he knows where he's going. Thanks!!!
Hey Carrie,
Thanks for the comment, and you're welcome! Be anal enough to not only give him the timeline of events, but make sure he actually reads it (without being a nag... that'll come after you're already married!). Good luck!
XO,
BB
I can remember looking at my husband on our wedding day and getting nervous because he was such a train wreck. I thought it was because he was having second thoughts as I always tend to think the worst, but he was just confused. He told me later that he didn't know what he was supposed to do for most of the day. And after reading this post I am realizing that we didn't talk about a lot of what was going to be happening on the actual day.
Hi Robin,
First of all, I LOVE that you are married and reading the BB blog! You must have JUST gotten married if you are still reading up on this shit! HA!
Anyway, I've said it before and I will say it again, retrospect is a bitch! If you two had only sat down and gone through the wedding day events together, then you wouldn't have freaked when you saw him all nervous, and he wouldn't have been so coo coo. I guess you could say that together we are paying it forward...
XO,
BB
My man is probably going to be the opposite! He is so involved in the planning that I am going to need instructions from him when we finally get to our wedding day! I wish that he would give me a little room. Ugh! Great post for all of the other brides whose man isn't that involved with the planning.
OMG Keisha,
Consider yourself lucky! You might want to tell your fiancé to give you some space to do a few things on your own so that you blow up at him, but enjoy his grasp on the plans!
Either way, no matter who is doing the most of the planning, just be sure you discuss the details of the wedding day, your expectations, his expectations and of course where to be and when!
GOOD LUCK!
XO,
BB