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    Music and Lyrics

    Music and Lyrics... What can I say? I LOVE LOVE LOVE this stupid movie! And of course I LOVE Hugh Grant, but that’s not what I want to write about. However, this movie got me thinking about song lyrics, and about how many weddings have I worked and attended where the first dance music was about divorce, breaking up or death. Right? Oops! Yeah, that’s a serious fuck up.

    Hmmm… what songs are you talking about Bitchless? I’d sure like to avoid them on my big day. Well, bridey here a few popular first dance songs that could make you cry, and for all of the wrong reasons:

    1.“This Year’s Love” by David Gray:

    I mean, the first verse goes like this: “This years love had better last. Heaven knows it’s high time, and I’ve been waiting on my own too long. But when you hold me like you do, it feels so right. I start to forget how my heart gets torn. When that hurt gets thrown, feeling like you can’t go on.”

    a. OMG! He sounds like he is going to jump off of the nearest rooftop! "This years love had better last" or else I am going to kill myself?

    b. And next year's love? Same person?

    2.“Paperweight” by Joshua Radin:

    I LOVE this song, and everybody will tell you that it was from the movie “Dear John” because they are unoriginal, when actually it was in the “The Last Kiss” first. Just sayin’…

    Anyway, here are the first few lines: “Been up all night staring at you wondering what's on your mind. I've been this way with so many before, but this feels like the first time. You want the sunrise to go back to bed; I want to make you laugh. Mess up my bed with me. Kick off the covers I'm waiting. Every word you say I think I should write down, I don't want to forget come daylight.”

    a. First of all, don’t talk about messing up your bed with dirty sex in front of your parents.

    b. Secondly, “Every word you say I think I should write down, I don't want to forget come daylight.”  Because that paperweight ain’t heavy enough to keep you in my messy bed for more than a night.

    3. “True Love Will Find you in the End” by Beck or Wilco:

    a. Not gonna harp on this too much…All I need ask… True love will find you in the end of what?

    Brideys, no matter what you end up choosing, make sure that it truly encompasses who you are as a couple. But no matter what, make sure that it’s appropriate, celebratory music. Not music reserved for drowning your sadness in a bottle whiskey at some bar somewhere. Okay? How about a few of these? 

    They are completely obvious choices, but totally appropriate (I’ll put a star next to my faves):

    1. “At Last” by Etta James – Totally obvious. Totally been done a million times, but still a lovely song.

    2. “Lucky” by Jason Mraz – Again, totally obvious, but still love it.

    3. “Wedding Dress” by Matt Nathanson – LOVE**

    4. “You Are The Best Thing” by Ray Lamontagne – Another of my faves**

    5. “Fly Me to the Moon” by Frank Sinatra – Somewhat obvious, and if you do this song, then please, take dance lessons! Frank wouldn’t want it any other way.

    6. “In My Life” by the Beatles – This is a great song. It’s nice for a wedding, but it will always remind me of a montage during a mitzvah.

    7. “Marry Me” by Train – Do I even have to say it? But, it is lovely (and corny).

    8. “God Gave Me You” by Blake Shelton – I know this will surprise you, but BB is not much of a country song lover. That said, this nice for those of you who are. (And Blake is pretty easy on the eyes.)

    9. “It Had to be You” by Harry Connick Jr. – I love him, and although this song will always remind me of “When Harry Met Sally”, it’s still a fun first dance song.

    10. “Never My Love” by The Association – I do love this song… **

    11. "Grow Old with You" by Adam Sandler (Robbie Hart) - LOVE LOVE LOVE!! **


    BB wants to know... What is your first dance song? What was your first dance song?

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    Reader Comments (30)

    Ours was "At Last." It was 1999. Before it was cliche and used in a car commercial. Now as a planner, I see a lot of original choices, but some I feel are a bit too trendy and will seem dated later. I love "You're My Best Friend" by Queen. My new all-time fave.

    July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBeth B.

    Hey Beth,

    That's a GREAT song! I LOVE IT! Thank you for your comment, and for sharing a new possibility for a first dance song!


    July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBitchless Bride

    1) we chose "If the moon fell down" by Chase Coy and Colbie Caillat - I still can't get over how beautiful this song is. It's all about not knowing what the future will bring, but knowing how lucky you are in this moment to be with the one you love.
    2) we also had a last dance song as everyone piled out for our exit, it was "Hazy" by Rosie Golan. It does sound a little sad at first but when I listen to the lyrics it makes me think of two people growing old together and getting through rough times and continuing to support and love each other through it all.

    Also, if you don't like Country music, you should know that "God Gave Me You" was originally written and recorded by Christian singer Dave Barnes. You might like that version better.

    July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAshley {BlushLoveWed}

    Hey Ashley!

    Thank you for your comment and songs! Great info for brides to be! Also, thanks for the tip about "God Gave Me You". As a non-country kind of girl, I had no idea!


    July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBitchless Bride

    Love Barry White's "Can't Get Enough of Your Loving" - always well received and very uncommon.

    In 1987 my hubby and I danced to "Somebody" by Depeche Mode. (I want somebody to share. Share the rest of my life. Share my innermost thoughts. Know my intimate details. Someone who'll stand by my side ...) This year we hit #25!

    July 16, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterelisa | weditorial

    Hey Elisa,

    Another great suggestion! I just got happy THINKING about it!

    I totally LOVE that you danced to "Somebody" by DM! Yes, I know it, and all of the words for that matter. I was what they called "alternative" back in the day, and listened to music that was not the "norm" in my peer group. LOVE DM!!! And the Cure...


    July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBitchless Bride

    We didn't have a first dance but if we had it would have been either:

    1. "God Bless The Broken Road" (i.e. the ONLY good Rascal Flatts song) because the lyrics are so perfect for two older people who've "been there, done that".
    2. "Perfect" (Sara Evans) which was our recessional song because it talks about screwing the fairy tale romance and how the silly and boring parts of life are the best.

    July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCris of Kiss My Tulle

    Ugh, we are guilty of this. We picked Golden Age by Beck at the very last minute because we just could NOT agree on a song because we have COMPLETELY different musical tastes. The only artist we can agree on is Beck. So we ignored the lyrics (ya can't understand his mumbling anyway) and considered the wedding the beginning of our very own "Golden Age." Oh, and we requested only a minute be played but our DJ f-ed up and played the ENTIRE THREE MINUTES - longest three minutes of my life. (Side note - don't cheap out on your DJ brideys - you get what you pay for!)

    Hey Cris,

    Thank you for your song suggestions! LOVE THEM! Hey, older folks who've been there done that get to dance too (if they want).

    And I think that "Perfect" is perfect. Remember in "Good Will Hunting" when Robin Williams talks about how his wife farted in her sleep loud enough to wake up the dog? And since her death, THAT'S the shit he misses... not the perfect shit, the silly, stupid stuff that makes you know that you are with the right person. Even if it's because they fart in their sleep.


    July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBitchless Bride

    Hey Mindy,

    Oh no! You DO get what you pay for unfortunately... Sorry to hear that the DJ fucked up. Three minutes is a LONG time to be dancing (especially to Beck)!!!

    Thanks for your comment!


    July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBitchless Bride

    I can't remember what our first dance song was (how bad is that?) it was a non issue for us because we were far more worried about actually dancing (we looked like awkward middle schoolers before the hormones kicked in - yep, we're THAT white.) Anyway - what I wanted to say was a song I've heard at weddings and I think is totally not appropriate is that "Every breath you take" song by the Police. If you really listen to the lyrics, it's about being stalked, and that's so not sexy or romantic on any level. Just creepy.

    Found this: In a 1983 interview with the New Musical Express, Sting explained: "I think it's a nasty little song, really rather evil. It's about jealousy and surveillance and ownership." Regarding the common misinterpretation of the song, he added: "I think the ambiguity is intrinsic in the song however you treat it because the words are so sadistic. On one level, it's a nice long song with the classic relative minor chords, and underneath there's this distasteful character talking about watching every move. I enjoy that ambiguity. I watched Andy Gibb singing it with some girl on TV a couple of weeks ago, very loving, and totally misinterpreting it. (Laughter) I could still hear the words, which aren't about love at all. I pissed myself laughing."

    We danced to "Picture in a Frame" by Tom Waits. Slightly untraditional song choice but my husband said he was listening to that song when he first "knew" I was the one.

    One of my current favorites is "The Luckiest" by Ben Folds. Truly beautiful song!

    I walked down the aisle to The Watson Twin's cover of Just Like Heaven and our first dance was Islands In the Stream - because who doesn't love Dolly & Kenny?

    July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKristi

    Hey Sara, Heather & Kristi,

    THANK YOU for your comments!!!

    Sara, I'm totally DYING over here! That's hilarious!!!! Who wants to dance to stalker music??? HA! And you can't remember? That's even better!!!!

    Heather, LOVE "The Luckiest" by Ben Folds! In fact, I was trying to think of this song last night when I was writing the post! Thanks for the reminder! I love that you danced to the song when he "knew". If I did that, then it would have been "Please Don't Tell Her (that I Love Her)" by Big Head Todd and the Monsters!

    Kristi! Who DOESN'T love Dolly and Kenny? Great picks! And being a huge Cure fan, I love The Watson Twin's cover of "Just Like Heaven".

    THANKS ladies!


    July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBitchless Bride

    We are dancing to "So this is love" from the Disney's Cinderella. It actually has some meaning to us and it's very short!

    July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRose

    Hey Rose,

    That's fabulous! I just listened to it and not only is it the perfect amount of time, it's lovely!

    Thanks for your comment!


    July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBitchless Bride

    I write about this subject ALL the time! The worst is when someone chooses to dedicate "Wind Beneath My Wings" to a parent or sibling. Seriously people listen to the song, it's the most conceited, ridiculous thing ever. Unless you really are as famous as Bette Midler and are singing to your neglected friend, get over yourself! On a separate note, our first dance was to Swanee River (don't ask), but we did have "In My Life" as a ceremony song, because we were so old when we got married it seemed appropriate!

    July 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMarta (GigMasters)

    Ha! We were guilty of this too! We danced to Don Henley's "For my Wedding".

    First marriage for both, he is older, but we wanted to impart to our friends and family that it takes more than love and fairy tale romance to make a marriage work. We celebrated 11 years in April. Of course, with it being a military wedding and 98% of the uniformed men there being pilots, we couldn't pass up "You've lost that loving feeling"... EVERYONE danced to that one... =) It was a great day and we've had some not so great days since, but I do always think of Don Henley's words and am thankful of all we have! =)

    Thanks for keeping it real BB!

    Take Care,

    July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDiana


    I ALWAYS love your posts. You are funny and intelligent... AND I fucking hate "Wind Beneath My Wings"... BUT, that's a whole other story!

    Anyway, "In My Life" is a fave... Thank you for your comment, education and story!!


    July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBitchless Bride

    Hey Diana!

    Thank you for your comment and for the visual of handsome men in uniform dancing to "You've lost that loving feeling"!! LOVE IT!!!

    BTW... you hear that brideys? "It takes more than love and fairy tale romance to make a marriage work. "

    Congrats on 11 years Diana!!!


    July 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBitchless Bride

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