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    Wednesday
    Jul252012

    Will Your Wedding Planning End in Divorce? 

    Okay... too busy for the fluff today (like I ever sugar coat anything) so here it goes. I can't stand one of my brides to a point that has escalated well above my threshold. And although I am a thick-skinned, tough wedding planner, even I have my fucking limits. And sadly, I can't fire her because I am in way too deep and her wedding is way to close. 

    But really, this bitch has a serious case of BRIDALDEMIA, and I am over it! SERIOUSLY, I have no idea how this awesome, great looking, smart and totally cool guy is marrying this woman. Am I missing something? I just don't get it. But most of all, as I have mentioned previously, I don' know how I, Bitchless Bride, missed the signs of this demonic, bitchass bride. I guess that even the best of us misjudge people, but man... I am just about to lose it.

    Here is the kicker... You know what she asked me last night?

    "BB, do you think wedding planning is practice and preparation for marriage?"

    God I hope not. Because if it is, then we did all of this work for nothing. Because if YOUR wedding planning IS practice for YOUR marriage, then I know a great divorce attorney for you. Because you you failed... and miserably. 

    Look, I KNOW it's tough. I have done it long enough to know that it's not all fucking wedding cake and champagne, but it doesn't have to be passive aggressive, misery either. YOU are putting all of this... whatever "this" is, on yourself. So don't ask me to dig you out when you've had enough. It's really very simple. Listen to the people trying to help you, make yourself somewhat available for appointments, and make a few fucking decisions!

    Got it? 

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    Reader Comments (6)

    BB your blog gets me through the day. I feel sorry for you that you have to deal with these crazy brides, but at least you have a place to vent that is conducive and gives the rest of us some comic relief from the day.

    Thank you for your brutal honesty. I wouldn't be surprised if the census comes back and says that more people are eloping because they have visited your site!

    July 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTulip

    Oh Tulip,

    First of all, great name! Secondly, I am so glad you are enjoying the blog! It actually does make me feel better knowing that somebody is benefiting from the shit I encounter on a daily basis. Hopefully it will prevent brides from behaving like a diva bitch during the planning process.

    At least I know that I am making a contribution... Little as it may be...

    Thanks for your comment and encouragement!

    XO,
    BB

    July 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBitchless Bride

    I totally understand about misjudging a bride ~ I had this sweet, nice little bride whose fiancé was military and not around for most of the planning. We spent a lot of time together planning her wedding because most of her friends & family were far flung and she had moved to be close to him. It seemed we had a lot in common, agreed on most things and had a lot of fun planning (*warning bells*). I hate to say it, I even thought at one point we might be friends after the Big Day, we got on so well. Well, forward to week of and bridey slowly started becoming a bitch. It was barely noticeable at first and I thought maybe I was misinterpreting things she was saying and doing, but the more friends and family that showed up, the bigger the bitch she became and it was definitely noticeable. She was an absolute snob at her rehearsal, acted like she barely knew me and made snide remarks to her friends, and you'd think at her wedding that I was the one who had picked out the venue, the food, the colors, and that she wasn't happy with any of it (it was all her choices, I just showed her what could be done in many meetings and consultations).
    Turns out the hubby was a good ol' West Virginia boy and that his 8 brothers had maybe a headful of teeth between them, Mama was wearing her purtiest WalMart dress, and PaPa had his new short sleeve button down and tie from his wedding ~ and her and her bridesmaids and family were all Maryland snobs and Ivy League educated (the girls all sang a sorority song to her as a surprise). The most sophisticated of the groom's entourage were his Army buddies ... and that ain't saying much (we're not talking West Point candidates, we're talking 'join the Army to get out of your little town'). You do have to admire her for having the cajones to step out of the group she was associated with to marry for love (control?). Once I figured out her source of stress, I just sat back and laughed my ass off and had so much fun thinking evil thoughts about her committed life and poking the bear by making sure the two groups really really mingled. It's the best time I've ever had, watching the most awkward situation one could imagine.

    July 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

    OMG Jennifer!!!

    DYING over this comment! Partially because I feel bad for you, and partially because I've TOTALLY been there! Going about your business thinking that you have the perfect bride, life is good and then suddenly she takes a turn for the absolute worst!

    It really sucks. It sucks because then you start to doubt your instincts. Like, how the fuck did I miss this?? But, no matter what... at least you were able to get a good laugh out of the sorority girl marrying hillbilly wedding! Needless to say, this chick is in for a huge wake up call, and so is the groom!

    PS- Was on the floor when you said, "...hubby was a good ol' West Virginia boy and that his 8 brothers had maybe a headful of teeth between them, Mama was wearing her purtiest WalMart dress, and PaPa had his new short sleeve button down and tie from his wedding."

    Thanks for the comment and the great story!

    XO,
    BB

    July 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBitchless Bride

    Just found this site today, and I can't wait to get lost in the archives. Have you seen this, btw? http://doyoutakethisbitch.tumblr.com/

    July 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNicole

    Hey Nicole!

    Get lost baby! Enjoy!!! And no... but I likey.... Thanks for tip! I'll go read! It's got a nice vibe to it!

    XO,
    BB

    July 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBitchless Bride

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