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    Tuesday
    Jul312012

    Practice Makes Perfect?

    I can’t seem to get a conversation I had with one of my grooms out of my head, so I thought I’d share it with you. And brideys, you might want to sit down for this one because I’m guessing that this might hit a nerve… 

    A few weeks ago I was meeting with a lovely young couple (like 25 years old young) getting married next spring. And after we finished discussing the details, the bride excused herself to “go pee”. When I looked up from my notes, I seriously thought the groom was going to lean in for a kiss because he was practically on top of me. It took me a second to realize that he had moved closer to me (obviously) not because he wanted to kiss me (which is a good thing because he is damn good looking, and I’m not sure I would have had the willpower to resist those plump, tasty… well, you get it…), but because he needed to say what he needed to say, and then pretend he never said it.

    “Can you talk to her please?” he pleaded.

    “Uh… sure. About?” I answered.

    “All she talks about is this fucking wedding. And I’m excited too, but I honestly don’t remember what life was like before the engagement. And it’s killing me.” He said.

    I went to respond, but he quickly cut me off…

    “ALL I wanted for my 25th birthday was one day that was free of wedding discussion. Free of decision-making. Free of everything wedding. We aren’t even getting married until next fucking spring! And she promised me she’d let it go for the day.”

     This was shockingly passionate for this mute groom. “Okay.” I said

    “And you know what my fucking gift was? A tux. Yeah. For the wedding.” He spat.

    Oh, that’s right… a tux. Isn’t that just what every 25-year-old wants for his birthday? Holy shit. This poor guy…

    “I’ll talk to her.” I said trying to figure out how to break the news to the bride that if she didn’t ease up, she was going to lose him.

    “Hey (hot groom),” I said. “A wise soul once told me that wedding planning is practice for marriage. If you can get through the rollercoaster of planning it, then you’re off to a great start.” I offered.  

    “I can see that. But, please… still talk to her.” He said as he moved back to his seat.

    When the bride returned from the bathroom, she asked, “What’d I miss?” And it was all I could do not to say that her fiancé almost kissed me.

    Brideys, this is important advice. Don’t forget who you are as a couple during your wedding planning. Be sure to have “wedding-free” weekends where you don’t do anything that is wedding related. Go out to dinner and drinks! Get drunk! But, no matter what, turn the wedding planning mode to “off” or else you might be at risk of never making it down the aisle.

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    Reader Comments (4)

    I don't really get this. I never became obsessed with the wedding, I'm more obsessed with other people's weddings (hello, blogger) than my own. I hope you can make that bride realize that her relationship is a lot more important than that one day.

    August 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAshley {BlushLoveWed}

    Hey Ashley,

    I completely understand... I have definitely worked with brides who become obsessed with the planning, and the grooms get annoyed, but this is the first time it's happened quite so early in the planning process.

    I've eased my way into "coaching" her about incorporating "life" back into her life, but I have learned that I have to take it slow with these kinds of brides...

    I'll keep you posted!

    XO,
    BB

    August 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBitchless Bride

    I can completely see this! I had a tendancy in the beginning of our planning to get a little carried away, but I eased off. Then is became HIS mother who became and is STILL, 8 weeks out, more obsessed with the planning and the wedding than me and my mother combined! It has driven me up the wall, so much so that I even questioned whether or not I really wanted to marry him! I ended up talking to him about his mom, and he felt the same way. So we had to become a united front with her about NOT talking about the wedding every single time we saw her or talked to her. It's enough that I have to talk to her every single day, about napkins, or bride and groom toilet paper (yes fucking bride and groom toilet paper) and other mundane crap she wants for the wedding that MY family is paying for-we don't want the rest of the family to be over it as well! I definitely agree it is kind of like practice, because it has been at times for me an emotional roller coaster ride and my poor hubby to be has seen some mood swings and tantrums, that I bet he never thought he'd see! So I agree, this groom should have talked to her himself and let her know that he was excited yes, but he didn't want it to be the only thing consuming their lives!

    August 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPattie

    Pattie,

    I might love you. You just brought up a HUGE piece of being in a relationship that often gets missed when you said:

    " I definitely agree it is kind of like practice, because it has been at times for me an emotional roller coaster ride and my poor hubby to be has seen some mood swings and tantrums, that I bet he never thought he'd see!"

    There are things we don't always want our sig other to see, and that said, we don't always get to see how our sig other deals with said in situations... So yes, it's all very good practice for being married.

    Thanks for your comment!

    XO,
    BB

    August 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBitchless Bride

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