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    Monday
    Aug272012

    California Girls We're Undeniable 

    Story submitted and written by Broke Bridesmaid

    Yeah, I will never, ever be in another wedding, ever again.

    I had a friend, who lived in NY. I'm a Cali girl myself, but we got along so great that I thought we really did share similar views on life. When she asked me to be in her wedding in NY, I was actually excited.

    I learned quickly... 50+ emails a day between all the bridesmaids. EVERY DAY. For TWO YEARS. If a bridesmaid didn't respond quickly enough to the bride's taste, guess who was asked to step in? That's right, me. Because I was the furthest one away, so the bride figured I wouldn't care if the other bridesmaids didn't like me.

    I was REQUIRED to attend four events as a bridesmaid. Now, I know usually there is a little accommodation made for the out-of-town bridesmaids, and I assumed a little bit of that would make its way to me. After all, plane tickets to NY from CA aren't cheap, and multiply that cost by four. First, it was her engagement party, and then it was the Tiffany's themed bridal shower, and then the bachelorette party in Maryland, then, finally, the big day. I balked. I'll tell you that right now. I asked her to please think about the fact that most people can't afford to fly out to NY four times in one year for a wedding, and that I would be happy to attend one event of her choosing and then the wedding. She almost threw me out of her bridal party for that. Can't say I would have complained at that point. 

    As I started getting more and more worn out from the constant demands and drama from the bride, I began tallying up the costs to be in her wedding. Between dress, shoes, required professional hair and make up, hotels, food, transportation, completing the projects she was mailing to me, I had already spent over $2000. And that was not even including the PLANE TICKETS. Talk about not respecting your bridal party.

    I sucked it all up. Yup. Not proud of it, but I did. I was probably the happiest person alive when the wedding day came around, because that meant it was finally OVER and I was FREE... I felt like I was shaking off an abusive ex at that point, seriously it was the same exact feeling. I managed to enjoy myself at the wedding, even!

    Fast forward to the next morning. I had bought a couple gift cards for the registry, but had accidently left them at home in CA (was a little focused on grabbing the bridesmaid dress, packing party favors that the bride requested, etc.) and so I was planning to mail them to her once I got back home. Not shit, it was literally 10am the day after her wedding, when she was supposed to be going on her honeymoon, I receive this text, "Hey! I can't find any gift cards from you! Did you mean to give them to me later?" 

    I mean, who does that?! Who counts their presents the DAY after the wedding, on the way to the honeymoon, and tracks down the wayward guests to ask them where their present is? Bitch, I've dropped $6000+ on your GODDAMN STUPID DAY and you want to know where my fucking $200 gift card is?!!!! 

    So, I 'accidently' kept forgetting to send the gift cards to her after I got back home. She only texted me twice after that, to ask where the cards were. One day, after I'd had a glass of wine and was stewing about that whole incident, I pulled out the cards and said FUCK IT. I'M spending this shit. So I did.

    I no longer talk to her. We're still friends on FB, but only because we have too many mutual friends for me to delete her. She's one of those 'countdown queens', who enjoys a DAILY FB countdown. Since the wedding, she's been counting up, as in "Honey! We've been married for three months and four days! Can you believe it?! OMG!!"

    Let's just put it this way. This bitch was NOT the girl I originally became friends with. I absolutely REFUSE to ever deal with another materialistic, narcissistic brat again. When it comes my turn to get married, throw me in a car and drive me to Vegas!

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    Reader Comments (8)

    Oh my goodness, how did you get yourself in this deep in the first place? After the first set of plane tickets I would have hung up my bridesmaid tags, and told this bitch to suck it. I can't believe she wouldn't understand what a financial burden this process was for you. Blinders I tell you. Blinders, like the ones they put on horses. Good for you for spending the gift certificates! Hope you got something nice!

    August 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterScotland

    Hi Scotland,

    I think you might be on to something.... Fucking blinders! I am so sick of these brides who completely disregard the needs of their bridesmaids. I mean, these are the people you are asking to stand next to you as you exchange vows... Um, it's kinda a big deal... Brideys, you really want your girls hating you while you stand up at the alter together? Get your shit together and take off those fucking blinders!

    Thanks for your comment Scotland!

    XO,
    BB

    August 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBitchless Bride

    You should post this on your facebook page as a great article you just read. Chances are, she's too narcissistic to get it, but you might feel better.

    August 27, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterle sigh

    And then there is the other side of the coin where the bridesmaid does give the couple the gift, a nice gift at that, and she never hears from them again. Been there done that - at least I didn't have to attend 4 events, poor thing. I like le sigh's idea :)

    August 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJeans

    Hey Le Sigh & Jeans,

    LS, that is a GREAT idea! She should totally post it... Let's trick them all, and have every single bridesmaid to be post this on their FB page!

    Jeans, what a bitch... I hate hearing shit like that... Makes me so angry that these entitled brides get away with behaving so horribly especially to the people they have asked to be in their wedding! Grrrr....

    Thanks for your comments!

    XO,
    BB

    August 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBitchless Bride

    Ah~~~! Why sometimes do I feel so guilty and disgusted reading some of these posts? I pray pray PRAY that I'll never be like this. =.= It truly scares me. We're having a destination wedding and both fiance and I have been slowly sitting down with each of our wedding party members to discuss their budget and realistically determine what they can handle in regards to our wedding.

    For us, it's more important that they WANT to be there next to us on our wedding day than having them at all the little side events and gifts we might get out of it. :/ I've made it clear with my girls that I don't want a bachelorette party and that the bridal shower is something that should be what's easiest for them to plan. I don't understand these brides who dictate every aspect. It's jaw-dropping.

    I feel so bad for you, Broke Bridesmaid. We also have our wedding party wide-spread and we're centered in northern California (wedding will be in southern Cali). Fiance's brother and his family (him, his wife, and children are all part of our party) just got stationed in North Carolina. We made it clear to them from the beginning that we can at least help them out with their airfare (we do have our own budget to balance >.<;;) and we have addressed our other wedding party that we'll carpool with those that want to travel together and split the cost of two hotel suites for those that don't mind sharing.

    Again, if brides don't understand these things, it's jaw-dropping. I still can't believe yours was so inconsiderate. :(

    August 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLadydragon Queen

    Thank you guys for the support! I would love to post this as a link to my FB page, what a great idea! She's been posting memes for months that I know have been referring to me, and I just got sick of it. I thought that maybe after the wedding was over, she would go back to normal, but so far it's been all about her. I'm scared for when she has children!

    August 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBroke Bridesmaid

    Hey LDQ & Broke B,

    You both get it... LDQ, thank you for considering your friends, and what your wedding means to THEM. I am glad you get disgusted reading these posts; it means you are learning from them, and the fact that sometimes they repulse you is a GOOD thing!!

    Broke B, keep us posted. Thank you again for your story. And trust me (not to sound too cliche, but...) what goes around comes around. She'll get hers...

    XO,
    BB

    August 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBitchless Bride

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