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    Monday
    Aug062012

    Cast Off (kstôf, -f): One that Has Been Discarded

    So, maybe I woke up on the wrong side of the bed or maybe the "passionate kiss" cocktails I was sipping on last night made for a "hot mess" this morning, but either way I am feeling bitchy. But, no matter what mood I am in, the conversation last night got me all hot and bothered as I was mulling it over while sucking down my morning shot of espresso.

    You see, a little while ago, BB wrote a post called "Common Courtesy", all about respecting the guest, and based on the shit I was listening to last night, it appears as though you brideys are still not getting it. You're STILL having your weddings in 100 degree, temples, churches or barns without air-conditioning and not providing the proper provisions to your guests, or worst of all, your blinders are on so fucking tight that you can't even acknowledge a friend in need... And this bullshit story has me all riled up this Monday morning...

    Apparently one of you entitled, selfish, bitch-ass brideys was so intent on having the perfect day that you were completely insensitive to one of your besties standing up in your wedding. Yeah, one of your bridesmaids. This chick fell down a flight of stairs one week before the big day, was sporting a giant cast, and instead of showing her some compassion, you paraded your bridal party all over hell and back to get the perfect photos. And I have to give this girl credit... she didn't complain or utter a word of disdain for you. But, sadly, she was definitely in pain as she walked 18 miles (okay, slight exaggeration...) so you could get the perfect backdrop for your photos. And you know what? I HOPE her pain shows in your pictures. I hope her face is scrunched to bits so that every time you look at them you will be reminded of your selfishness. Because as a good friend (wedding day or not), you had a few options that you chose to ignore. For example... You could have found some great photo ops closer to the venue, given her the option to sit a few out, or even pulled up a chair and had some fun, but you didn't. 

    Seriously, this goes back to the basics girls. Be nice. Have some respect for the people around you who are supporting you and your decision to get married. This chick could have stayed home, but she didn't because it was important for her to stand, broken ankle and all, in your wedding. The least you could have done was to take care of her, but because it was YOUR day, you did what was best for you even at the expense of your friend. This shit makes me sick. 

    You are better than this story brideys. Take off your blinders on your wedding day. Enjoy it. Live it. Love it. And respect the people who are celebrating with you, because as I have said before, most people don't really want to be there in the first place...

    Thank you The Free Dictionary for the definition of cast off.

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    Reader Comments (5)

    As a photographer, let me just say that we don't give a rip about bridal party photos. This is not to say that we phone them in, but frankly if you have a large group of people, there's only so many ways you can pose them before it gets repetitive and boring. There's the standard "everybody line up" pose, and the artsy "casually staggered" pose, which is trying hard to look spontaneous but requires more posing than the standard line-up. I usually will do a couple informal shots of the girls and guys separately, and an individual of the bride with each attendant and same for the groom. After that, what the fuck do you want them to do? Build a pyramid?

    The photos I listed can be easily accomplished in 10-15 minutes, if it's at a location in the immediate area of the venue. It's the *people* that makes them important, not the location.

    We find it really stupid to drag the whole bridal party around from location to location to basically do "tourist" shots. Here's the bridal party lined up in front of X, and here they are in front of Y. Who the fuck cares? It's a waste of time.

    The longer it goes on, the drunker and sloppier the party gets and when it's time to do your couple portraits, you have 10-20 people catcalling and being obnoxious.

    The wise thing to do is keep the bridal party photos brief, and close to the venue so they can scamper off to cocktail hour. And believe it or not, maybe they would appreciate having 5 minutes to themselves to freshen up and muster up more enthusiasm for your Big Day. I'm not discounting the important of the bridal party photos....in fact I'm saying the subjects are more important than the backdrop, so the backdrop really doesn't matter. Save those epic locations for your couples portraits.

    The other benefit is that you'll be alone, so you can actually "get in the mood" to be photographed. It's hard to have a tender, beautiful moment when a bunch of drunk assholes are whistling at you from the limo. You can also move a lot faster if it's just you two and the photographer(s), which means you have time to do more epic locations and get more variety and poses. And also, this is one of the rare times of the day you and your husband will actually get a few minutes of relative "alone time" to let the day sink in.

    This post reminded me of a bride we had who actually was pissed that two of her bridemaids had the audacity to need breaks to breastfeed their infants. Like how dare they feed their babies on HER BIG DAY?

    (For the record, I absolutely detest the phrase "big day".)

    August 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMockstarPhotog

    Hey MockstarPhotog,

    THANK YOU for such a detailed and spot on comment! Right???? I particularly love this comment:

    "We find it really stupid to drag the whole bridal party around from location to location to basically do "tourist" shots. Here's the bridal party lined up in front of X, and here they are in front of Y. Who the fuck cares? It's a waste of time."

    Nobody gives a shit about the formal pics of the bridal party so why do you have to drag everybody around? Especially when this chick is wearing a fucking cast!!!!

    UGH! BTW... I am not a big fan of the phrase "big day" either... but how many other ways can we say it? HA!

    XO,
    BB

    August 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBitchless Bride

    I love you...that's it. Just SO glad someone keeps this shit REAL..for real!!

    Stay bitchy bitchless ;)

    August 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKathy

    Kathy!

    LOVE YOU TOO!!

    You just made my fucking day!

    XO,
    BB

    August 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBitchless Bride

    Thanks for keeping it real!

    August 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDenise

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