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    Thursday
    Sep132012

    Perspective is STILL a Bitch! 

    Listen, I am a fucking busy wedding planner, and it's fall wedding season so THIS bitch has got to keep it short... In a nutshell... Check yourself bridey, because it's really important to make sure that your expectations for your vendors, venue, wedding ring, vail... all the way down to your your wedding dress are in line with reality (ahem... your budget) during your wedding planning process. 

    I have exhausted myself talking about perspective, expectations, attitude and then some, but I am CONSTANTLY reminded from pretty much all of my colleagues in "the industry" that there is STILL a serious breakdown in communication between brides and vendors, and if you, bridey, don't articulate what you want, how much you are willing to pay and what you expect from your vendor, then... it's your problem if they don't deliver. Because some of you are just fucking crazy, and so are your expectations. So, it's best to get it all out from the start!

    Seriously, you should be talking about your dream, AND your budget during the initial meeting to see if the two are compatible. And if they aren't, then either go back to the drawing board or find a new vendor who is a better fit. But, please don't expect miracles if you can't pay for them. Because I am fucking over all of that... Got it? No? You don't? Then go read more about how I feel about your whinning over on the Huffington Post...

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    Reader Comments (7)

    Honestly, girl, I think you should consider a career change. (No I'm not lying.) I say this with utmost respect and understanding. I was a retail manager for years, and when my clients started driving me to the stress levels you are suffering, I knew it was time for me to get the hell out! Life is short! I was a difficult bride in 1979, didn't want to deal with vendors, didn't have a clue what was going on around me, how people were trying to please me but I didn't know what I wanted, because I was a stupid kid who just wanted to get married, didn't want a whole production. Now my daughter is experiencing the same thing, on steroids! Expectations have increased exponentially! Now in addition to invitations, we have to have "save the dates!" And the bridesmaid's tea when I married was just that, a tea hosted by my aunts and didn't involve extensive guest lists and favors and decor... and don't even get me started on the "morning after brunch!" But at least I found this site, so I can be aware that we aren't the only ones who aren't particularly enjoying the process! Misery loves company!

    September 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterClueless MOB

    Keep your job... sounds like you are one hell of a planner.

    Once you are in this industry it's damn near impossible to leave. It becomes a way of life, part of who you are. It's a package deal of fun/stressed/anxious brides, wonderful couples, difficult parents, and unrealistic expectations. It can be messy and complicated, but can also be highly rewarding.

    September 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLadyV

    Hey CMOB,

    You might be onto something... I'm not lying either...

    Trust me though, I am constantly putting myself in my brides' shoes, and I know that oftentimes what is construed as rude, is usually just ignorance to the industry. I get that, but in some cases, rude is just rude...

    So glad you found the site!! Read and learn C MOB!!! Feel free to submit any stories or comments!

    XO,
    BB

    September 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBitchless Bride

    LADY V!

    I will! Trust me... as I have said in many posts... I am in WAY TOO DEEP to get out now! And for all of the bitchass brideys out there, there are several who make my world lovely. Who make ME want to make THEIR world and wedding day lovely too...

    Stay strong Lady V! And thank you for your encouragement!

    XO,
    BB

    September 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBitchless Bride

    as a future bride i totally agree with this; but this is my problem if BB can advise. I found out yesterday that my salary has to be drastically reduced to secure our jobs, this will have a major impact on our already strict budget. I have arranged a meeting with our wedding co-ordinator at our venue (who by the way has been very sweet and helpful) to see of there are anything we can change to suit the revised budget. Im very nervous and anxious to have the conversation. Are we doing the right thing???

    September 14, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercas

    Yep, lack of communication cased a serious issue this past week in my store. The bride and groom was not on the same page and they dragged me into it.

    I've seen you rant about budget before, and I would have to say...these folks need to see reality. I'm asked all the time for a tailored or fitted look on the tuxedos, however they are not able or willing to pay for that look.

    Sorry your not going to look like the model in the catalog.

    September 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTuxedo Mask

    Heya BB!

    I totally agree with your post. We are on a tight budget and have been completely forth-coming during our vendor visits with our desires and budget restrictions.

    I'm not sure if it's just a local issue or a national one, but I've been finding vendors say they can accommodate what we want for our price, then come back with a quote that either has everything we want for a total _way_ out of our budget OR the quote is smack on with way less than they originally stated they could do.

    I've also had the experience where a vendor thought I was out of ear-shot and called me stingy. Yes, this really happened. I'm sorry that I won't let you talk me into the 7-tier, handmade fondant dahlias (of course, painted with edible 14K gold) covering the entire cake for only $27/piece, but seriously, _that's effing out of my budget_.

    After playing this game for months, I can understand why some not-as-cool-as-I brides could get a little bitchy.

    September 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaid-back Bridey

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