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    Thursday
    Sep062012

    Addicted to "Yes"

    My name is Bitchless Bride, and I am an enabler. I am am addicted to "yes". I am a "make it happen" kind of girl no matter what the consequences are later. I will make it happen right now because I can, and if for some reason the task is outside the realm of my capabilities, then I will do whatever is necessary to get the job done because I am addicted to "yes".

    Last night, I was lucky enough to share a few bevies with a fantastic, well known event planner. She and I have been friends for quite some time, and a few drinks into the evening we decided that we would make for terrible "just say no" advocates because we say "yes" to just about everything. You want to arrive at your ceremony on a fucking elephant, but the city is giving you shit about permits? No problem, I know a few people, I'll get it done. You're getting married at a historical landmark and want fucking pyrotechnics at your wedding? Done. Don't worry, I'll make it happen. You want chandeliers hanging from the sprinkler system? I got it. I have a friend at the fire department.

    Okay, perhaps a few slight exaggerations, but frankly not by much. And because she and I have basically grown up in an industry that doesn't recognize the word "no", we became addicts for "yes". And with our addiction came a new role as enabler. Because a lot of the time, we know you, bridey, are wrong, and we know that we should say "no", but we can't. It's like a drug. It's a need. And part of it is a personal challenge, and the other part is because we don't understand our peers in the industry who are even able to utter the word "no". I can't associate with them because they are not addicts. They don't understand my need for the high of "yessing" and succeeding. 

    But, just like addicts of a different nature, you have to hit bottom to achieve clarity. You have to "yes" to the point where you can only say "no". And it's fucking hard. And it's something we deal with every single day. Because no matter what the industry standard is, sometimes you just have to say "no... you're wrong... I can't help you with that." OUCH! 

    So brideys, please help us stop enabling you. Know that we have your best interests at heart even when it's time for us to say "no". Know that we are dying to say "yes", but we don't want to set either one of us up for failure because THAT my dear bridey, is not an option. Got it? 

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    Reader Comments (4)

    I love this post. As a bride, I am so grateful for my planner's ability to find things that I want to meet my budget, and even willing to give me discounts so I can still have those charger's I'm dying for... And being able to tell me, "No, Jamie, you can't let wish lanterns go at the country club... the homeowners would prefer their wooden shingles don't catch fire..."
    It's the little things like that, that make wedding planning so easy, and make me so thankful I have a rockin' team for my wedding day. (And I won't have a small lawsuit on my hands for torching houses!!)

    September 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJamie

    Oh Jamie,

    How I wish you were MY client! Sounds like you do have a great team, but a cool bride often helps make our job feel easy even when it's not...

    Congratulations!!!

    Thanks for your comment!

    XO,
    BB

    September 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBitchless Bride

    This just reminded me of something so funny. I was lucky enough to have my place of work gift the site of the wedding to us. The week before the wedding one of the family members asked me if we were prepared for anything- I'm an event planner for the winery- so I said that of course we were! Even knife fights? Umm, no I had not even imagined that my guests would have knife fights....but in the vein of yes, I prepared for it. Seriously.

    September 7, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterwyngrrrl

    Total enabler here, it's nice to hear I'm not alone. I really think I am a "yes" girl because I like the challenge. I like that I can/will do what others won't/can't. Maybe it's just my need to be loved, who knows. I'm just a girl that can't say no.

    September 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

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