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    Tuesday
    Jan152013

    Either Listen to Your Heart or Listen to Your Divorce Attorney!  

    Okay… The Truth Hurts Tuesday is back with a bang! Seriously brideys, I am not messing around today. Here’s the bottom line… If you are being taunted by that little voice inside your head, you know, the one that is saying something like, “Run, bridey, run! WHAT am I doing, and how do I get out of this?” then perhaps you should take a step back and listen to what the voice is trying to tell you. If it ain’t right, then don’t get married. Period. Because it’s a hell of a lot easier to call off the wedding before it takes place than to go through with it and settle for a life you don’t want. And I know it’s scary, bridey, and I know it’s embarrassing, but you know what’s much scarier than calling off a wedding? The realization that when the party is over, and all of the guests have gone home, that you just married to the wrong person.

    As a wedding planner I see a lot of shit. I mean, Bitchless Bride STARTED because of the craziness I see, and have to deal with way too often. But, the worst part for me and probably for any wedding planner? Is watching the couples who are clearly not meant for each other, spending a ton of time and money making decisions about the stupid linen and flowers, when the biggest decision they should be focusing on is if they are actually right for each other. It’s painful knowing that the couple you are working with aren’t going to make it… I mean, if I can see it, then why can’t they? Or, do they and they’re just to afraid to do something about it?

    Obviously, I am especially fired up today. The wedding industry is small, and the word on the street is that a couple I worked with recently is getting divorced; four months after they got married. And although we (industry peeps) all knew it was inevitable, I don’t think that any of us thought it was going to happen quite so soon. And not to sound completely selfish, but planning this wedding wasn’t particularly easy. It was a destination wedding, there were some seriously wacked family dynamics, and the bride was a super selfish, super self-important bitch. Thank goodness we all worked so hard on the details (she says sarcastically). Thank goodness all of US saw the signs, but the bride and groom missed them; or decided to miss them.

    Seriously brideys, people don’t change, so don’t expect your relationships to change either. Is your soon to be mother-in-law a giant pain in the ass; always causing complications between you and your man? Then she will always get the best of you. Is your man is extremely possessive? Then he will always be extremely possessive. And you know that thing you two always fight about? Yeah, that won’t change either. It will ALWAYS make its way into your next argument.

    Maybe it’s simpler than all of that. Perhaps you just aren’t positive about the man. But, one thing’s for sure, bridey, if you are already dealing with some fundamental problems or doubts, it’s not going to change and most likely it’ll probably escalate. So if it’s not something you can fix now, you will never fix it. And if sucks now, it will suck later.

    The moral of the story? Listen to your heart. Listen to that voice screaming its head off inside of you. Because I promise you, bridey, you are strong enough to make the right decision no matter how much it scares you. Got it?

     

    Do you feel stuck in a relationship you know isn't right for you? Maybe BB can help! Leave your story here!

    {Image via Hercampus.com}

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    Reader Comments (4)

    Amen! I firmly believe that when something doesn't sit quite right for a woman she needs to listen to her gut. Obviously, it could sit wrong for a guy, too, but it seems like women are just more in touch with this kind of thing.

    I used to do lots of pre-marital counseling and I always wondered whether vendors had opinions about their couples (you guys get to see a much more real dynamic than I think even counselors do). Obviously, none of the vendors I know would ever say what they think, but I can always trust BB to be honest :)

    January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

    Hey Marie!

    Thanks for your comment! I agree... I think women are MUCH more in touch with their feelings of doubt, etc. I just wish they would have the balls to do something about it before the wedding...

    Marie, I WISH that I could how I really felt about a couple in "real life". I'd be saving them a lot of pain, money and time... Not sure I'd still be in business though! Can you imagine? Bitchless Bride would totally say something, but THIS planner would lose SOME of her clients!!!

    XO,
    BB

    January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBitchless Bride

    If you're not having fun planning your wedding with your partner, SOMETHING'S WRONG! Yes, it can be hard work, and stressful, but if you've hired a wonderful planner, and you're squabbling over the colors, the in-laws, the guest list, turn your wedding plans into a fundraiser for a cause you believe in (assuming you are financially committed) and have a party doing something worthwhile.
    You can always plan a smaller wedding later (at a friend's home? in your home?
    on the beach? ) or event elope and enjoy a short, fun vacation.

    January 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

    As much as I feel like it is in your gut sometimes, sometimes it is just nerves! I mean this is a big decision and it should make you nervous and uneasy at times! I wouldn't want anyone cancelling something over pure wedding jitters. That goes to say that there definitely is that feeling that "this isn't right" and people need to recognize it. I think it's harder for people to realize they are going to be alone then to go into a marriage they know is going to end and that's why these weddings happen. its sad either way.

    February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDisneylandBride

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