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    Real Wedding Wednesday ~ This Bridey's Got Sauce...

    Sarah and Joel. Joel and Sarah. I love them. I love them together, and I love them individually. I love Sarah's birdcage veil, tattooed sleeve, purple hair and stunning wedding dress. At the same time, I love Joel's red hair, sexy beard and grey and cornflower blue tuxedo. But, most of all, bridey? I love the sparks I see when you put these two awesome individuals together. Seriously, they are definitely sparkalicious. And you know what else? So is their wedding.

    According to Nicki Hufford Photography, Sarah and Joel's wedding was chock full of color, love, humor and laughter. And the photographs don't lie... Scroll down, bridey, scroll down and not only will you see amazing photographs, but you'll also see what it means to have a wedding that is FAB and FUN! 

    Sarah's purple hair is rockin' my world! So understated, yet gorgeous at the same time.Have you ever seen clouds like that? I mean, other than in The Simpsons?Sand ceremony under a beautiful arch.L.O.V.E. This might be one of my favorite wedding photographs ever!Bhaaaaa! That's funny!Lovin' the humor! Clearly, this bridal party is having fun!

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    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ The Key to Understanding Your Food and Beverage Minimum

    “I just feel like they weren’t honest with me from the get-go.” Said my very pissed off bride. To clarify, “they” are the venue where she is getting married, and she feels “lied to” because she is “light years” away from the agreed upon food and beverage minimum (determined before I came into the picture) in her contract. The reason I want to make it clear that I wasn’t there for the food and beverage minimum discussion is because had I been at the initial site appointment with the venue, I would have intervened and clearly stated that while the food and beverage minimum is $30,000 (for example), it’s quite likely that she will exceed said minimum. Not only do you have to consider an additional 25-30% for gratuity and tax, but let’s take a look at the word minimum [min-uh-muhm], shall we? According to dictionary.com, the word minimum is “the least quantity or amount possible, assignable, allowable, or the like.” As in… BRIDEY, YOU WILL SPEND MORE THAN THE MINIMUM.

    Once she and I dissected the exact terms of the food and beverage minimum and then proceeded to trim her overall wedding budget, letting go of a few superfluous add-ons we had planned, she simmered down. But, then it dawned on me that perhaps she wasn’t the only bride who felt taken advantage of by the venue. And I understand it, bridey, I really do. Because I used to be the one selling the space!

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    Fantasy Friday ~ Destination New Orleans

    I seriously can't think of a better place for a destination wedding than New Orleans. I mean, it's unique, it's fabulous and there's shit to do! Your guests will totally enjoy your wedding, but when they are not celebrating with you, they can actually experience all that The Big Easy has to offer. Seriously, your guests can walk down the street eating a po-boy and drinking a Sazerac all while listening to live music. Pretty cool if you ask me! Go Chileen and Aaron! Nice choice! 

    Sooooo.... Aaron proposed with Chileen's great-grandmother’s ring on their 8 year anniversary in Maui. Not too shabby Aaron! How do you say "Will you marry me?" in Hawaiian? Well, it goes something like this, “e Mele ana ‘oe ia’u?”. But, why get married in New Orleans? Well, in 2008 Chileen and Aaron had vacationed there to celebrate Aaron’s 30th birthday, and they loved it! Actually, they loved it so much that when they got engaged they decided that their wedding HAD to be in NO!!! 

    Love the orange flowers on the shoes, but I cannot stop gazing at her great-grandma's ring!!Unbelievable! Stunning wedding dress and insanely FAB bouquet!I love how the bridal party is watching in the background!

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    Real Wedding Wednesday ~ Dark and Stormy with a Side of Corn

    Katie and Matiss had a simple and beautiful wedding on a private estate in Dover, FL. The stormy weather may have made some of your brideys nervous, but not Katie and Matiss! Instead, Katie and Matiss were able to grab some FAB shots using the ominous skies and cool corn fields as a kickass backdrop. I mean... Scroll down and see... REALLY COOL! And despite a bit of rain, they were able to have the ceremony outside and then celebrate later under the tent.

    Something super AWES? So, Matiss' parents and family couldn't be at the wedding. But, they were able to be present at the ceremony via Skype from their homeland of Russia! Now how fantastic is that? Right?? 

    Katie... That is one seriously sexy wedding dress. And you are OWNING it!  Matiss you are certainly one happy man. Super adorable!I love this chuppah/arch. Beautiful flowers and draping.A MAZ ING shot. Amazing! I love how Katie's veil is trailing behind her. 

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    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Quit Being an Order Taker! 

    Bridey, you’ve GOT to stop trying to please everybody! If you are an avid Bitchless Bride reader, then I’m hoping you are well on your way to sane, non-bitchy, non-entitled, wedding planning so please take this to heart, bridey. It’s YOUR wedding and the more you try to “look out” for your guests and/or over accommodate their needs, then your wedding becomes less and less about you and your sig other, and more about becoming an order taker. Seriously, you're one step away from asking, "Do you want fries with that?"

    And because being an order taker can be frustrating and exhausting here are five ways to STOP accommodating your guests without being a bitch. I know, how could you??

    1. I know it’s crazy, but it can even start with your wedding date. Right? There will always be somebody (you love) who can’t make it to your wedding because of whatever reason so set the precedence and choose the date that works for you! If you listened to everybody and took into account their schedules and their plans, then you’re left with nothing. Okay, maybe not nothing, but definitely not the most ideal wedding date. Getting married on a Tuesday in the fall doesn’t have the same ring to it as a Saturday in the fall now does it?

    2. Don’t put it out there. Don’t over promise. Don’t offer your guests too many choices. Tell them. This is what you are eating. These are your hotel accommodation options. This is the attire. And you know what? If they don’t like it, too fucking bad. They are adults, and therefore they can stay wherever they want and eat dinner before the wedding if they don’t like beef or fish (or if they are gluten free, celiac, can’t eat nuts, shellfish, dairy, sugar, cilantro, YOU NAME IT). See what I mean? You provided your guests some choices, and then it is up to them. I mean, there have been several occasions in which my hus and I decided to stay outside of the wedding block offered because we made a choice to do so.

    3. Just say “no”. C’mon, you say it to your sig other all the time! But, seriously, get in the habit of just saying “no” to particular guest requests if that’s not what you want. For instance, if a guest calls you and asks to bring her new boyfriend to the wedding…

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