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    Fantasy Friday ~ A Sophisticated, Intimate, Country Garden Wedding

    Brianna and Sam's wedding is probably among the most naturally beautiful weddings I've posted on Bitchless Bride. Photographer, Hilary Cam, said it best, "Picture a heritage house with chandeliers, lanterns and tulle contrasting with cascading sand dunes, dark enchanted forests, airy fern gullies and fields of yellow flowers and you have a glimpse of their spectacular wedding day. The wedding took place at Stanley Park an opulent historic house with a mood of elegance and refinement."

    Bridey, this wedding exudes the same style and grace that the B+G so clearly portray. A simple, soft elegance with a touch of panache. I love that the bride and her maid of honor (MOH) had their hands in several of the gorgeous details (OMG! Just wait until you see the cake!). So, enjoy this super elegant, super enchanting (great word) wedding... I did!

    HA! Such a fun photograph!Think this 'lil cutie is imagining what it will be like to be a bride one day?Brianna! You're stunning! Flawless makeup and beautiful hair! Seriously, one day, BB is going to become a redhead!Sam, you and the boys are quite dapper! LOVE the blue bow ties!Ring box with a side of jelly beans!WOW! Such a lovely venue and an amazing day!I can't... The flower headpiece and the one shoulder dress... She's just too adorable!The ceremony was set under a magnificent old fig tree, with lanterns filled with pink and peach roses swinging from the branches.So romantic! Sometimes I wonder if my hus can still lift me! OMG! You two wreak of love! Brianna, I'm loving the cuff!

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    Real Wedding Wednesday ~ "I Love You. How Many More Times do I Have to Say it?"

    I know you're probably like, "What the fuck is with the boombox?" Right? I was! Actually, if I'm honest, I was hoping they weren't using it for the ceremony music. And then, I was thinking about who still has a boombox, and why! Anyway... If you think about the title of the post and then scroll down a bit, you will understand the significance of the boombox. 

    I wish I had the opportunity to work with Marielle and David. I truly do. Because they get it. Like, really, really get it. Their wedding was a celebration for them, but about friends and family. No timeline, no fiasco, no bullshit. Just two people who love each other. PERIOD. Some cool shit they did? Well, a longtime friend became ordained and married them, in lieu of gifts they asked that their guests make donations to the charities of their choice, Marielle and David donated the left over food to those in need, all of the flowers from the wedding were donated to Random Act of Flowers, etc. etc. etc. Pretty amazing, right? 

    See the blue faces? Those pics were from their engagement session where they fought with super bright paint.Love your hair, Marielle! The style and the color!That place just looks cool, right?David! Totally love how you're looking at Marielle!HOLY SHIT! Right? If you don't get this, shame on you. David is holding the boombox (in question) above his head while the DJ played "In Your Eyes" just like Lloyd Dobler in "Say Anything"! Yup! Cocktails first! And, the B+G joined their guests.Um. Hi. I love pie.

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    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ FLASHBACK: Ten Things I Hate About "I Do"

    ***I'm posting this one again because it's one of my favorite Truth Hurts, and because I was recently reminded why people hate being in weddings (see number 6). Not to mention, it's some pretty awesome advice! Enjoy!***

    March 24, 2014:

    "Oh my God, you have the coolest job! I'm sure you could write a book about all of the stuff you see!" *wink* Since all of my non-wedding industry friends always seem to think that my job is nothing but rainbows and unicorns, I thought I would share ten things I hate about "I do". And since I'm not really into sugar coating, a few of these items may hit a nerve, so brideys, I suggest you listen up and learn from this instead of being offended. Because I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God. If used correctly, then what I am about to share with you can quite possibly change the entire course of your wedding, if not your life. Okay... a touch dramatic, but...

    1. Cheap brides. It's one thing if you don't have the money, and need to scale back. I totally get it!! But, cheap for the sake of being cheap is fucking annoying. I want you to remember something, bridey. You get what you pay for, and if you hire the cheapest vendor or nickel and dime the ones you hire to their breaking point, then most likely you will be disappointed with the outcome. If you're cheap with them, then odds are? They're going to be cheap with you.

    2. Two words. Dry weddings. WHAT the fuck? I have planned weddings of all different religions, backgrounds, etc., but imposing your personal tastes and/or beliefs on your guests is rude. At least have a cash bar (cringe) and make your guests pay for their booze. But, not offering it? Inconsiderate.

    3. Which leads me to my next point. Vegan weddings. REALLY? Enough! Be vegan! Be healthy! That's awesome, bridey, but pretty please with sugar on top, don't subject your guests to tofu if they aren't interested. Look, I have a lot of vegan friends, but when we're together they certainly don't impose their "stuff" onto me. So, please, bridey, don't do it at your wedding. If meat makes you ill, I totally get it. Just make it a lovely vegetarian wedding, and skip the vegan.

    4. Get a grip on your expectations. Drop the fairy tale act. You want magic? Then marry the right man. PERIOD. If you plan well, stay true to yourself (and your budget), and the rest will fall into place. And you know what that is? Magic!

    5. Please don't be rude to your fiancé, mother, father, sister, brother, event manager, florist, caterer, etc. in front of anybody else. Because it's painful. It's excruciating. It's uncomfortable. And it makes me want to punch you in the face. If you have an issue with any of the peeps mentioned above, then work it out privately and get off of your soapbox.

    6. Unflattering bridesmaids dresses. You heard me. UN FLATT ER ING! And for any of you who say "OMG, don't my girls look amazing?"... You're lying! Because that bottom heavy friend of yours in that stick-straight, super light dress is fucking miserable, and it shows!!

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    Fantasy Friday ~ The Bonneville Salt Flats, An Extreme Cake Smash and a BMX Biker

    Is that not the most incredible photograph you've ever seen? Looks 100% fake, but it's not. I know, right? Fucking fantastic! Heather and Ethen are standing on a section of the Bonneville Salt Flats that was completely covered in water making for such a beautiful pic, that it appears as though they were artificially placed! Totally looks like they are walking on water! WOW!

    Anyway... I can't get enough of this wedding. While the salt flats are really cool, so are the rest of the deets and the peeps. Heather is staggeringly beautiful (like STAG GER ING LY) and if Ethen looks familiar to you, there's good reason... MTV's Nitro Circus ring any bells? Yeah, dude's pretty awesome! Aside from the beauty and the talent, there is a cake smash so messy that it's almost shocking, and some serious dancing! Bridey, this is a FUN wedding... Take some notes and enjoy!

    Right. Stunning. And, doing her own hair!I totally need to buy that lipstick!Get the feeling that Ethen doesn't wear too many ties?How amazing is that?Favorite.Photograph.Ever.I love how he's checking her out!The front wheel isn't on the ground. Just sayin'.Walking on water??

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    Real Wedding Wednesday ~ A Green, Australian Wedding in a Trio of Teepees!!

    If this pic looks somewhat familiar, you're not hallucinating. In May 2014, I posted a kickass real wedding with fox cake toppers and fox related called, 'The Fantastic Mr. & Mrs. Fox'. That B+G (Kate and John) loved foxes, and it's also their last name. And while this bride and groom, Laura and Ryan, won't be rockin' Mr. and Mrs. Fox, they do rock among the coolest fucking weddings ever! The details are spectacular (check out the invitations below!), and the teepee? OMG! AWESOME! Who gets married in a teepee? Laura and Ryan do!

    As avid outdoor people, the ceremony was held in the heart of the Aussie bush while guests were serenaded with the lovely sounds of bellbirds that chimed in as the string trio played. I mean... Can you imagine? WOW! Laura said, "It was the most magical day of celebration surrounded by all the best things – the beauty of nature, our closest family and friends, great food and music and our love for each other." It really doesn't get much better than that, right? Right! Enjoy!

    So so so cute and unique!WOW! That bouquet is absolutely mesmerizing!Creepy awesome.There's a black cat in this pic. LOVE!Laura... You are breathtaking! I love your dress and the birdcage veil!I love how Hilary Cam sets the scene.Clever.Such a cutie! And, I love her dress too!Let's get out of here for a bit...

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