Recently, one of my brides asked, "BB, what do you look for in a bride?" Really, she did. And you know what? I was fucking floored. Because as an event planner, usually I am the one grilled with questions about my role in the wedding planning process, how my fees work, and basically, if I am worth it. So, to have the tables turned caught me a bit off guard. To be safe, I asked her exactly what she meant by "what do I look for in a bride" because, frankly, I didn't want to risk offending her if I put on my Bitchless Bride hat, and actually told her the truth. But when she said, "I want to keep my friends at the end of this thing..." I thought I would go big or go home. So here's what I told her:
1. Remember to stay true to yourself. Create the wedding that is right for you and your sig other and forget everything else. I say it all of the time, but it's worth repeating. Ignore the noise. Politely nod when you receive unsolicited advice and move on. I mean, if you actually took every piece of advice given to you during your engagement, then your wedding would literally be about everybody else except you (two)!!
2. Be kind. Be kind to your bridesmaids. Be kind to your family. Be kind to your vendors. Most of all? Be kind to your fiancé. Bridey, I can assure you that you will get so much more joy (and help for that matter) if you're kind those around you. Remember, talk is cheap. Actions speak louder than words. So show the people who are important to you that they are in fact important to you.
Let your bridesmaids off the hook. Give them a color and let them pick out their own dresses or throw a party for them as opposed to a bachelorette party.