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    Entries in Bridaldemia (6)

    Tuesday
    Apr192016

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ ***FLASHBACK*** Don't be a Bitch on Your Wedding Day! 6 Tips to Get Rid of the Bridey Bitch!

    I've written quite a bit about how to not be a bitch while planning your wedding, but it dawned on me that I haven't really touched on why it's so important not to be a bitch on your wedding day. Bridey, I think it's safe to say that your wedding day is filled with a tangled web of emotions; happiness, elation, excitement, fear, anxiety, etc.... All perfectly normal... And, sometimes when we're filled with that kind of emotion, it's easy to go one of two ways... Euphoria or bridaldemia, and it's up to you to choose the better of the two.

    The reason I'm mentioning this? Well, after an extremely busy weekend filled with two weddings, and everything you can think of in between, I realized that my very lovely brides each took on one of the two aforementioned emotions. And, frankly, I was shocked. Both were super detailed oriented, although easy to work with during the wedding planning (they must be avid readers of BB), and both had relatively supportive families. So, what made one bride go batshit crazy on her wedding day and one continue to be her fabulous self? THAT is a good fucking question!

    And while I don't have the answer, I can tell you who had a better wedding day experience. If you guessed bridey B, then you guessed right. Bridey B was relaxed and happy. She took in each and every moment of the day, totally let go of "wedding planning mode", and slipped into something much more comfortable, her wedding day. While Bridey A was argumentative with anybody who dared crossed her path. Honestly? It was strange; something I didn't see coming based on our planning experience.

    So, bridey, I got to thinking about what can we do to alleviate Bridey A from presenting herself on your wedding day, and here's what I came up with: 

    1. Alcohol. Just kidding!! Well, sort of... I hate to admit that it was the first thing that came to mind! However, if you are careful not to get piss drunk, then there is nothing wrong with a cocktail as you are getting ready to walk down the aisle. Just be sure to nourish yourself with delicious food and plenty of water, and surround yourself with your favorite ladies!

    2. Timing is everything. As a planner, I build a TON of extra time into the getting ready piece of the wedding day. I do this because inevitably there is always something (or someone) who will throw you off track, and there is nothing more stress inducing than being late. So, give yourself a lot of extra time.

    3. Breathe. Seriously. What's done is done, bridey, so freaking out about the details on the day of your wedding will get you nowhere. Simply relax and breathe. Remember, that at the end of the day (quite literally), you will have gotten married to the man (or woman) you are going to spend the rest of your life with, right? How awesome is that? YAHOO! So, don't allow your anxiety and nerves to win. It will show through in your photographs, and for what? Shit that won't matter...

    4. Let it go. Oh dear God. UGH! I just started singing that fucking song... But, perhaps Idina Menzel had a point. Bridey, you've got to let it go, and let yourself off of the hook. The wedding planning was the tough part, but it's over, and you made it! So, enjoy it! Be present because you deserve it! Take in each and every moment, because even though it took you a good year to plan this day, it will be over in a flash!

    5. Liaise. Huh? Pick your most dependable friend or family member, and have her be your liaison. Have her field the inevitable plethora of questions that arise (mostly stupid shit, but enough to cause some stress) on your wedding day. She can tell Aunt Stupid where she's supposed to be and when for photographs, not you. She can give her cell to the limo driver to call when he's ten minutes away... Etc., etc.... You get my point!

    6. Make it happen, bridey. Make yourself chill the fuck out. If you feel like you're spinning out of control, then slow your roll, grab the reins, and get your shit together. We've all had days where we refused to give into our panicked psyche, and pulled ourselves out of a rut. Right? So, do it, or forever hold your peace.

    Got it? Good! Stay Bitchless!!

    Image via Your Wedding Guide

    Tuesday
    Jan192016

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Which Came First, the Bride or the Bitch?

    Bridey, the timing of this article is not an accident. With stupid Valentine's Day just around the corner (not to mention the millions of girls who were engaged over the holidays), several once well-behaved girlfriends will turn into entitled, bitchy brides-to-be. I'm not quite sure where the transition from nice, sweet girlfriend to crazy, bitch bride (aka: Bridaldemia) takes place, but there is a serious fucking breakdown somewhere, and it needs to stop. And, I, Bitchless Bride, am determined to put an end to using your newly achieved bridal status as an excuse for shit behavior. 

    But, here's the thing? Which came first, the bride or the bitch? Seriously, did these new brides start off as bitches or were they given an excuse; a free pass to be a bitch simply for being a bride? Are the newly engaged (girls) just owning up to the expected behavior that society has justified? I was thinking about this the other day when I was engaged (forgive the pun) in a super awkward conversation with a woman who knows I don't like her. Of course, my mind immediately went to, "Damn, I bet she was a real beast while planning her wedding," but, then I immediately decided that she wasn't salvageable. I'm positive that she was a bitch from the get-go. And, some of you brides start off as bitches, but I find it hard to believe that all of you do!

    Let's talk more about this "expected behavior". I believe that it all starts innocently enough. Bridey, you're engaged! YAY! It's super exciting, and the beginning of a new stage in your life. But, with that stage comes uncertainty, and with uncertainty comes fear and stress. And, when the fear and stress kick in, the little girl inside of us begins to rage. And, that is when the bitch is cut loose. However, instead of putting a leash on that crazy bitch, she's celebrated. Right? I mean, there are fucking television shows which follow this crazy bitch around, just to see how rude she'll be to the next person in her path, and that makes it okay somehow. So, why cage the animal? Right? It's okay... She's a bride... Well, you know what? Fuck that!

    It reminds me of how I was when I was pregnant. I wasn't a bitch, but I was eating for 25. I swear, I was on the cupcake and mac-n-cheese diet (and it was awesome). I mean, wasn't that expected of me? I was creating a human being for Gods sake, and needed the endurance to make him strong, right? Wrong. In reality, all I really needed was an extra 300 calories a day (like a glass of whole milk), not a whole fucking cow! But, I was pregnant, and every time I turned around somebody was excusing my behavior. Similar to how we excuse the heinous behavior so many brides. But, my cupcake addiction was a hurdle that I had to overcome once I had the baby; I wasn't hurting anybody else except myself. But, as a bride behaving badly? You're actually hurting people. 

    I know it sounds dramatic, but it's true. Bridey, you have no idea how your behavior can change the course of somebody else's day, week, year or even life. I started Bitchless Bride because of how one bride made me feel. ONE BRIDE. That bitch made me question everything I had ever known professionally, and I worked with her for 16 months. SIXTEEN FUCKING MONTHS. And, based on the conversations I have had with other professionals in the wedding industry, I'm not alone. We have all had at least one bride who made us doubt how good we really are.

    So, bridey... Which bride are you going to be? Are you going to see what you can get away with because it's expected of you, or are you going to harness the bitch, and be kind? Surprisingly, it's your choice.

    Image via Wedding Bee

    Tuesday
    Apr142015

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Don't be a Bitch on Your Wedding Day! 6 Tips to Get Rid of the Bridey Bitch!

    I've written quite a bit about how to not be a bitch while planning your wedding, but it dawned on me that I haven't really touched on why it's so important not to be a bitch on your wedding day. Bridey, I think it's safe to say that your wedding day is filled with a tangled web of emotions; happiness, elation, excitement, fear, anxiety, etc.... All perfectly normal... And, sometimes when we're filled with that kind of emotion, it's easy to go one of two ways... Euphoria or bridaldemia, and it's up to you to choose the better of the two.

    The reason I'm mentioning this? Well, after an extremely busy weekend filled with two weddings, and everything you can think of in between, I realized that my very lovely brides each took on one of the two aforementioned emotions. And, frankly, I was shocked. Both were super detailed oriented, although easy to work with during the wedding planning (they must be avid readers of BB), and both had relatively supportive families. So, what made one bride go batshit crazy on her wedding day and one continue to be her fabulous self? THAT is a good fucking question!

    And while I don't have the answer, I can tell you who had a better wedding day experience. If you guessed bridey B, then you guessed right. Bridey B was relaxed and happy. She took in each and every moment of the day, totally let go of "wedding planning mode", and slipped into something much more comfortable, her wedding day. While Bridey A was argumentative with anybody who dared crossed her path. Honestly? It was strange; something I didn't see coming based on our planning experience.

    So, bridey, I got to thinking about what can we do to alleviate Bridey A from presenting herself on your wedding day, and here's what I came up with: 

    1. Alcohol. Just kidding!! Well, sort of... I hate to admit that it was the first thing that came to mind! However, if you are careful not to get piss drunk, then there is nothing wrong with a cocktail as you are getting ready to walk down the aisle. Just be sure to nourish yourself with delicious food and plenty of water, and surround yourself with your favorite ladies!

    2. Timing is everything. As a planner, I build a TON of extra time into the getting ready piece of the wedding day. I do this because inevitably there is always something (or someone) who will throw you off track, and there is nothing more stress inducing than being late. So, give yourself a lot of extra time.

    3. Breathe. Seriously. What's done is done, bridey, so freaking out about the details on the day of your wedding will get you nowhere. Simply relax and breathe. Remember, that at the end of the day (quite literally), you will have gotten married to the man (or woman) you are going to spend the rest of your life with, right? How awesome is that? YAHOO! So, don't allow your anxiety and nerves to win. It will show through in your photographs, and for what? Shit that won't matter...

    4. Let it go. Oh dear God. UGH! I just started singing that fucking song...

    Click to read more ...

    Tuesday
    Jan082013

    Happy Wife, Happy Life… Really?

    Doesn’t the phrase “happy wife, happy life” seem a bit archaic to you? Perhaps a bit chauvinistic? It’s like this phrase single-handedly justifies a certain crop of women to behave badly. It’s like; “Uh-oh husbands… if your wife is a miserable bitch then you will be too, so you better keep her happy at all costs.” And you know what? You probably will be a miserable husband if your wife is miserable, but it’s not your fault. Well, it’s not all your fault. It’s only your fault if you enable your wife’s bad behavior, and buy into the bullshit that she’s the only one who gets to be happy in your marriage.

    Click to read more ...

    Wednesday
    Jul252012

    Will Your Wedding Planning End in Divorce? 

    Okay... too busy for the fluff today (like I ever sugar coat anything) so here it goes. I can't stand one of my brides to a point that has escalated well above my threshold. And although I am a thick-skinned, tough wedding planner, even I have my fucking limits. And sadly, I can't fire her because I am in way too deep and her wedding is way to close. 

    Click to read more ...