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    Entries in Bride (22)


    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ FLASH BACK: Gynecologically Speaking

    ***I needed a good laugh today. Soooo... I thought I would share this post from 2011 not only because it's funny, but because it's educational too. And because my mom was probably the only one reading Bitchless Bride back then, I'm assuming that most of you probably haven't seen this masterpiece. Enjoy and learn, bridey!***

    December 22, 2011:

    So, I’m just sayin’… I know that we don’t talk about the amount of sex that everybody has on his or her honeymoon, but we should. I know that you will be busy relaxing and reminiscing about your perfect wedding day on that beautiful tropical island you have jetted off to, but you will also be busy getting busy too. So be proactive! Make an appointment with your gynecologist before your trip, and ask him/her to give you a script for a UTI infection (that you fill prior to your trip) to take with you. There is nothing worse then being away from home, especially in a foreign country, and having an issue “down there”. Better safe than sorry!

    And on that note… don’t forget to take your pills, insert your birth control, use a condom, etc. You don’t want to come back from your honeymoon with more then a tan.


    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ When the Bride Knows More Than Her Planner... REALLY??

    I had to share this vendor vent with you, bridey. And, I had to put it front and center because I think it's safe to say that pretty much every wedding planner I know gets frustrated when the bride (or the couple) thinks she knows more than her planner. It's irritating. It's annoying. It's fucking grounds for dropping you as a client. Seriously, bridey, don't bother hiring a wedding planner if you're going to challenge her/his every move. Do it yourself. Be a DIY bride, and I'm not talking about making your own centerpieces; I'm talking about planning your own damn wedding.

    Written by Mrs. Peacock:

    Hello! OK, so, I love your blog. As a planner, I feel like it should be required reading for all my brides and grooms. (Ahem... Me too!!) Thanks for giving us vendors a place to commiserate.

    Anyways, one of your posts - Bridey, Don't Go Away Mad, Just Go Away!, really resonated with me.

    Yes. So. Many. Times. Yes.

    How I wish I followed this advice and my own intuition with my last bride + groom. You know those couples who think that they know how to plan a wedding better than their planner does? They often go hand in hand with the my wedding has to look exactly like this million dollar wedding but at a tiny fraction of the price couple? And so often, throughout the planning, you know that these people are going to find reason to be upset about something, so what's the point in bending over backwards to try to make them happy? The type that treat you like you are their personal assistant that they have always wanted to have just to abuse? The ones who flat out refuse to listen to your (and all the other vendors!) skilled advice, and then when things don't go according to plan (just as you told them it would) precisely BECAUSE of their own ill advised choices, they berate you for it? Yeah, it was one of those couples.

    I knew I should've walked away in the early stages but I didn't because -and here's the kicker- they were friends of mine. Friends of mine who had hidden the entitled vicious privileged brat side of them very well over the years. Friends of mine who clearly viewed the roles of Bride and Groom as tyrannical King and Queen. And yes, I've learned my lesson working with friends now. But the point is, had I just walked away from what was clearly going to be a losing situation, I could've saved myself a lot of stress, time, heartache, and unfortunately, a friendship.

    - Mrs. Peacock


    Basically, bridey? If you hire a wedding planner, then it's up to you to decide to trust her/him. Make a conscious choice to trust her/him, just as you would with any other professional you hire in any other aspect of your life. If not, then plan it yourself.

    Image via Friar Tux Shop


    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Bitchless Bride's PSA #2... Be Pleasant While You Plan

    In October of 2013, I wrote a post called Bitchless Bride's PSA. It was all about how we as a society (both in "the industry" and outside of it) tend to let the assholes win. It's like, whoever makes the most noise gets the prize simply so that we can shut them up. And while, it still pisses me off that we are so quick to bend over for the dickhead who threatens the precious equilibrium, the other part of my PSA was to give more love and attention to those clients who actually deserve it. The clients who are lovely and respectful, but just need some help with the logistics or design of their wedding. So, today, I thought I would dive into who those people are, rather than focus on the assholes.

    Over the last few weeks, I have been lucky enough to have had lunch with a few fellow wedding planners, and as the conversation flowed (as it always does when you put two chatty women together), it came down to rooting for the underdog. Huh? The underdog? Yes!! The underdog, the nice bride (clearly, a bride who reads BB!). The chick who has kept the same persona since the day she hired us. The girl who sometimes starts her emails with, "I'm so sorry to be high maintenance, but...", although she is not high maintenance at all, or the one who feels badly about potentially being needy, but who isn't. Those girls!! "We" as planners, totally root for you! You are the ones we want to bend over backwards to help! You renew our love for what we do, and in a world of assholes, you have no idea how powerful your niceness is!

    I have been preaching this for years, bridey. YEARS! And, with each chatty conversation I have with my peers, it's so clear to me that I have been on to something. BE FUCKING NICE! I mean... It's something we all learned in kindergarten and seem to have forgotten as we have aged. Bridey, you will get so much more out of your wedding vendors (and people in general) if you're pleasant while you plan. And you know what? This is universal. Everybody I know feels the same fucking way. 

    Around the time I wrote Bitchless Bride's PSA, I had been re-reading a few posts from October 2012, and seriously felt sick. Because in 2012, I was absolutely writhing from the grips of a terrible client I had worked with for over 16 months. She was a fucking beast, and I should have fired her, but I was in way too deep... And, we (wedding planners), have all had one of those clients. The ones we totally bend over for, simply so that she will shut the fuck up, and go away for a bit. After the wedding, I was definitely questioning why I plan weddings for bitches who don't appreciate the hard work that goes into each event (hence why it is so important for the good ones to renew our love for our profession), and I vowed that I will never get in that deep again; that I would fire the next bitch who made me feel as though I am anything but her equal.

    Every single wedding planner I know has a story like mine, bridey. And it baffles me. Because, it's so much easier to get what you want (and even get a few things comped) simply by being pleasant while you plan... Got it?

    Image via vivanspace


    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ A Crazy, Drunk Groom, a Naked Bitch and a Cinco de Mayo Witch

    Let me start off by saying that our company must have some sort of magnet for the crazies.

    Crazy #1, "The Drunk Groom"

    Our company was hired by a bride and groom for their rental items. They requested delivery and set up the day before (nothing out of the ordinary). We arrived late afternoon the day before as promised with every item they rented. Set up was perfect, all good to go. Around 11:00pm that night, my phone rings. It's the groom. He's screaming that we were late and that the color is not at all what he wanted. It took us a while to actually make out what he was saying between the screams and slurred speech. My husband takes the phone and tries to explain that it is impossible for us to be late...everything was already set up and your wedding is tomorrow. And as far as the color, what are you talking about you saw the swatch beforehand. Somehow this man thought that it was going to look different in the room. He then demands that we switch out everything for a different color, which is impossible since it is now 11:30pm on a Friday. 

    We try to explain that this is the color they ordered, we even send pictures of our linen swatches to show him. This only infuriates him more; he claims that he wants my husband to go there right now so he can kick his ass. Yes, this man on the night before his wedding is trying to fight us. My husband tells him to calm down, he's getting married tomorrow, and everything they ordered is there and ready to be used. The groom goes ballistic saying "How dare you f***ing threaten me?! You piece of sh**! You scumbag! I'm going to find you RIGHT NOW!” My husband responded, "Ok then, see you soon." We never heard from him again. 

    The day after their wedding this man is supposed to be on his honeymoon (it was a destination wedding) enjoying his new bride, but no. He takes to the internet viciously bashing us everywhere he could, claiming the owner threatened him, we refused to help them, we were late to their wedding, and that everything was filthy. This was in 2012.

    It is now 2014 and the man continues to stalk our company. Every few months we will receive notifications that he is updating his review or publishing reviews on companies that he thinks are related to us. 

    Crazy #2, "Crazy Naked Bitch"

    We were hired by a woman for a party at her home.

    Click to read more ...


    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ REALLY? A Bride Ties a Baby to her Wedding Dress?

    OMG? WHAT the fuck? I had a whole other THT prepared (which you will see next Tuesday), but after I read this story on Buzzfeed, I literally dropped everything so that I could weigh in on this ridiculousness. Bridey, in case you missed it, check out this link. Yeah, apparently, the bride wanted her one month old baby girl to be part of the wedding ceremony; to be with her as she went down the aisle, so instead of I don't know, CARRYING her, she tied the baby to the train of her wedding dress, and dragged her down the aisle. Can I get an OMG, WHAT THE FUCK?! Right???

    Look, I'm not trying to be a hater. You know that's not how I roll. In fact, I spend a ton of time writing about how to make your wedding your own, how to ignore the "noise" and the bullshit and I truly try to push you, bridey, to do what's important to the two of you on your wedding day. And, for those of you who already have children together (or from another relationship), awesome! It's a fabulous idea to include them in your wedding ceremony or even have them walk you down the aisle! But, adhering your children to your wedding dress? I'm sorry, but that's all sorts of fucked up. Not only that, but it's dangerous! Your wedding dress is long, and your shoes are high. And sometimes, shit happens and a girl can lose her balance. Yeah, that alone is not pretty, but at least you're not putting anybody else's safety at risk; certainly not a four week old baby.

    Some people are suggesting that the authorities ought to get involved, but I disagree. While I think it was an incredibly stupid idea, I don't automatically connect the dots, point my finger at the bride and deem her as an unfit parent. Perhaps the hormones got the best of her and she really believed that the baby was "covered by Christ". Or perhaps she really, really thought it was a good idea to drag her newborn behind her. Whatever the case may be, it was not a good idea; it was a terrible idea. And I don't think I am the only one who thought so...

    If you look at the pic on Buzzfeed, there is a gentleman on the edge of the aisle who clearly looks horrified... You can definitely see "what the fuck" written all over his face. So, my question (or two) is why the hell didn't anybody suggest that the bride carry the child with or instead of her bouquet? Why didn't anybody mention to the bride that the baby may get injured, or that it would be plain stupid and fucking weird to drag her down the aisle? I dunno, but having a very young child behind you (instead of in front of you or next to you) in any situation seems dangerous. But, to do it intentionally? That's fucked up.

    What do you think? Haters gonna hate? Or just a really stupid idea?

    Image via The Bridal Bar