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    Entries in Bride (19)

    Tuesday
    Oct142014

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ A Crazy, Drunk Groom, a Naked Bitch and a Cinco de Mayo Witch

    Let me start off by saying that our company must have some sort of magnet for the crazies.

    Crazy #1, "The Drunk Groom"

    Our company was hired by a bride and groom for their rental items. They requested delivery and set up the day before (nothing out of the ordinary). We arrived late afternoon the day before as promised with every item they rented. Set up was perfect, all good to go. Around 11:00pm that night, my phone rings. It's the groom. He's screaming that we were late and that the color is not at all what he wanted. It took us a while to actually make out what he was saying between the screams and slurred speech. My husband takes the phone and tries to explain that it is impossible for us to be late...everything was already set up and your wedding is tomorrow. And as far as the color, what are you talking about you saw the swatch beforehand. Somehow this man thought that it was going to look different in the room. He then demands that we switch out everything for a different color, which is impossible since it is now 11:30pm on a Friday. 

    We try to explain that this is the color they ordered, we even send pictures of our linen swatches to show him. This only infuriates him more; he claims that he wants my husband to go there right now so he can kick his ass. Yes, this man on the night before his wedding is trying to fight us. My husband tells him to calm down, he's getting married tomorrow, and everything they ordered is there and ready to be used. The groom goes ballistic saying "How dare you f***ing threaten me?! You piece of sh**! You scumbag! I'm going to find you RIGHT NOW!” My husband responded, "Ok then, see you soon." We never heard from him again. 

    The day after their wedding this man is supposed to be on his honeymoon (it was a destination wedding) enjoying his new bride, but no. He takes to the internet viciously bashing us everywhere he could, claiming the owner threatened him, we refused to help them, we were late to their wedding, and that everything was filthy. This was in 2012.

    It is now 2014 and the man continues to stalk our company. Every few months we will receive notifications that he is updating his review or publishing reviews on companies that he thinks are related to us. 

    Crazy #2, "Crazy Naked Bitch"

    We were hired by a woman for a party at her home.

    Click to read more ...

    Tuesday
    Jun032014

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ REALLY? A Bride Ties a Baby to her Wedding Dress?

    OMG? WHAT the fuck? I had a whole other THT prepared (which you will see next Tuesday), but after I read this story on Buzzfeed, I literally dropped everything so that I could weigh in on this ridiculousness. Bridey, in case you missed it, check out this link. Yeah, apparently, the bride wanted her one month old baby girl to be part of the wedding ceremony; to be with her as she went down the aisle, so instead of I don't know, CARRYING her, she tied the baby to the train of her wedding dress, and dragged her down the aisle. Can I get an OMG, WHAT THE FUCK?! Right???

    Look, I'm not trying to be a hater. You know that's not how I roll. In fact, I spend a ton of time writing about how to make your wedding your own, how to ignore the "noise" and the bullshit and I truly try to push you, bridey, to do what's important to the two of you on your wedding day. And, for those of you who already have children together (or from another relationship), awesome! It's a fabulous idea to include them in your wedding ceremony or even have them walk you down the aisle! But, adhering your children to your wedding dress? I'm sorry, but that's all sorts of fucked up. Not only that, but it's dangerous! Your wedding dress is long, and your shoes are high. And sometimes, shit happens and a girl can lose her balance. Yeah, that alone is not pretty, but at least you're not putting anybody else's safety at risk; certainly not a four week old baby.

    Some people are suggesting that the authorities ought to get involved, but I disagree. While I think it was an incredibly stupid idea, I don't automatically connect the dots, point my finger at the bride and deem her as an unfit parent. Perhaps the hormones got the best of her and she really believed that the baby was "covered by Christ". Or perhaps she really, really thought it was a good idea to drag her newborn behind her. Whatever the case may be, it was not a good idea; it was a terrible idea. And I don't think I am the only one who thought so...

    If you look at the pic on Buzzfeed, there is a gentleman on the edge of the aisle who clearly looks horrified... You can definitely see "what the fuck" written all over his face. So, my question (or two) is why the hell didn't anybody suggest that the bride carry the child with or instead of her bouquet? Why didn't anybody mention to the bride that the baby may get injured, or that it would be plain stupid and fucking weird to drag her down the aisle? I dunno, but having a very young child behind you (instead of in front of you or next to you) in any situation seems dangerous. But, to do it intentionally? That's fucked up.

    What do you think? Haters gonna hate? Or just a really stupid idea?

    Image via The Bridal Bar

    Tuesday
    Jul302013

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Can I Get a HOLYSHITGODDAMN?

    ***Guest Post: Story by Heavy Cross***

    Bitchless Beauty reporting for duty - though this time, as a super irate and fed up bride-to-be. And I think I know one way that brides can cut down on their stress, frustration, anger and the ensuing red mist that can only mean we're approaching Bitchzilla territory.

    It's by saying 'fuck off' to those who REALLY need to hear it. NOT your wedding planner, NOT your make up artist, and NOT your caterer (i.e. the people you're paying, so thefore you feel some sort of entitlement). Your vendors know what they are doing, and you're paying them based on your own educated decision.

    Say it to whomever has truly earned it. The people you're NOT paying. The people who DON'T know what they're doing. Yes - the people on your guest list, family members or old friends that you by now 'have' to get along with, so they know damned well they can throw tact to the wind and give you all sorts of advice about how they did it, how they would do it, and how you should do it.

    I've been working in this industry for years, and I can safely say that I'm a pretty laidback bride - as in, close to horizontal. All I really care about is that the people I love are in the same place for the day, and that at the end of it I am married to my favourite person. If that happens, I've kicked a goal. I have swallowed and digested all manner of advice, recommendations, insinuations and ideas.

    I get that everyone involved feels they have some sort of stake in or ownership of the wedding, and I know that it ultimately comes from a place of love and excitement. But, HOLYSHITGODDAMN.

    Click to read more ...

    Tuesday
    Feb052013

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ The Bridal Party Breakup

    It's the truth hurts Tuesday brideys! And boy do I have a story for you! The best part of this story (actually, more like the worst)? It happened to me. And looking back, I definitely should have and could have handled it better, but frankly I feel like I never should have been in this situation in the first place. Actually, that's why I am choosing to share this story with you so that if you are in a similar position as a bride-to-be, you won't do what this bride did. I mean, she completely put me on the spot and forced a reaction from me that was kind, but not truthful. Any idea where I am going with this brideys?

    Here's a hint... Don't ask a very new friend (new as in you've known her for about two months) to be your MAID OF HONOR! It's a hell of an honor and a huge responsibility, so if you don't know somebody well enough, then you might not realize just how much you are asking of them. Instead of the honor that it should be, it may feel more like entrapment to your friend

    Click to read more ...

    Tuesday
    Jan082013

    Happy Wife, Happy Life… Really?

    Doesn’t the phrase “happy wife, happy life” seem a bit archaic to you? Perhaps a bit chauvinistic? It’s like this phrase single-handedly justifies a certain crop of women to behave badly. It’s like; “Uh-oh husbands… if your wife is a miserable bitch then you will be too, so you better keep her happy at all costs.” And you know what? You probably will be a miserable husband if your wife is miserable, but it’s not your fault. Well, it’s not all your fault. It’s only your fault if you enable your wife’s bad behavior, and buy into the bullshit that she’s the only one who gets to be happy in your marriage.

    Click to read more ...