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    Entries in bridesmaids (9)

    Tuesday
    Dec232014

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Designing My Dream Bride

    The other day, a friend of mine asked me who my dream bride would be. Huh? Of course, I immediately asked if she was serious or if she was fucking with me. She assured me that she was dead serious, and then said, "if you could design your dream bride, what would "she" be like?" Oooooooo.... This was getting interesting! Right? If nothing else, it certainly got me thinking... What DOES my dream bride look like? And, with Christmas just a few days away, and millions impending proposals and engagements on the horizon, the timing of her question seemed appropriate. Just think... If even just 90% of you, brideys, read this post right after your engagement, then my job is done! So, here it goes... Bitchless Bride's Dream Bride:

    1. My dream bride would remember who she was before she got engaged! Kinda the whole point of my blog, right? Just because you're engaged, doesn't give you the right to be a bitch. Remember, what you put out there is what you'll get back. So, bridey, if you're nice to people (vendors, bridesmaids, etc.), then they will be nice to you. They will do nice things for you. They will go out of their way for you. However, if you are a total bitch, then you'll get the bare minimum from those around you. Seriously, why would your bridesmaids go out of their way for you if they are beginning to hate you? Same goes for your vendors. If you treat them like shit, why should they go above and beyond? Right? Consider this a fact.

    2. My dream bride would remember WHY she wanted to get married in the first place... Um, the dude or the chick your want to spend the rest of your life with... Your sig other! PERSPECTIVE!! See the girl in the picture? She's happy! And, you should be too! You're marrying the love of your life!! (And if you're not, then that's a whole other blog post!)

    Bridey, I eloped, and I know that eloping isn't for everybody, but all I could think of at the time was that I loved my hus, and we had a shitload of family dynamics that could have presented themselves at the worst possible time. But, no matter what? I wanted to be with the dude. So, even if we had stuck to the plan and had a big wedding, all I wanted was him...

    3. My dream bride would treat people with respect (friends, family, vendors). Piggybacking off of number one... Don't be a bitch. Treat people with respect. It's so simple and basic (human decency), and yet oftentimes it gets lost when the wedding planning gets stressful or emotions become extreme. Just remember to breathe, bridey, and be nice. It will be well worth it!

    4. My dream bride would trust me (and all of the other professionals she hired) unequivocally. She would trust that if we are working together, that I know what I am doing, and let me do it. Don't get in my way. Don't think that because your maid of honor (MOH) got married a month ago that we should listen to her (or whothefuckever). Just let me take your dream, and run with it (with established boundaries, of course)!

    5. My dream bride would skip the micromanaging bullshit. Again, you have to trust me, and let me present you with the applicable details. Bridey, your vendors are not going to share the nitty gritty with you, and honestly, you don't want to know all of the behind the scenes shit that you are missing. Just back off,

    Click to read more ...

    Tuesday
    Oct072014

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ 5 Ways to Show Your Bridesmaids the LOVE!

    Bridey, there's been some serious hype about the awful way brides treat their bridesmaids these days. So, after the millionth story I've heard in like two weeks, I thought I would throw in my two cents because I just can't stand it anymore! The problem is, is that I could probably throw in a fucking dollar, and nothing would change. Because this seems to be an ongoing dilemma. A dilemma that doesn't change no matter what anybody says or writes or who says or writes it! So, let me give it another shot.

    Back in February of 2013, I wrote about how to keep your bridesmaids happy, and now I have a little more to add. This time I will keep it simple so maybe it will sink in:

    1. Throw a bash! Bridey, once you have asked your girls to be your 'maids get everybody together, and have a little party. Perhaps some of them don't know each other or know each other well? Then this is a perfect way to introduce them. Party with them, drink with them and have fun together! By the time your wedding rolls around, these chicks will be psyched to see each other which will make your day even that much more exciting! (Even better? Invite the groom and his men. One of my clients met her hus-to-be at an initial gathering of the 'maids and men! True story.)

    2. At your big bash, ask them what they'd like to wear on your big day. That's not to say that they can have carte blanche, but let them know that their opinion is valuable and important, and then work around their feedback. After all, they are (most likely) paying for the dress! At least give them a shot of being able wear it again! (Best way to do that? Little black dress, baby!) 

    3. Accept them for who they are. Perhaps one of your girls is rockin' some crazy (awesome) hot pink hair or a new tat or a shaved head? Bridey, I know it's killing you, but don't say a fucking word about changing their appearance. Leave it alone. You asked them to be in your wedding, and they are supporting you, so it is only fair that you support their choices too.

    4. Want the girls to look their best on your wedding day? Then it's up to you to pay for their hair and make up services. Bridey, they've dished out a ton of moola to be at your wedding (um, the bridesmaid dress, shoes, shower, shower present, bachelorette party, etc...), the least you can do give back. And while you're in the giving mood, I hope your girls enjoyed the bridesmaids gifts you gave them (something super personal, and thoughtful, right?)! 

    5. Get crazy with your girls! It's your wedding day! Have some fun! Order some champagne, and some food and enjoy this time with your 'maids. Focus on losing the "stress" and just have a ball; let go. I mean, you're surrounded by your best friends, getting all dolled up and you're getting married!!! Holy shit!! So, lose the stress and enjoy it!

    Brideys, I know that you picked these particular girls for particular reasons, right? Right. When your big day has come and gone, I'm guessing that you'd still like these girls in your life, correct? Well, then it's up to you to take care of them the way you're expecting them to take care of you.

    Image via StyleSizzle

    Tuesday
    Aug202013

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Woe is B...

    The truth today, bridey? I'm fucking tired. I'm fucking over it. I'm fucking done. Seriously, you know that feeling when you just want the world to freeze for a little while just so you can catch up on your life? So, that you can have everybody leave you the fuck alone for like one second, and give you some space? Yeah, that's where I'm at right now. I'm spent, and I really need to get my shit together, because I've got a busy wedding season coming up, and I'm already exhausted. 
    So, here's what I'm gonna do, I'm going to educate you the best way I know how... Through experience... Here are a few simple reminders about common decency while planning your wedding:

    1. First of all, go read the vendor vent from the fussy florist. It'll teach you that we are all fighting a battle, and no matter how much time and money goes into your planning, many of us go well beyond the call of duty to make sure you're happy.

    2. Be nice. Even if it's through clenched teeth. Be fucking nice. To everybody involved in your wedding planning. Enough of the entitled bullshit.

    Click to read more ...

    Tuesday
    Feb192013

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Bridal Party Etiquette 

    Bridey, so I know that you are the one getting married, and you are the one spending a ton of money on your big day, and that you are in charge of the building the perfect bridal party, but let's get one thing straight, okay? Don't be a bitch to the women you are asking to stand at the altar with you. Period. I am getting so tired of witnessing or hearing about bitch-ass brideys behaving like total diva assholes to the women they supposedly love enough to have them share such a personal experience with... So STOP IT. 

    Yes I am being hard on you, but most of you deserve it. Sorry, but you do. However, because I care about your well being, and in order to help you to avoid creating drama surrounding your wedding day, I have decided to give you five rules to follow to keep you from fucking up your relationships with your maids (possibly forever). 

    1. Don't even think about asking one, or some of the girls to lose weight before your wedding. Not only are you going to hurt their feelings, but it's just rude. Accept them for who they are and what they look like, but please don't ask them to make such a personal sacrifice for you. If they haven't done it for themselves already, then odds are they are not going to do it for you (although they may try unsuccessfully), and then you've opened up a whole other can of worms. And trust me, your friendship will never be the same. I promise. 

    Click to read more ...

    Monday
    Dec032012

    How to Prevent Yourself From Wandering into the Deep End of Crazy

    **STORY SUBMITTED BY GISELLE F.**

    Weddings are magical; not only in the way they make every woman feel like a princess, but also in the effect it has on females. We’ve all seen perfectly sensible women try on the white veil and suddenly turn into raging, crying, hyperventilating, bossy creatures with raised eyebrows, flared nostrils, loud voices and waving fingers. We all swear that, when it is our turn to walk down the aisle, we will be sane and calm. If this is a serious goal for you, it is wise to set strategies to prevent yourself from wandering into the deep end of crazy.

    Click to read more ...