Entries in bridey (17)
Mind if I skip the bullshit and get right to it today? Seriously, I want to tell all of you brideys how to the be the best bride you can be, but I would like to do it without sugar coating the truth. Can I do that, please? Cool, thank you. Because lately I feel like I am working with some "newbies" (as in, newly engaged), and you girls aren't quite as well versed in your bridal manners as you could be, so here it goes...
Let's start with the basics, shall we?:
1. Manage your expectations. I've said it a million times, and I'll say it again. Bridey, don't forget to manage your expectations (and your manners) during the wedding planning process. Right now, you are eating, sleeping and definitely drinking all things wedding. It's all you can think (and talk) about, and oftentimes you find yourself super frustrated when you reach out to one of your wedding vendors and they don't get back to you fast enough. Like, ten minutes after you hit "send". Or when you're out with your girlfriends and thirty minutes go by and nobody else has said a word except you. When you finally come up for air, they are SLEEPING. Be respectful. Because, bridey, nobody cares as much as you do. So, MANAGE your expectations if you want to get through the process unscathed.
2. Quit being a bitch. To your vendors, to your fiance, to your friends, to your mother, and to the holy ghost! I know that wedding planning is like taking on a second job. And it's fucking stressful. TRUST ME, I KNOW! You're basically moonlighting, and it's a lot to take on, but get your 'tude in check. Bridey, the nicer you are, the more people want to help you through the process. Right? So, quit being a bitch.
3. Drop the holier than thou attitude. Along the same lines of "quit being a bitch", rockin' a holier than thou attitude because you're the bride is just as annoying, and you know what? NOBODY CARES! Bridey, you know how many brides there have been before you? And how many brides there are going to be after you? Getting married is nothing new. And when you treat people shit because you're the bride, yeah... It's bullshit.
You remember in grade school or high school or wherever when one chick in your class would get the rest of you in trouble? And it was, like, totally unfair because, like, you didn't do anything wrong, but you got in trouble anyway? Well, this is one of those fucking times. All because of one chick, one bridey bitch... Well, she just ruined it for the rest of you lovely brides to be. Her entitled, cunty ways just threw me over the edge. Yup! You read that right. I just used a really bad word (one I've never used on Bitchless Bride for the record), but when there is no other way to explain it and still get my point across, I felt forced to use a word that stings a bit... Anyway, allow me to elaborate.
Here's the gist... I am not your servant. I am not your bitch. I am your experienced wedding planner who you hired to get shit done. I'm somebody who knows people to get shit done. I'm not some little "yes" girl. Seriously, sometimes I wish you brideys would treat me like an attorney instead of a wedding planner who's expected to smile every time you make a decision all by your little self. If I were an attorney, you'd give me the facts, tell me your thoughts and LISTEN to my PROFESSIONAL opinion based on my experience. But, because I am in the "bend over and take it industry", sorry, the service industry, I'm forced to smile through my gritted teeth.
So, let's get to it... Back to the Basics ~ 5 Tips on How to Not be a Bridey Bitch:
1. Fucking... be nice.
Okay… The Truth Hurts Tuesday is back with a bang! Seriously brideys, I am not messing around today. Here’s the bottom line… If you are being taunted by that little voice inside your head, you know, the one that is saying something like, “Run, bridey, run! WHAT am I doing, and how do I get out of this?” then perhaps you should take a step back and listen to what the voice is trying to tell you. If it ain’t right, then don’t get married. Period.
Doesn’t the phrase “happy wife, happy life” seem a bit archaic to you? Perhaps a bit chauvinistic? It’s like this phrase single-handedly justifies a certain crop of women to behave badly. It’s like; “Uh-oh husbands… if your wife is a miserable bitch then you will be too, so you better keep her happy at all costs.” And you know what? You probably will be a miserable husband if your wife is miserable, but it’s not your fault. Well, it’s not all your fault. It’s only your fault if you enable your wife’s bad behavior, and buy into the bullshit that she’s the only one who gets to be happy in your marriage.