Wanna Rock a Bitchless Bride or Bridesmaid T-Shirt?

Bitchless Social
Minted's Limited Edition Art Prints christmas gifts and favors Shop Disney Descendants on Zazzle Save the Date Magnets from Wedding Paper Divas
Join Our Mailing List
This form does not yet contain any fields.
    Bitchless Around the Web

    Read our content on other sites we love:


    Bitchless Twitter Feed

    Entries in Maid of Honor (6)


    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ FLASH BACK: The Bridal Party Breakup

    ***I was thinking about this crazy chick the other day, so I thought I would share this insane story with you again. The reason I thought about her? Well, I had a moment like, "I wonder whatever happened to whatsherface..." Know what I mean? Then I realized that I didn't give a shit.***

    February 5, 2013:

    It's the truth hurts Tuesday brideys! And boy do I have a story for you! The best part of this story (actually, more like the worst)? It happened to me. And looking back, I definitely should have and could have handled it better, but frankly I feel like I never should have been in this situation in the first place. Actually, that's why I am choosing to share this story with you so that if you are in a similar position as a bride-to-be, you won't do what this bride did. I mean, she completely put me on the spot and forced a reaction from me that was kind, but not truthful. Any idea where I am going with this brideys?

    Here's a hint... Don't ask a very new friend (new as in you've known her for about two months) to be your MAID OF HONOR! It's a hell of an honor and a huge responsibility, so if you don't know somebody well enough, then you might not realize just how much you are asking of them. Instead of the honor that it should be, it may feel more like entrapment to your friend, and not only that, but she'll probably feel very, very uncomfortable.

    Perhaps some of you are thinking, "What's wrong with asking a new friend to be in your wedding? Obviously she felt as though she had a strong enough connection with you to even ask." To which I would answer, "Yes, we definitely had a solid connection." But... "I didn't know her the way a friend should know a friend if they are accepting an invitation of such magnitude.  And, she didn't ask me to be in her wedding, she asked me to be her maid of honor!"

    So... what'd you do BB?

    I have to admit, this happened before I was the well seasoned professional I am now (Bridey, I may have a trashy mouth, but I am definitely a pro!). Sooooo.... I didn't handle it well. I was mortified. I said "yes" initially, and it took me a week to politely decline her maid of honor invitation, and get out of being downgraded to a bridesmaid too... Yeah... I wanted completely out of this wedding. Obviously, this was not a easy conversation to have, but I knew I would ultimately let her down in the long run, so therefore it was important for me to be up front with her before I got in even deeper. 

    But, how did you do it? How'd you get out of it?

    I took her out for a few cocktails, sucked down a giant martini, and laid it all out there. I know this will surprise you bridey, but I happen to be very blunt... HA! But, really I am. And if she hadn't caught me so off guard initially (at work, and right before we met up with a few girls for lunch), then I would like to think that I would have politely declined and let it go. That said I was absolutely determined to handle the bridal party breakup better than I had handled the proposal. When I told her how I felt, I was careful to explain myself without being a bitch, and to let her know that I had no intention of even being in the wedding. I would certainly be in attendance, but the responsibility of being part of the bridal party was too much, and I didn't think it would be fair to her.

    Honestly, she handled it really well. Much better than I had expected, and we ended up having a pleasant evening together. Needless to say, the friendship took a hit, but I felt and still feel strongly that I made the right choice.

    So, bridey... if you are in the "la-la love" stage with a new friend, awesome. Have fun and enjoy! But, let me be the one to tell you that if you are thinking about asking her to do the "honor" of being in your wedding, then use caution. I know it seems counterintuitive, but consider the impact on your newborn friendship if her reaction isn't not "yes". Got it?

    What do you think? Have you ever been in a similar position? 

    Image via Hand Crafted Collectibles


    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ FLASHBACK: A Tale of Two Mentalities

    ***Here we go again... I seem to be working with quite a few newly engaged brides, and therefore, I thought I would educate you a bit on educating your bridesmaids. But, why reinvent the wheel? Right? I loved this post, bridey, so, just read it!!! It will give you some insight into those bridesmaids of yours... ***

    February 7, 2012 

    It was the best of times, it was the worst of times… Unfortunately, some of your bridal party might feel this way after participating in your wedding. Don’t let this Charles Dickens mentality get the best of you! Brides, you must be clear with the friends and family you choose to be in your bridal party. Let them know what your expectations are at the beginning so that they have the opportunity to turn down your lovely offer, and sit with the rest of us in the pews if they are not willing to or do not want to live up to your dream.  

    Okay, stop being a bitch and listen… Think about it this way… You know when you don’t want to do something or you don’t understand how to do it, so you just don’t do it? Well, welcome to the psyche of about 95% of your bridesmaids (and I’m sorry to say, possibly even your maid of honor… aka: MOH). Depending on your age, your bridal party may be inexperienced, uninformed and probably doesn’t understand the enormous undertaking they signed up for when they eagerly accepted their role as your bridesmaid. I promise you, in most cases, it’s not that they don’t want to do all of those bridal things for you; it’s just that they don’t know how or even that they have such great responsibilities. That’s where you come in. Educate them. Be involved (but, not too involved), offer guidance and advice, but don’t overdo it. Remember, similarly to your fiancé, they cannot read your mind. So tell them that you were thinking Vegas or NYC for your bachelorette party, that you want a hotel bridal shower and that your MOH is to act as a liaison between you and your mother on your wedding day. Start kicking ass if they start to slack knowing your expectations, but not before.

    Looking back (way back) into my early 20s, I am embarrassed to admit that I completely failed as a bridesmaid for one of my besties. She was among the first to get married and I was clueless. I actually missed her shower because I was hung over (not a proud moment), didn’t go to her bachelorette party (or even help to plan it) and only gave $100.00 for her wedding gift. And I call myself a planner…? Right? But, I had NO idea the immense responsibility I carried with that ugly dress. Had I known, I would have taken a seat with everybody else, or asked a few more questions about her expectations in the beginning.

    So please, once you finally decide who gets to wear the dress, make your voice heard! Tell them what you want, and allow them to make it their choice if they are up for the task. Got it? Good. You’re welcome.


    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ A Lesson About Friendship to All of You Brideys

    Brideys, I'm going to get straight to the point because this shit is important. It's so super important because if you don't have friends after you say, "I do" then who will you bitch to about your husband when the wedding euphoria wears off? Right? I mean basically, bridey, I really want you have friends when your wedding is over. I also think it's kinda important that you still like your friends when your wedding is over too. I mean, it is a two-way street. So, I thought I'd share a few ways to keep AND like your friends leading up to, and following your nuptials. 

    1. Don't be an entitled bridey bitch. Yes, it's your day, but everybody is there to celebrate with you so make sure you that when the day finally arrives that they do in fact want to celebrate with you. In other words, don't fuck it up all the way to the altar and then expect your friends to be excited to be part of your wedding. 

    2. Brideys-to-be... Going to a wedding like every other fucking weekend? Yeah, then outside of being exhausted and over it, you're obviously at the stage in your life in which you'll probably be in several weddings too. That said, may I make a suggestion? It's very simple actually. Don't be an asshole.

    Click to read more ...


    Why I Love a Fake Wedding Band 

    Above... The fake wedding bands I carry in my emergency kit. 

    I lost my wedding band. Seriously, I can’t find it anywhere. And I have to say that my hus has been pretty cool about it and hasn’t started to freak out (yet) because I tend to leave my “valuables” around the house. But, I was heading out for dinner and drinks with the girls, and felt weird leaving rockin’ only my engagement ring. Soooo… I dug into my emergency bag (you know, THE emergency bag? The one I use on your wedding day bridey…) pulled out a fake wedding band, and wore it with my engagement ring. And you know what? It’s shocking how real it looked next to my diamond. But, that’s not the point… The point is as I was gazing down at my fake wedding band bling, I remembered the story of Tim and Jessica, and the reason why I started packing fake wedding bands in the first place.

    Click to read more ...


    Because Bustling Doesn't Have to be a Bitch

    {Photograph courtesy Person + Killian}

    So, I like to think that I am really awesomely good at my job. I am super, annoyingly detailed, I provide excellent customer service, I write kick ass timelines, create and bring to life even the most complicated of floor plans, but there is one part of my job that rocks me every time! The damn wedding dress bustle. Because each one is completely different, and frankly some are designed better than others. I know it's a silly thing to get frustrated with, but it can take a lot of time for whomever is assisting with the process (and quite often, that's part of my job), and sometimes it can create tension where there was none.

    Click to read more ...