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    Entries in Perspective (11)

    Tuesday
    May262015

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ A Heartfelt Confession from Your Overly Dedicated Wedding Planner

    Perspective. There's that fucking word again. Ugh. Perspective. Sometimes even I hate that word because it really does shake the bullshit out of a situation and forces you to see the truth. And, as we all know, the truth really does hurt sometimes. Without giving too much away about myself, recently I went through somewhat of a difficult time, and although the dust has settled, I had the opportunity to reevaluate what's important in my life, and also, what's important your life too, bridey. Because as I was trying to get through my "situation", there was this one bride (who was aware of what I was up against), didn't care and nearly made me throw in the towel, quit wedding planning and search for what's next.

    The most fucked up part of the story? This chick was done. Finito! She was married! She had her wedding, came back from her honeymoon and was "checking in" with me. Lovely, right? Well... No. It should have been, but it wasn't. And the crazy thing, is that her wedding day kicked ass. Every detail was executed perfectly, the family dynamics we were concerned about did not present themselves, and she (and her sig other) were quite thrilled with how the day went. So, why was she torturing me? What the fuck did she want? Well, the venue misplaced a few items. SMALL items. Easily replaceable items. And of course, she wanted me to go hunting and fight the fight. 

    Really? You want ME to call the venue for you, and have them search for the cake knife and remaining ceremony programs (even though you have an extra box of them at your house)? Really? Bridey, you KNOW that I am in the middle of a personal crisis, and yet, you want me to follow up with the venue? WOW. Listen, I get that I orchestrated your event, handled all of the details and held your hand before sending you down the aisle. But, today, please... Either hold my fucking hand or call the chick at the venue yourself. It's not like you need me to get you thousands of dollars back for a shitty experience. You're asking me to care about a fucking cake knife, that you received as a gift... I mean... It's not a family heirloom, it's a gift from your registry. Deal with it... YOURSELF!

    It was all I could do not to lose my shit and say exactly what I was thinking without exercising self control and filtering the bitch out of my voice. But, I did. And it was hard. Because, bridey, I hate to say it, but half of you will end up in divorce court, and you'll want to use that fucking cake knife to stab your sig other in the balls. And the other half of you? Well, you'll have your fair share of shit to deal with too. Real shit. Life or death shit. And that cake knife? You think you will still care about that stupid fucking cake knife? No, you won't. You will care about each other. You'll fight for each other. You'll fight the fights that are worth fighting for. You'll sleep on a chair next to hospital bed, and pray. Or maybe you'll sleep in a hospital bed, and pray for a brighter future. You'll learn that anything can happen at any moment, so appreciate what you have TODAY. Right? Kinda puts things into perspective, doesn't it?

    Bridey, your wedding day is nothing more than a symbol of what's to come. I've thrown extravagant, over the top weddings, and I've thrown super simple weddings... And the ones I love the most? The weddings that represent the couple. The weddings that are heartfelt and see beyond the bullshit of "the day". These B+Gs get that their wedding day is only the first step towards whatever future they make of it together. Right?? So, now do you understand how little I care about that fucking cake knife? Can you see why that phone call had me thinking about what else I could possibly do with my life that didn't involve taking care of anybody else besides the people I love and myself?

    Bridey, please... Let my confession be food for thought when you find yourself stressing over the stupid shit. In the end? It really doesn't matter. All that matters are the two of you...

    Image via EngravingShop.com

    Tuesday
    Jul222014

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Getting to Know Bitchless Bride... My Life After My Wedding

    By the time you read this, I will be 37 years old. Wow... Could I be more dramatic? But, seriously, I feel like I just got married, and my trip down the aisle was ten years ago! TEN FUCKING YEARS! Oh my God! I was 27!! And maybe I'm still obsessed with weddings because I'm in "the industry", and all I do is eat, breathe and sleep it, or maybe it's because I eloped and never had a wedding to call my own, but no matter what, it still feels like my "wedding" was yesterday. The only difference? My perspective is completely different than it was ten years ago. And you know what? I lucked the fuck out.

    Why am I so lucky? Well, see the pic? That's the card my hus got for me for my birthday (along with these...). And when I met this guy, I wasn't ready at all. Like... AT ALL!! Fast forward fourteen years later (we were together four years before he proposed)... Dude is the father of my child, responsible for several (almost painful) belly laughs and putting up with my bullshit. When I really think about it, we are light years away from where we were on our wedding day. And for some reason my birthday got me thinking about how different life is now, than before even having started with a solid foundation before we said "I do."

    I'd say that the absolutely scariest part of my marriage was when my hus nearly died less than a year after we got married.

    Click to read more ...

    Tuesday
    Jun172014

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Five Ways to Avoid Being a Micromanager on Your Wedding Day

    Bridey, I can handle a lot of things, but the one thing I cannot stand is to be micromanaged. Period. So, please don’t micromanage me. And please don’t micromanage your vendors. The funny thing is that I’m not talking about now; the wedding planning process. I’m talking about on your wedding day. Seriously, don’t you have enough on your mind? Like, oh, I don’t know… your wedding vows, your reception and how basically every single person you love will be in the same room at the same time… That’s a big deal, bridey. HUGE actually, and I hate to say it, but that will most likely only happen one other time in your life. Yeah, I’ll let you figure that one out yourself.

    As I was saying, this is our job. We, your vendors, do this most every weekend throughout the year (more or less), and hopefully you will only do this once. And when you take a step back, who has more experience? I’ll give you a hint, it ain’t you babe! So, please, just enjoy your wedding day because not only do you deserve to be utterly happy, but we have worked incredibly hard making it happen for you.

    Look, I know that it’s easier said than done, so I thought I would give you a few pointers on how to prevent your bridey ass from turning into a micromanager on your wedding day:

    1. I know this is simple, but just resist the urge to micromanage. Every time you feel it bubbling up, think about the big picture and all of the professionals you have hired to do their jobs. Bridey, you are not on the clock today. You should literally just sit there looking pretty and enjoying yourself.

    2. Remember how I said that you hired professionals? Well bridey, give yourself a round of applause because there is a reason why you hired WHO you hired, right? So let go of all your Type A mannerisms and allow said professionals to do the job you hired them to do.

    3. On that note, let them (your vendors) do their job their way. Perhaps you’ve dabbled in photography or were an MC in college. That’s great, but please don’t begin suggesting amazing shots that your photographer just “has to take” or making turntable recommendations to your DJ. They’ll figure it out! They always do. Bridey, unless there is something specific that you forgot to communicate to one of your vendors or the venue prior to your wedding, ease off and just relax!

    Click to read more ...

    Tuesday
    Feb182014

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Retrospective Perspective

    Bridey, have you ever looked back at certain moments in your life and uttered, “OMG in retrospect, if I could go back, I’d do it all differently…” Seriously, who hasn’t, right? I mean, there are SEVERAL instances in my life which have me uttering, “Holy crap, what the fuck was I thinking?!” CRINGE! The reason I am bringing this up is because I’d hate for you to look back on your wedding and ask yourself, “How come I was such a bitch during my wedding planning?”

    The reality? How you choose to behave during your wedding planning will be part of your wedding memories. And do you really want those memories marked with such aggravation and bitchiness? Trust me, your vendors will get over it and forget about you after the wedding. But, your behavior is something that you can’t take back, and if you were a total bitch during your planning, I'd be willing to be that down the road, you’ll wish you weren’t.

    Rather than preach to you about how you’ll regret your bad behavior, blah blah blah, let’s try to figure out what has you so worked up, and what we can do about it.

    · Is it the money? I mean, let’s be honest, you’re probably spending more for one day than you will ever spend in your life. But, bridey, it’s important to separate the money from the emotion. Period. If things get messed up, sorry… WHEN things get messed up, you’ll deal with it and you’ll still get married. Your life won't be ruined, okay? So, don’t sweat the small stuff.

    · Is it your in-laws? Fiancé? Both? Well then talk about it! For God’s sake, if you don’t communicate NOW, then what does this say about your marriage; your future; the rest of your life? If this is a glimpse into your future, then obviously you are freaked out. But, bridey, if that’s the case, then you need to talk about it. And go straight to the source(s) because taking it out on everybody else is not helping, it’s hurting. Don’t pussyfoot around either. Be blunt. Be bold. Be bitchless.

    · Is it nerves? Are you worried that you don’t know how to do this? That your wedding will suck? Well, settle down. Nobody expects perfection. In fact, most of your guests don’t even want to go to your wedding. True story. So, get over it. Do yoga, exercise, take Xanax, have some wine and get down and dirty with your man. I mean, not all on the same day or time, but…

    Click to read more ...

    Tuesday
    Jun112013

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Sometimes, Even BB Needs a Little Perspective

    I'm not going to lie, sometimes, I (too) get so caught up in the wedding planning process that every now and then, I require a much needed reminder not only about the significance behind the event, but the reason I was hired to help plan the wedding. I have to separate myself from the beautiful design, an excited bride and overwhelming desire to make each and every detail sparkle and get myself centered; get my shit together. Get some PERSPECTIVE! Why? Well, even though it's not my wedding, in a similar fashion to the how the bride oftentimes finds herself miles away from where she started (be it from a budget standpoint, design aesthetic, etc.), occasionally, so do I. And it's super important that at least one of us remembers what the hell we're doing all of this amazing preparation for... a union of two people who want the world to witness their love, and commitment to each other. Because it's more than just a fucking party; it's a celebration; it's a public promise; it's the beginning of a whole new life. Soooo... as excited as we both get during the planning, I must focus and not to lose sight of the big picture.

    Click to read more ...