Wanna Rock a Bitchless Bride or Bridesmaid T-Shirt?

Bitchless Social
Advertisers
Minted's Limited Edition Art Prints Shop Monogram Gifts & More Wedding Save the Date Magnets
Join Our Mailing List
This form does not yet contain any fields.
    Search
    Bitchless Around the Web

    Read our content on other sites we love:


     

    Bitchless Twitter Feed

    Entries in sex (5)

    Tuesday
    Feb092016

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ 7 Reasons Why Couples Divorce and How to Overcome Them...

    The other day, I ran into a groom whose wedding I had planned 8-9 years ago. Once it registered who I was, the first thing out of his mouth was, "Christin and I are still married!" After nearly choking on my gum, I said, "Good! You two were one of the good ones!" He thanked me and then asked, "You must wonder about that a lot... Like, if couples you've worked with are still married?" Another jaw dropping moment for me... But, yes, I do... ALL THE TIME! So, following a few pleasantries, chatting about our kids, etc. we parted ways, but I couldn't shake what he said to me. I mean... It's a perfectly valid question considering the shitty wedding statistics, right? Bridey, as you embark on the biggest day of your life leading up to your future, let's talk about how to over come the dismal marriage statistics, shall we?

    Bridey, the truth is that one out of every TWO marriages fail. Um, that's 50%! Holy shit, right? Pretty grim stats! I mean... We spend all of this time and energy dating, obsessing and finally committing, thinking we finally found the right one, and then BOOM! A few years after the wedding (that I worked my ass off planning), divorce. WHY? What changes after the wedding that didn't present itself before you said "I do"? Or better yet... Maybe nothing changed, and the little red flags were there the whole time.

    Here are a few well known reasons why couples divorce and my ideas on how to overcome them before you walk down the aisle:

    1. Lack of communication. This one always baffles me. Do you communicate now? Yes? Good! Well, then keep communicating. Not communicating so well? Then fight it out if you have to! Yell it out! Scream it out! But, no matter what, bridey, get it out! If something is on your mind, then do something about it! Shockingly, this tends to come easily for me, as I am a bit of a loud mouth, and the people in my life always know where they stand, but you don't have to be a loud mouth to communicate. Just do it, bridey. In your own way. Sometimes it's as simple as an email outlining how you feel. Hide behind the screen if it helps you tell your partner how you feel. Who cares how you do it, but just get it out there! Because if you're starting your marriage with shattered lines of communication, then ultimately? You'll be communicating via attorney after the wedding.

    2. Cheating. Why? I know I sound naïve when I say this, but WHY cheat? Seriously, besides the fact that cheating is the most cowardly, selfish and insensitive thing a person can do to somebody that they supposedly love, it's breaking the ultimate bond; the sanctity of marriage. A bond which both parties are about to knowingly enter into. So, keep your junk in your pants, and get in touch with why the urge to cheat is present in the first place. Bridey, if cheating is something that you're currently dealing with, then I highly suggest adjusting your focus from choosing your linen colors to reexamining your choice in partner.

    3. Money. There's a shocker. Right? People fighting about money? I think it's so sad how money has the power to make things weird and cause friction between people. And yet, it totally does! Throw in the differences in your spending (or saving) habits, then the whole money thing can definitely contribute to the great divide. Why people aren't up front with their expectations, money wise, astounds me. Bridey, you're about to spend a shitload of cash on your wedding,  but, when it comes to the everyday stuff like bills, and groceries, etc., you argue. For the love of God, start having REAL conversations about money before you get married! If one of you likes to shop, and one of you likes to penny pinch, this could be a real problem, so figure it out now or allocate a portion of your salary to your divorce attorney.

    4. The "we" is killing you. There's no "I" in "we". Bridey, you've lost your sense of self, and you're feeling the ramifications. It's really hard not to lose a piece of yourself when deeply ensconced with another person, but... TRY. Don't let go of your friends simply because you found "the one". Don't forget about the hobbies you enjoyed prior to getting into a relationship. Don't forget who you were before the rock! You're a big girl... You don't always need to do couple things. So, loosen your grip on "we", and focus on "me" every now and again.

    5. Sex. Or, lackthereof. Do I really need to say more? Just do something about it. This is the easiest fix on the list.

    6. Lack of effort. Um, you have to work at maintaining a healthy relationship. And, sometimes? It's fucking hard. We all fall into ruts, but it's how we dig ourselves out of the rut that counts. Bridey, put you're heart into your relationship in the same way you're putting your heart into your wedding plans. You gotta work at it... Period.

    7. Wrong partner. I'm about to tell you something you already know, bridey. He/she isn't "the one", and you know it. So, quit fucking around... It's not going to get better, so get out before you waste time and money getting married.

    Sadly, I could go on and on, but why bother? Bottom line, if it doesn't feel right, then quit while your ahead... OF THE WEDDING!

    Image via GCSE Religious Studies

    Tuesday
    Oct272015

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ FLASH BACK: Gynecologically Speaking

    ***I needed a good laugh today. Soooo... I thought I would share this post from 2011 not only because it's funny, but because it's educational too. And because my mom was probably the only one reading Bitchless Bride back then, I'm assuming that most of you probably haven't seen this masterpiece. Enjoy and learn, bridey!***

    December 22, 2011:

    So, I’m just sayin’… I know that we don’t talk about the amount of sex that everybody has on his or her honeymoon, but we should. I know that you will be busy relaxing and reminiscing about your perfect wedding day on that beautiful tropical island you have jetted off to, but you will also be busy getting busy too. So be proactive! Make an appointment with your gynecologist before your trip, and ask him/her to give you a script for a UTI infection (that you fill prior to your trip) to take with you. There is nothing worse then being away from home, especially in a foreign country, and having an issue “down there”. Better safe than sorry!

    And on that note… don’t forget to take your pills, insert your birth control, use a condom, etc. You don’t want to come back from your honeymoon with more then a tan.

    Thursday
    Jun282012

    Bitchless Bride Video #8 - Taking Care of "Down There"

    Consider this Bitchless Bride's sex PSA that will save your wedding night and honeymoon! And just for fun, count how many times I say "vagina" in this video! And when you're done... go read our Gynecologically Speaking post... 

    Click to read more ...

    Tuesday
    Jun262012

    Give it to Me Brideys

    Sometimes a girl just needs to get laid. We need to get our “swerve” on. We want your hands on our bodies, and your mouth… well; you get the picture (sorry dad!). So, we put on some sexy music, light those scented candles and go to town. But, before I get all hot and bothered, I better get to the point! Basically, I want to talk about sex. Clearly. But, I want to hear about your sex.

    Click to read more ...

    Thursday
    Dec222011

    Gynaecologically Speaking

    So, I’m just sayin’… I know that we don’t talk about the amount of sex that everybody has on his or her honeymoon, but we should. I know that you will be busy relaxing and reminiscing about your perfect wedding day on that beautiful tropical island you have jetted off to, but you will also be busy getting busy too.

    Click to read more ...