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    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ FLASHBACK: Ten Things I Hate About "I Do"

    ***I'm posting this one again because it's one of my favorite Truth Hurts, and because I was recently reminded why people hate being in weddings (see number 6). Not to mention, it's some pretty awesome advice! Enjoy!***

    March 24, 2014:

    "Oh my God, you have the coolest job! I'm sure you could write a book about all of the stuff you see!" *wink* Since all of my non-wedding industry friends always seem to think that my job is nothing but rainbows and unicorns, I thought I would share ten things I hate about "I do". And since I'm not really into sugar coating, a few of these items may hit a nerve, so brideys, I suggest you listen up and learn from this instead of being offended. Because I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God. If used correctly, then what I am about to share with you can quite possibly change the entire course of your wedding, if not your life. Okay... a touch dramatic, but...

    1. Cheap brides. It's one thing if you don't have the money, and need to scale back. I totally get it!! But, cheap for the sake of being cheap is fucking annoying. I want you to remember something, bridey. You get what you pay for, and if you hire the cheapest vendor or nickel and dime the ones you hire to their breaking point, then most likely you will be disappointed with the outcome. If you're cheap with them, then odds are? They're going to be cheap with you.

    2. Two words. Dry weddings. WHAT the fuck? I have planned weddings of all different religions, backgrounds, etc., but imposing your personal tastes and/or beliefs on your guests is rude. At least have a cash bar (cringe) and make your guests pay for their booze. But, not offering it? Inconsiderate.

    3. Which leads me to my next point. Vegan weddings. REALLY? Enough! Be vegan! Be healthy! That's awesome, bridey, but pretty please with sugar on top, don't subject your guests to tofu if they aren't interested. Look, I have a lot of vegan friends, but when we're together they certainly don't impose their "stuff" onto me. So, please, bridey, don't do it at your wedding. If meat makes you ill, I totally get it. Just make it a lovely vegetarian wedding, and skip the vegan.

    4. Get a grip on your expectations. Drop the fairy tale act. You want magic? Then marry the right man. PERIOD. If you plan well, stay true to yourself (and your budget), and the rest will fall into place. And you know what that is? Magic!

    5. Please don't be rude to your fiancé, mother, father, sister, brother, event manager, florist, caterer, etc. in front of anybody else. Because it's painful. It's excruciating. It's uncomfortable. And it makes me want to punch you in the face. If you have an issue with any of the peeps mentioned above, then work it out privately and get off of your soapbox.

    6. Unflattering bridesmaids dresses. You heard me. UN FLATT ER ING! And for any of you who say "OMG, don't my girls look amazing?"... You're lying! Because that bottom heavy friend of yours in that stick-straight, super light dress is fucking miserable, and it shows!!

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    Thank You for Having Sex

    Let me set the scene… I really want you to be able to visualize this in your minds eye. I want you to feel as uncomfortable as every guest in this beautiful venue felt as they listened to this poor chump deliver his toast. Picture a VERY conservative crowd of wasps sipping their very expensive champagne as the best man takes the microphone for his toast. He turns to the parents of the groom, and says, “Mr. and Mrs. Smith, I just want to thank you for having sex.”

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