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    Entries in wedding (104)

    Tuesday
    Jan132015

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ BB is Losing Faith in Humanity

    This is an unbelievable story. Seriously. Even I can't believe it... But, bridey, listen... I have to change a few of the details or else this client will absolutely know that I am talking about her. And considering what a crazy fucking bitch she is, I wouldn't be surprised if she hunted my ass down if she accidentally stumbled across this post! Cool? Great. Here it goes...

    So, from inception, this client was somewhat of a pain in the ass. Like, she knew that she needed planning assistance (and, I was the lucky planner... probably because I was the only one to call her back), but raged against the machine from the very beginning. It was like she hated that she needed help. Not only was she was late to appointments, but when she finally did arrive, she wasn't really engaged during conversation. Between that bullshit and he missing scheduled phone calls, this bitch didn't pay me until the day of the event (seriously, I almost didn't show up myself!). So, there are the CliffsNotes. Now let's get to the meat.

    Fast forward to the day of the event... I was pacing until I saw her (holding my fucking check!), and when I finally did, she was her usual unemotional, bitchy self. All I kept thinking is that I couldn't wait for the event to be over. And if you've gotten to know me at all, that's not my MO. I love seeing my events come together; all the hard work coming through to fruition is the best feeling in the whole world! Anyway... So, the event is going well, somewhat anticlimactic, and then somebody took a fall and smacked their head. YIKES!

    The worst part? It was a kid. Yup. A fucking kid took a digger and smacked the back of her head while getting her groove on... I had hired some fantastic entertainment, and this kid was rockin' hard on the dance floor, and then fell... OYE! So, procedure at the venue was to call 911. Yes, a bit drastic, but considering it was a kid, I really had no objection if the EMTs checked her out, but... my client? This bitch wasn't happy.

    Click to read more ...

    Tuesday
    Dec092014

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Get a Muzzle for Your Mother! When Open Bar Turns Ugly...

    You know what? I have FUCKING had it!!! To say that I am appalled at the behavior I have witnessed tonight would be the fucking understatement of the year. Seriously, I have never had to suppress the urge to backhand a mother of the bride in my entire career until now. And, trust me; I have had some pretty awful MOBs, but tonight? Oh dear God. 

    Let’s talk about the bar at your wedding, shall we, bridey? Look, I have not made it a secret that I hate cash bars. That said, as a planner I’ve worked with clients who don’t have the means to purchase drinks for 150 of their closest friends and family members. These brides would rather spend their money on food and décor, and that’s just fine. I don’t have to like it, but I totally get it. But, on the flip side, bridey, if you choose to keep the bar open, then keep the fucking bar open and shut your fucking eyes. Don’t monitor each and every drink that is poured, drunk and then cleared by the staff. Don’t scrutinize the bartenders with your devil eyes (ahem… MOB). If you were at all concerned about the bar bill adding up, then you should have negotiated a per person package price for the booze BEFORE the wedding. Because a bar based on the number of beverages consumed can add up, and quickly.

    “I don’t have a drinking crowd.” She said. Bullshit. Yes you do. Once your guests realize that they are not responsible for buying their own cocktails, you’re fucked. Because NOW, my dear, you have a drinking crowd. Somebody else is paying for their booze, so OF COURSE your guests are going to take full advantage! They’re going to drink their fucking faces off!

    Annnnndddd…. Besides, scrutinizing the bartenders pouring abilities… You’re pissed because they accepted a tip? Fuck you. This is their livelihood! This is what they do to pay their rent! How dare you have the audacity to question it! Was there a tip jar? C’mon, that’s tacky. No. Was there a basket? Nope. Still tacky. Did some super smart gentleman drop a bill down ON THE BAR and quietly suggest that the bartender take care of him? Yup. Smart move if you ask me. Well, to say that the MOB did not like the bartender accepting tips “because I already paid him” is putting it lightly. Did she freak out? Yeah… And LOUDLY! 

    Know what she said about the bartender? Actually, know what she shouted loudly about the bartender during the cocktail hour? “I hate him. He is disgusting.” REALLY? You hate him. He’s disgusting? OMG. Quit projecting lady; you're the disgusting one. It's not up to you if your guests want to take care of the bartender(s) for taking care of them. You can't ask your guests not to give an additional tip, and you can't ask the bartender not to take it. 'Tis the nature of the business. 

    So, bridey, if you're going to provide an open bar for your guests at your wedding, then remember these two key points. AHEM... 1. It's DEFINITELY going to be more than you anticipated (if you did not go for a pre-negotiated per person beverage price). 2. Your bartenders will make additional tips. PERIOD. No basket or tip jar required. And if you don't like it, too bad. Keep your mouth shut, or better yet? Get a muzzle for your mother.

    Image via Sweet Cocktails

    Tuesday
    Nov112014

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Trust the Process... When Time is Not of the Essence

    Sooo... I gotta say, I really lucked out this weekend. I worked with awesome clients who not only trusted me unequivocally, but also took my advice, hired vendors in my network and then let me do what I do best... Plan their event (and got the hell out of my way so I COULD do my job)! Because that is what I do best, brideys. Plan. And when you're in my face bossing me around and getting involved without fully understanding the nature of the beast (that is your event), you're only hurting yourself. Why? Well, let me explain.

    Yesterday morning, over a delicious boozy brunch, I was chatting with a vendor friend of mine who wasn't as lucky as I was with her bride from the weekend. Her client just couldn't let go. This chick micromanaged every single detail to the point of nearly ruining her wedding for the sake of being on time. Really? I'm sorry, but that's fucked up. I've said it a million times, bridey. It's not about the time things happen, it's about the order and flow in which they take place. The order of events will always trump the time they take place.

    Click to read more ...

    Tuesday
    Sep022014

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ When it's too Late to Negotiate

    Allow me to set the scene for you... You're at some luxury car dealership signing all of the paperwork, swiping your card for the deposit and soon your fancy ass will be gallivanting around in a FAB new car! You are totally in love with it, and you can't wait to drive off of the lot and show your friends! Anyway, fast forward about six or seven months... Suddenly you decide that you really should have gone with the package which included the navigation and the sunroof, so you dial the dude who sold you the car to initiate what you thought would be some friendly conversation.  

    Bridey: "Hi Dude, it's Bridey Macpherson, and I've decided that I really need to have the nav system and sunroof.

    Dude: "Hi Bridey. Allow me to look into that for you."

    Bridey: "What do you mean, 'look into that'?"

    Dude: "Well, I know that adding a sunroof is about $700.00, and that the addition of the nav can run you about $2,000.00, but let me check with the service department and get back to you." (Clearly, I am making up these numbers!!)

    Bridey: "I don't understand. I bought a car from you. I gave you my business. Surely there must be something you can do for me. I was really hoping that you could just make it happen for me."

    Dude: "Sorry Bridey, but you've already paid your deposit and drove off of my lot six months ago. If I didn't sell the car to you, I'd have sold it to somebody else."

    Bridey: "So, you won't do anything to help me?"

    NOOOOOOO... He won't!! Because does this line of conversation seem logical to you? I mean... Would you EVER try this stunt (and expect it to work) with the dude from the car dealership? No, you wouldn't... Well, then, please don't try it with the peeps at your wedding venue. Because we are all way too nice to call you fucking crazy and ignorant (to your face), even if you are just that, a crazy and ignorant bride. Here's the actual conversation between a bride-to-be, and her friendly wedding coordinator:

    Bridey: "Hi wedding coordinator (WC), I've decided that I really need to give my guests a third entrée option. Let's add the salmon into the equation. What's the exact verbiage again? My invitations are going out next week, and I want to be sure it's correct."

    WC: "Bridey, I'll email you the appropriate verbiage and I'll check with the chef and get back to you with the per person pricing for the additional entrée."

    Bridey: "What do you mean, WC? I don't understand... Why would there be an additional cost?"

    WC: "Well, if you are looking to provide your guests a third option, you are asking that the chef prepare three separate meals, and there's an additional charge." 

    Bridey: "WC, I don't know if you realize this, but we are giving your establishment a lot of business. We are practically taking over for the weekend. I really think you need to make it happen for me."

    WC: "If it were up to me, I absolutely would make it happen for you, but there is only so much I can do considering that your wedding is during one of the busiest times for the property."

    REALLY? I've gone through this a million times... Bridey, why on earth do you think that anybody needs to "make something happen" for you simply because you chose to give them your business? REALITY CHECK... What do you think would happen if you walked into Nordstrom and told the sales associate that because you bought expensive shoes in their store a month ago, they should just give you some sunglasses? Sounds completely ludicrous, right? Well, that's essentially what you are asking of your wedding coordinator except for some reason, it only seems ludicrous when she CAN'T "make it happen".

    Bridey, if providing your guests with three entrée selections is important to you, fine. But, this is the kind of thing that must be negotiated (if it's not included) BEFORE you sign the contract. Then, if the sales person can "make it happen" for you, then they will. But, if it is the busiest time of the year for this establishment, they might just tell you "too bad" because another bride will pay the same money and have far less demands...

    Image via From up North

    Tuesday
    Jul222014

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Getting to Know Bitchless Bride... My Life After My Wedding

    By the time you read this, I will be 37 years old. Wow... Could I be more dramatic? But, seriously, I feel like I just got married, and my trip down the aisle was ten years ago! TEN FUCKING YEARS! Oh my God! I was 27!! And maybe I'm still obsessed with weddings because I'm in "the industry", and all I do is eat, breathe and sleep it, or maybe it's because I eloped and never had a wedding to call my own, but no matter what, it still feels like my "wedding" was yesterday. The only difference? My perspective is completely different than it was ten years ago. And you know what? I lucked the fuck out.

    Why am I so lucky? Well, see the pic? That's the card my hus got for me for my birthday (along with these...). And when I met this guy, I wasn't ready at all. Like... AT ALL!! Fast forward fourteen years later (we were together four years before he proposed)... Dude is the father of my child, responsible for several (almost painful) belly laughs and putting up with my bullshit. When I really think about it, we are light years away from where we were on our wedding day. And for some reason my birthday got me thinking about how different life is now, than before even having started with a solid foundation before we said "I do."

    I'd say that the absolutely scariest part of my marriage was when my hus nearly died less than a year after we got married.

    Click to read more ...