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    Entries in wedding (106)

    Tuesday
    Jun232015

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ FLASHBACK: Either Listen to Your Heart or Listen to Your Divorce Attorney!  

    ***Because wedding planning is hard enough... Bridey, don't go through the motions if your emotions are pulling you in the opposite direction. Seriously, if you think wedding planning is tough, then marriage is going to rock your precious little world. Take it from us, your vendors... And don't forget to read the comments.***

    January 13, 2013:

    Okay… The Truth Hurts Tuesday is back with a bang! Seriously brideys, I am not messing around today. Here’s the bottom line… If you are being taunted by that little voice inside your head, you know, the one that is saying something like, “Run, bridey, run! WHAT am I doing, and how do I get out of this?” then perhaps you should take a step back and listen to what the voice is trying to tell you. If it ain’t right, then don’t get married. Period. Because it’s a hell of a lot easier to call off the wedding before it takes place than to go through with it and settle for a life you don’t want. And I know it’s scary, bridey, and I know it’s embarrassing, but you know what’s much scarier than calling off a wedding? The realization that when the party is over, and all of the guests have gone home, that you just married to the wrong person.

    As a wedding planner I see a lot of shit. I mean, Bitchless Bride STARTED because of the craziness I see, and have to deal with way too often. But, the worst part for me and probably for any wedding planner? Is watching the couples who are clearly not meant for each other, spending a ton of time and money making decisions about the stupid linen and flowers, when the biggest decision they should be focusing on is if they are actually right for each other. It’s painful knowing that the couple you are working with aren’t going to make it… I mean, if I can see it, then why can’t they? Or, do they and they’re just to afraid to do something about it?

    Obviously, I am especially fired up today. The wedding industry is small, and the word on the street is that a couple I worked with recently is getting divorced; four months after they got married. And although we (industry peeps) all knew it was inevitable, I don’t think that any of us thought it was going to happen quite so soon. And not to sound completely selfish, but planning this wedding wasn’t particularly easy. It was a destination wedding, there were some seriously wacked family dynamics, and the bride was a super selfish, super self-important bitch. Thank goodness we all worked so hard on the details (she says sarcastically). Thank goodness all of US saw the signs, but the bride and groom missed them; or decided to miss them.

    Seriously brideys, people don’t change, so don’t expect your relationships to change either. Is your soon to be mother-in-law a giant pain in the ass; always causing complications between you and your man? Then she will always get the best of you. Is your man is extremely possessive? Then he will always be extremely possessive. And you know that thing you two always fight about? Yeah, that won’t change either. It will ALWAYS make its way into your next argument.

    Maybe it’s simpler than all of that. Perhaps you just aren’t positive about the man. But, one thing’s for sure, bridey, if you are already dealing with some fundamental problems or doubts, it’s not going to change and most likely it’ll probably escalate. So if it’s not something you can fix now, you will never fix it. And if sucks now, it will suck later.

    The moral of the story? Listen to your heart. Listen to that voice screaming its head off inside of you. Because I promise you, bridey, you are strong enough to make the right decision no matter how much it scares you. Got it?

    Do you feel stuck in a relationship you know isn't right for you? Maybe BB can help! Leave your story here!

    {Image via Hercampus.com}

    Tuesday
    Jun092015

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ FLASHBACK: A Tale of Two Mentalities

    ***Here we go again... I seem to be working with quite a few newly engaged brides, and therefore, I thought I would educate you a bit on educating your bridesmaids. But, why reinvent the wheel? Right? I loved this post, bridey, so, just read it!!! It will give you some insight into those bridesmaids of yours... ***

    February 7, 2012 

    It was the best of times, it was the worst of times… Unfortunately, some of your bridal party might feel this way after participating in your wedding. Don’t let this Charles Dickens mentality get the best of you! Brides, you must be clear with the friends and family you choose to be in your bridal party. Let them know what your expectations are at the beginning so that they have the opportunity to turn down your lovely offer, and sit with the rest of us in the pews if they are not willing to or do not want to live up to your dream.  

    Okay, stop being a bitch and listen… Think about it this way… You know when you don’t want to do something or you don’t understand how to do it, so you just don’t do it? Well, welcome to the psyche of about 95% of your bridesmaids (and I’m sorry to say, possibly even your maid of honor… aka: MOH). Depending on your age, your bridal party may be inexperienced, uninformed and probably doesn’t understand the enormous undertaking they signed up for when they eagerly accepted their role as your bridesmaid. I promise you, in most cases, it’s not that they don’t want to do all of those bridal things for you; it’s just that they don’t know how or even that they have such great responsibilities. That’s where you come in. Educate them. Be involved (but, not too involved), offer guidance and advice, but don’t overdo it. Remember, similarly to your fiancé, they cannot read your mind. So tell them that you were thinking Vegas or NYC for your bachelorette party, that you want a hotel bridal shower and that your MOH is to act as a liaison between you and your mother on your wedding day. Start kicking ass if they start to slack knowing your expectations, but not before.

    Looking back (way back) into my early 20s, I am embarrassed to admit that I completely failed as a bridesmaid for one of my besties. She was among the first to get married and I was clueless. I actually missed her shower because I was hung over (not a proud moment), didn’t go to her bachelorette party (or even help to plan it) and only gave $100.00 for her wedding gift. And I call myself a planner…? Right? But, I had NO idea the immense responsibility I carried with that ugly dress. Had I known, I would have taken a seat with everybody else, or asked a few more questions about her expectations in the beginning.

    So please, once you finally decide who gets to wear the dress, make your voice heard! Tell them what you want, and allow them to make it their choice if they are up for the task. Got it? Good. You’re welcome.

    Tuesday
    Jan132015

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ BB is Losing Faith in Humanity

    This is an unbelievable story. Seriously. Even I can't believe it... But, bridey, listen... I have to change a few of the details or else this client will absolutely know that I am talking about her. And considering what a crazy fucking bitch she is, I wouldn't be surprised if she hunted my ass down if she accidentally stumbled across this post! Cool? Great. Here it goes...

    So, from inception, this client was somewhat of a pain in the ass. Like, she knew that she needed planning assistance (and, I was the lucky planner... probably because I was the only one to call her back), but raged against the machine from the very beginning. It was like she hated that she needed help. Not only was she was late to appointments, but when she finally did arrive, she wasn't really engaged during conversation. Between that bullshit and he missing scheduled phone calls, this bitch didn't pay me until the day of the event (seriously, I almost didn't show up myself!). So, there are the CliffsNotes. Now let's get to the meat.

    Fast forward to the day of the event... I was pacing until I saw her (holding my fucking check!), and when I finally did, she was her usual unemotional, bitchy self. All I kept thinking is that I couldn't wait for the event to be over. And if you've gotten to know me at all, that's not my MO. I love seeing my events come together; all the hard work coming through to fruition is the best feeling in the whole world! Anyway... So, the event is going well, somewhat anticlimactic, and then somebody took a fall and smacked their head. YIKES!

    The worst part? It was a kid. Yup. A fucking kid took a digger and smacked the back of her head while getting her groove on... I had hired some fantastic entertainment, and this kid was rockin' hard on the dance floor, and then fell... OYE! So, procedure at the venue was to call 911. Yes, a bit drastic, but considering it was a kid, I really had no objection if the EMTs checked her out, but... my client? This bitch wasn't happy.

    Click to read more ...

    Tuesday
    Dec092014

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Get a Muzzle for Your Mother! When Open Bar Turns Ugly...

    You know what? I have FUCKING had it!!! To say that I am appalled at the behavior I have witnessed tonight would be the fucking understatement of the year. Seriously, I have never had to suppress the urge to backhand a mother of the bride in my entire career until now. And, trust me; I have had some pretty awful MOBs, but tonight? Oh dear God. 

    Let’s talk about the bar at your wedding, shall we, bridey? Look, I have not made it a secret that I hate cash bars. That said, as a planner I’ve worked with clients who don’t have the means to purchase drinks for 150 of their closest friends and family members. These brides would rather spend their money on food and décor, and that’s just fine. I don’t have to like it, but I totally get it. But, on the flip side, bridey, if you choose to keep the bar open, then keep the fucking bar open and shut your fucking eyes. Don’t monitor each and every drink that is poured, drunk and then cleared by the staff. Don’t scrutinize the bartenders with your devil eyes (ahem… MOB). If you were at all concerned about the bar bill adding up, then you should have negotiated a per person package price for the booze BEFORE the wedding. Because a bar based on the number of beverages consumed can add up, and quickly.

    “I don’t have a drinking crowd.” She said. Bullshit. Yes you do. Once your guests realize that they are not responsible for buying their own cocktails, you’re fucked. Because NOW, my dear, you have a drinking crowd. Somebody else is paying for their booze, so OF COURSE your guests are going to take full advantage! They’re going to drink their fucking faces off!

    Annnnndddd…. Besides, scrutinizing the bartenders pouring abilities… You’re pissed because they accepted a tip? Fuck you. This is their livelihood! This is what they do to pay their rent! How dare you have the audacity to question it! Was there a tip jar? C’mon, that’s tacky. No. Was there a basket? Nope. Still tacky. Did some super smart gentleman drop a bill down ON THE BAR and quietly suggest that the bartender take care of him? Yup. Smart move if you ask me. Well, to say that the MOB did not like the bartender accepting tips “because I already paid him” is putting it lightly. Did she freak out? Yeah… And LOUDLY! 

    Know what she said about the bartender? Actually, know what she shouted loudly about the bartender during the cocktail hour? “I hate him. He is disgusting.” REALLY? You hate him. He’s disgusting? OMG. Quit projecting lady; you're the disgusting one. It's not up to you if your guests want to take care of the bartender(s) for taking care of them. You can't ask your guests not to give an additional tip, and you can't ask the bartender not to take it. 'Tis the nature of the business. 

    So, bridey, if you're going to provide an open bar for your guests at your wedding, then remember these two key points. AHEM... 1. It's DEFINITELY going to be more than you anticipated (if you did not go for a pre-negotiated per person beverage price). 2. Your bartenders will make additional tips. PERIOD. No basket or tip jar required. And if you don't like it, too bad. Keep your mouth shut, or better yet? Get a muzzle for your mother.

    Image via Sweet Cocktails

    Tuesday
    Nov112014

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Trust the Process... When Time is Not of the Essence

    Sooo... I gotta say, I really lucked out this weekend. I worked with awesome clients who not only trusted me unequivocally, but also took my advice, hired vendors in my network and then let me do what I do best... Plan their event (and got the hell out of my way so I COULD do my job)! Because that is what I do best, brideys. Plan. And when you're in my face bossing me around and getting involved without fully understanding the nature of the beast (that is your event), you're only hurting yourself. Why? Well, let me explain.

    Yesterday morning, over a delicious boozy brunch, I was chatting with a vendor friend of mine who wasn't as lucky as I was with her bride from the weekend. Her client just couldn't let go. This chick micromanaged every single detail to the point of nearly ruining her wedding for the sake of being on time. Really? I'm sorry, but that's fucked up. I've said it a million times, bridey. It's not about the time things happen, it's about the order and flow in which they take place. The order of events will always trump the time they take place.

    Click to read more ...