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    Entries in wedding (101)

    Tuesday
    Sep022014

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ When it's too Late to Negotiate

    Allow me to set the scene for you... You're at some luxury car dealership signing all of the paperwork, swiping your card for the deposit and soon your fancy ass will be gallivanting around in a FAB new car! You are totally in love with it, and you can't wait to drive off of the lot and show your friends! Anyway, fast forward about six or seven months... Suddenly you decide that you really should have gone with the package which included the navigation and the sunroof, so you dial the dude who sold you the car to initiate what you thought would be some friendly conversation.  

    Bridey: "Hi Dude, it's Bridey Macpherson, and I've decided that I really need to have the nav system and sunroof.

    Dude: "Hi Bridey. Allow me to look into that for you."

    Bridey: "What do you mean, 'look into that'?"

    Dude: "Well, I know that adding a sunroof is about $700.00, and that the addition of the nav can run you about $2,000.00, but let me check with the service department and get back to you." (Clearly, I am making up these numbers!!)

    Bridey: "I don't understand. I bought a car from you. I gave you my business. Surely there must be something you can do for me. I was really hoping that you could just make it happen for me."

    Dude: "Sorry Bridey, but you've already paid your deposit and drove off of my lot six months ago. If I didn't sell the car to you, I'd have sold it to somebody else."

    Bridey: "So, you won't do anything to help me?"

    NOOOOOOO... He won't!! Because does this line of conversation seem logical to you? I mean... Would you EVER try this stunt (and expect it to work) with the dude from the car dealership? No, you wouldn't... Well, then, please don't try it with the peeps at your wedding venue. Because we are all way too nice to call you fucking crazy and ignorant (to your face), even if you are just that, a crazy and ignorant bride. Here's the actual conversation between a bride-to-be, and her friendly wedding coordinator:

    Bridey: "Hi wedding coordinator (WC), I've decided that I really need to give my guests a third entrée option. Let's add the salmon into the equation. What's the exact verbiage again? My invitations are going out next week, and I want to be sure it's correct."

    WC: "Bridey, I'll email you the appropriate verbiage and I'll check with the chef and get back to you with the per person pricing for the additional entrée."

    Bridey: "What do you mean, WC? I don't understand... Why would there be an additional cost?"

    WC: "Well, if you are looking to provide your guests a third option, you are asking that the chef prepare three separate meals, and there's an additional charge." 

    Bridey: "WC, I don't know if you realize this, but we are giving your establishment a lot of business. We are practically taking over for the weekend. I really think you need to make it happen for me."

    WC: "If it were up to me, I absolutely would make it happen for you, but there is only so much I can do considering that your wedding is during one of the busiest times for the property."

    REALLY? I've gone through this a million times... Bridey, why on earth do you think that anybody needs to "make something happen" for you simply because you chose to give them your business? REALITY CHECK... What do you think would happen if you walked into Nordstrom and told the sales associate that because you bought expensive shoes in their store a month ago, they should just give you some sunglasses? Sounds completely ludicrous, right? Well, that's essentially what you are asking of your wedding coordinator except for some reason, it only seems ludicrous when she CAN'T "make it happen".

    Bridey, if providing your guests with three entrée selections is important to you, fine. But, this is the kind of thing that must be negotiated (if it's not included) BEFORE you sign the contract. Then, if the sales person can "make it happen" for you, then they will. But, if it is the busiest time of the year for this establishment, they might just tell you "too bad" because another bride will pay the same money and have far less demands...

    Image via From up North

    Tuesday
    Jul222014

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Getting to Know Bitchless Bride... My Life After My Wedding

    By the time you read this, I will be 37 years old. Wow... Could I be more dramatic? But, seriously, I feel like I just got married, and my trip down the aisle was ten years ago! TEN FUCKING YEARS! Oh my God! I was 27!! And maybe I'm still obsessed with weddings because I'm in "the industry", and all I do is eat, breathe and sleep it, or maybe it's because I eloped and never had a wedding to call my own, but no matter what, it still feels like my "wedding" was yesterday. The only difference? My perspective is completely different than it was ten years ago. And you know what? I lucked the fuck out.

    Why am I so lucky? Well, see the pic? That's the card my hus got for me for my birthday (along with these...). And when I met this guy, I wasn't ready at all. Like... AT ALL!! Fast forward fourteen years later (we were together four years before he proposed)... Dude is the father of my child, responsible for several (almost painful) belly laughs and putting up with my bullshit. When I really think about it, we are light years away from where we were on our wedding day. And for some reason my birthday got me thinking about how different life is now, than before even having started with a solid foundation before we said "I do."

    I'd say that the absolutely scariest part of my marriage was when my hus nearly died less than a year after we got married.

    Click to read more ...

    Tuesday
    Jul152014

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Time to Educate Your Rude Guests, Bridey!

    I want to stand up and shout, "HELL YEAH"! I want to applaud until my hands hurt because now there is proof; now there is evidence of just how fucking rude people can be. Let me fill you in... Read this article on Distractify, but in a nutshell, a popular restaurant in NYC hired a firm to help them determine why a common complaint was slow service, or that it took too long to get seated. They had done everything in their power to increase service standards, and even though they serve approximately the same number of guests as they did ten years ago, they are receiving mediocre service scores. The culprit? The patron AND THEIR PHONE! Shockingly, there is a direct correlation to slow service, and not because of the servers or a slow kitchen, but because of the guest! People are so obsessed with their goddamn phones that it's actually creating a kink in the service industry! And now there's proof!!!

    You're probably thinking, "That's great, BB, but what does this have to do with planning my wedding?". FAB question, bridey. This affects you in the same way that it affects restaurants (probably all over the world). Huh? How?

    1. Your rehearsal dinner is at a restaurant. So, after reading the article on Distractify, I'm guessing that you are now mentally fast forwarding to your lovely prenup dinner, and praying that your guests put their phones down and leave the servers alone so that their meals are served promptly and hot. Am I right? 

    The solution? Place a tent card on each table asking that your guests take their own pictures, and let the servers serve; not to be confused with a photographer!

    2. Getting to your wedding day... How about we start with your ceremony, shall we? Part of my new(ish) MO is to walk up and down the aisle and politely (no really, I can be polite) remind your guests to turn their phones to silent or airplane mode. Listen, I certainly don't have the audacity to ask your peeps to turn their cherished phones all the way off... Because I mean, I know how uncomfortable that can be, but sadly, more so than ever, I need to remind people not to be rude! And that means silencing their phones as you exchange your vows!

    The solution? If you're providing ceremony programs, at the bottom of the page, place a friendly reminder to silence all phones. Not providing progams? Then have the officiant remind your guests to silence their phones before beginning the ceremony.

    3. You know how many times I have seen servers put down their trays (filled with delicious passed hors d'oeuvres) to take photographs of guests? Let's just say that if your cocktail hour is just that, an hour, I would say that a good 15 minutes is spent with servers, trays down, and your guest's iPhones in hand. And who do you think will complain that they "didn't even see a passed hors d'oeuvre"? Every single elderly relative (who doesn't get the whole phone thing), will ultimately blame the bride

    Click to read more ...

    Tuesday
    Nov122013

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Quit F*cking Around, Bridey

    **Written by The Peeved Planner"

    My Dearest Brides,

    Please understand that we, as wedding planners, love you. If we didn't, then we wouldn't be in this business. I love everything about planning a wedding, seeing the plans come together and the big day, and well, it just makes me smile. 

    I think back to the time when you and I were just starting out… Looking at venues, sending you off to do tastings, picking out flowers, you know, all the fun stuff. I also think about how you stressed me out more than my 4 yr. old. Ya, you deary, you did that to me. 

    Girls (and guys), my job is to narrow down your choices and offer you some that will fit within your budget and style. I offer you a few fab venues out of the 4000 or so that are out there, bakeries that will make the type of cake or desserts you want, hook you up with a bad ass florist, hold your hand while we check out linens, décor and such. Because that’s my job. Basically, it’s my job is to narrow down and weed out the vendors that won’t work for you and offer choices that will, (and have you make a timely decision on which one you like). Did you catch that, bridey? YOU make a timely decision!   

    Deciding three days before your wedding to change your mind? Well, that’s pretty ridiculous. Oh, NOW you want your hair and makeup done by "the girl" you met with more than two months ago? Really? And then, not understanding why she isn't available?? Seriously?? Oh, and your friend, the wanna be florist, who you “trust with your life”, you know, the one who said that she might be able to do your flowers, but instead she bailed? (Not going to say, “I told you so.”) Great. So now, here I am begging any and all of the florists in my network (a week before your wedding) to do your arrangements and not upcharge you for the short notice, simply because you decided that you didn’t need a “real” florist even though I begged and pleaded with you to get one. Bridey, I know the wedding is all about you, but having me, and my vendors scramble at the last minute because you can’t or won’t make a decision is pretty crappy.   

    Here’s another thing, please don’t lie to me! 

    Click to read more ...

    Tuesday
    Oct292013

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Bridey’s Remorse… What to do When You THINK You Hate Your Venue?

    We’ve all had buyer’s remorse, right? Be it a fantastic dress, pair of shoes or even something a bit bigger, like a car or a condo. I mean, it’s really amazing how awesome that dress can look in the fitting room, and then somewhere between the fitting room and your closet, that sucker takes a turn for the worse, and when you look in your own mirror, your ass looks like a pumpkin. And yes, I’m totally speaking from personal experience! That dress and my ass did not get along! But, what happens when we’re not talking about a dress; something that you can return without consequence (well, besides a huge hit to your ego!)? What happens when we are talking about the venue for your wedding? Scary thought, right? Yeah…

    The reason I’m bringing this up is because I’m starting to see a pattern, brideys… It goes something like this… You secure a venue for your wedding that you are really excited about, begin planning your day, and then you start doubting your excitement as you attend other weddings and events and see all of the cool and different venues that you clearly missed out on. Sound familiar? For some of you, depending on how far away you are from your wedding day, that’s okay. Well, it’s okay if your cool losing your non-refundable deposit (usually ranging from about $2,500 - $5,000), but it starts NOT being okay when you are about a month away from your wedding, designing your floor plan and suddenly you decide that you hate your venue. Yeah, that’s when it starts getting excruciating!

    Click to read more ...