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    Entries in wedding (108)


    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ When the Bride Knows More Than Her Planner... REALLY??

    I had to share this vendor vent with you, bridey. And, I had to put it front and center because I think it's safe to say that pretty much every wedding planner I know gets frustrated when the bride (or the couple) thinks she knows more than her planner. It's irritating. It's annoying. It's fucking grounds for dropping you as a client. Seriously, bridey, don't bother hiring a wedding planner if you're going to challenge her/his every move. Do it yourself. Be a DIY bride, and I'm not talking about making your own centerpieces; I'm talking about planning your own damn wedding.

    Written by Mrs. Peacock:

    Hello! OK, so, I love your blog. As a planner, I feel like it should be required reading for all my brides and grooms. (Ahem... Me too!!) Thanks for giving us vendors a place to commiserate.

    Anyways, one of your posts - Bridey, Don't Go Away Mad, Just Go Away!, really resonated with me.

    Yes. So. Many. Times. Yes.

    How I wish I followed this advice and my own intuition with my last bride + groom. You know those couples who think that they know how to plan a wedding better than their planner does? They often go hand in hand with the my wedding has to look exactly like this million dollar wedding but at a tiny fraction of the price couple? And so often, throughout the planning, you know that these people are going to find reason to be upset about something, so what's the point in bending over backwards to try to make them happy? The type that treat you like you are their personal assistant that they have always wanted to have just to abuse? The ones who flat out refuse to listen to your (and all the other vendors!) skilled advice, and then when things don't go according to plan (just as you told them it would) precisely BECAUSE of their own ill advised choices, they berate you for it? Yeah, it was one of those couples.

    I knew I should've walked away in the early stages but I didn't because -and here's the kicker- they were friends of mine. Friends of mine who had hidden the entitled vicious privileged brat side of them very well over the years. Friends of mine who clearly viewed the roles of Bride and Groom as tyrannical King and Queen. And yes, I've learned my lesson working with friends now. But the point is, had I just walked away from what was clearly going to be a losing situation, I could've saved myself a lot of stress, time, heartache, and unfortunately, a friendship.

    - Mrs. Peacock


    Basically, bridey? If you hire a wedding planner, then it's up to you to decide to trust her/him. Make a conscious choice to trust her/him, just as you would with any other professional you hire in any other aspect of your life. If not, then plan it yourself.

    Image via Friar Tux Shop


    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ The Truth About Your Wedding...

    We've been told throughout our entire lives that honesty is the best policy. It begins in kindergarten and morphs into something much deeper as we age. I mean, just look at Pinterest. Seriously, there are millions of quotes littered on Pinterest about honesty and truth... "Children and fools speak true," by John Lyly or "A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal," by Oscar Wilde. And, honesty really is the best policy, right? RIGHT, bridey?? Well, it should be, although in so many cases, it's not. And, 99% of the time, when it comes to our friends getting married, we sugarcoat the truth or simply lie. And, it's time to discuss WHY.

    If you think about it, our lying and sincerity about being in a wedding (and sometimes even attending a wedding) is entirely widespread and universal. (Remember this video?): 

    We talk about it all of the time... Just not to the person who desperately needs to hear it, the bride! I've spent over three years educating brides on how not to be a bitch while planning her wedding, and when I saw, "If Bridesmaids Were Honest", I felt justified. I felt like chicks are finally starting to talk about the bullshit behavior and expectations that weddings tend to draw out in even the most lovely bride. So, enough sugarcoating! Talk about how you feel with the bride! Tell her you can't afford the dress or the bachelorette party! Ladies, bridesmaids lose friends because of weddings, and it's not because they were fucking the groom. It's because they resent the bride. They resent her attitude, they resent her entitlement and they resent her complete obliviousness to how they are feeling.

    Please learn something from this bridesmaids video. Yes, it's funny, but more than that, it's true! So, stop letting your bridey friend get away with her shit attitude, and for the love of God, tell the truth! 

    Video via Kelsey Darragh, BuzzFeed


    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ FLASHBACK: Either Listen to Your Heart or Listen to Your Divorce Attorney!  

    ***Because wedding planning is hard enough... Bridey, don't go through the motions if your emotions are pulling you in the opposite direction. Seriously, if you think wedding planning is tough, then marriage is going to rock your precious little world. Take it from us, your vendors... And don't forget to read the comments.***

    January 13, 2013:

    Okay… The Truth Hurts Tuesday is back with a bang! Seriously brideys, I am not messing around today. Here’s the bottom line… If you are being taunted by that little voice inside your head, you know, the one that is saying something like, “Run, bridey, run! WHAT am I doing, and how do I get out of this?” then perhaps you should take a step back and listen to what the voice is trying to tell you. If it ain’t right, then don’t get married. Period. Because it’s a hell of a lot easier to call off the wedding before it takes place than to go through with it and settle for a life you don’t want. And I know it’s scary, bridey, and I know it’s embarrassing, but you know what’s much scarier than calling off a wedding? The realization that when the party is over, and all of the guests have gone home, that you just married to the wrong person.

    As a wedding planner I see a lot of shit. I mean, Bitchless Bride STARTED because of the craziness I see, and have to deal with way too often. But, the worst part for me and probably for any wedding planner? Is watching the couples who are clearly not meant for each other, spending a ton of time and money making decisions about the stupid linen and flowers, when the biggest decision they should be focusing on is if they are actually right for each other. It’s painful knowing that the couple you are working with aren’t going to make it… I mean, if I can see it, then why can’t they? Or, do they and they’re just to afraid to do something about it?

    Obviously, I am especially fired up today. The wedding industry is small, and the word on the street is that a couple I worked with recently is getting divorced; four months after they got married. And although we (industry peeps) all knew it was inevitable, I don’t think that any of us thought it was going to happen quite so soon. And not to sound completely selfish, but planning this wedding wasn’t particularly easy. It was a destination wedding, there were some seriously wacked family dynamics, and the bride was a super selfish, super self-important bitch. Thank goodness we all worked so hard on the details (she says sarcastically). Thank goodness all of US saw the signs, but the bride and groom missed them; or decided to miss them.

    Seriously brideys, people don’t change, so don’t expect your relationships to change either. Is your soon to be mother-in-law a giant pain in the ass; always causing complications between you and your man? Then she will always get the best of you. Is your man is extremely possessive? Then he will always be extremely possessive. And you know that thing you two always fight about? Yeah, that won’t change either. It will ALWAYS make its way into your next argument.

    Maybe it’s simpler than all of that. Perhaps you just aren’t positive about the man. But, one thing’s for sure, bridey, if you are already dealing with some fundamental problems or doubts, it’s not going to change and most likely it’ll probably escalate. So if it’s not something you can fix now, you will never fix it. And if sucks now, it will suck later.

    The moral of the story? Listen to your heart. Listen to that voice screaming its head off inside of you. Because I promise you, bridey, you are strong enough to make the right decision no matter how much it scares you. Got it?

    Do you feel stuck in a relationship you know isn't right for you? Maybe BB can help! Leave your story here!

    {Image via Hercampus.com}


    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ FLASHBACK: A Tale of Two Mentalities

    ***Here we go again... I seem to be working with quite a few newly engaged brides, and therefore, I thought I would educate you a bit on educating your bridesmaids. But, why reinvent the wheel? Right? I loved this post, bridey, so, just read it!!! It will give you some insight into those bridesmaids of yours... ***

    February 7, 2012 

    It was the best of times, it was the worst of times… Unfortunately, some of your bridal party might feel this way after participating in your wedding. Don’t let this Charles Dickens mentality get the best of you! Brides, you must be clear with the friends and family you choose to be in your bridal party. Let them know what your expectations are at the beginning so that they have the opportunity to turn down your lovely offer, and sit with the rest of us in the pews if they are not willing to or do not want to live up to your dream.  

    Okay, stop being a bitch and listen… Think about it this way… You know when you don’t want to do something or you don’t understand how to do it, so you just don’t do it? Well, welcome to the psyche of about 95% of your bridesmaids (and I’m sorry to say, possibly even your maid of honor… aka: MOH). Depending on your age, your bridal party may be inexperienced, uninformed and probably doesn’t understand the enormous undertaking they signed up for when they eagerly accepted their role as your bridesmaid. I promise you, in most cases, it’s not that they don’t want to do all of those bridal things for you; it’s just that they don’t know how or even that they have such great responsibilities. That’s where you come in. Educate them. Be involved (but, not too involved), offer guidance and advice, but don’t overdo it. Remember, similarly to your fiancé, they cannot read your mind. So tell them that you were thinking Vegas or NYC for your bachelorette party, that you want a hotel bridal shower and that your MOH is to act as a liaison between you and your mother on your wedding day. Start kicking ass if they start to slack knowing your expectations, but not before.

    Looking back (way back) into my early 20s, I am embarrassed to admit that I completely failed as a bridesmaid for one of my besties. She was among the first to get married and I was clueless. I actually missed her shower because I was hung over (not a proud moment), didn’t go to her bachelorette party (or even help to plan it) and only gave $100.00 for her wedding gift. And I call myself a planner…? Right? But, I had NO idea the immense responsibility I carried with that ugly dress. Had I known, I would have taken a seat with everybody else, or asked a few more questions about her expectations in the beginning.

    So please, once you finally decide who gets to wear the dress, make your voice heard! Tell them what you want, and allow them to make it their choice if they are up for the task. Got it? Good. You’re welcome.


    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ BB is Losing Faith in Humanity

    This is an unbelievable story. Seriously. Even I can't believe it... But, bridey, listen... I have to change a few of the details or else this client will absolutely know that I am talking about her. And considering what a crazy fucking bitch she is, I wouldn't be surprised if she hunted my ass down if she accidentally stumbled across this post! Cool? Great. Here it goes...

    So, from inception, this client was somewhat of a pain in the ass. Like, she knew that she needed planning assistance (and, I was the lucky planner... probably because I was the only one to call her back), but raged against the machine from the very beginning. It was like she hated that she needed help. Not only was she was late to appointments, but when she finally did arrive, she wasn't really engaged during conversation. Between that bullshit and he missing scheduled phone calls, this bitch didn't pay me until the day of the event (seriously, I almost didn't show up myself!). So, there are the CliffsNotes. Now let's get to the meat.

    Fast forward to the day of the event... I was pacing until I saw her (holding my fucking check!), and when I finally did, she was her usual unemotional, bitchy self. All I kept thinking is that I couldn't wait for the event to be over. And if you've gotten to know me at all, that's not my MO. I love seeing my events come together; all the hard work coming through to fruition is the best feeling in the whole world! Anyway... So, the event is going well, somewhat anticlimactic, and then somebody took a fall and smacked their head. YIKES!

    The worst part? It was a kid. Yup. A fucking kid took a digger and smacked the back of her head while getting her groove on... I had hired some fantastic entertainment, and this kid was rockin' hard on the dance floor, and then fell... OYE! So, procedure at the venue was to call 911. Yes, a bit drastic, but considering it was a kid, I really had no objection if the EMTs checked her out, but... my client? This bitch wasn't happy.

    Click to read more ...