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    Entries in wedding day (14)

    Tuesday
    Dec022014

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Wedding Planning... It's Only Temporary, Bridey

    I had brunch with a close friend of mine recently, and this chick? Well, she's pretty fucking KICKASS!! And not because she's the CEO of some company or because she's got her shit together, but because of her perspective, bridey. You know, my favorite word in the whole wide world! PERSPECTIVE!! They say that you never know where your inspiration is going to come from, and let's just say that today's post hit me like a ton of bricks. You see, my kickass friend? Well, she's going through some awful shit these days. I won't get into the gory details, but it seems like all of the craziness is happening to her all at once. You know the saying about how shit happens in 3s? I seriously think this is her fourth or fifth. And instead of wallowing in her sorrow (which I would probably succumb to myself), she just keeps casually uttering, "It's only temporary." Wow. So simple, yet hard to do...

    As a wedding planner, I've watched some pretty cool girls get rocked by their wedding planning simply because planning your wedding and real life are oftentimes a tough mix. But, as I listened to my friend say that, "It's only temporary", it kinda got me thinking about her healthy outlook. Instead of slipping into a dark place and lashing out at her friends and family, everyday she rises above how she feels, and looks forward; something that I think is really hard for all of us to do. How do you fit into this, bridey?

    Well, if you look at planning your wedding as something that is only temporary, adjust your perspective (during the particularly difficult times like dealing with family dynamics and budget constraints) and realize that a year from now, life will most likely be totally different (depending on when you are getting married) then you too should be able to utter the phrase, "It's only temporary." The key? You'll actually have to adjust your thinking and believe in that statement. It won't be easy and it probably won't alleviate the stress and bullshit you are dealing with instantaneously, but it has the power of preventing you from getting in your own way, and rising above...

     

    Click to read more ...

    Tuesday
    Oct072014

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ 5 Ways to Show Your Bridesmaids the LOVE!

    Bridey, there's been some serious hype about the awful way brides treat their bridesmaids these days. So, after the millionth story I've heard in like two weeks, I thought I would throw in my two cents because I just can't stand it anymore! The problem is, is that I could probably throw in a fucking dollar, and nothing would change. Because this seems to be an ongoing dilemma. A dilemma that doesn't change no matter what anybody says or writes or who says or writes it! So, let me give it another shot.

    Back in February of 2013, I wrote about how to keep your bridesmaids happy, and now I have a little more to add. This time I will keep it simple so maybe it will sink in:

    1. Throw a bash! Bridey, once you have asked your girls to be your 'maids get everybody together, and have a little party. Perhaps some of them don't know each other or know each other well? Then this is a perfect way to introduce them. Party with them, drink with them and have fun together! By the time your wedding rolls around, these chicks will be psyched to see each other which will make your day even that much more exciting! (Even better? Invite the groom and his men. One of my clients met her hus-to-be at an initial gathering of the 'maids and men! True story.)

    2. At your big bash, ask them what they'd like to wear on your big day. That's not to say that they can have carte blanche, but let them know that their opinion is valuable and important, and then work around their feedback. After all, they are (most likely) paying for the dress! At least give them a shot of being able wear it again! (Best way to do that? Little black dress, baby!) 

    3. Accept them for who they are. Perhaps one of your girls is rockin' some crazy (awesome) hot pink hair or a new tat or a shaved head? Bridey, I know it's killing you, but don't say a fucking word about changing their appearance. Leave it alone. You asked them to be in your wedding, and they are supporting you, so it is only fair that you support their choices too.

    4. Want the girls to look their best on your wedding day? Then it's up to you to pay for their hair and make up services. Bridey, they've dished out a ton of moola to be at your wedding (um, the bridesmaid dress, shoes, shower, shower present, bachelorette party, etc...), the least you can do give back. And while you're in the giving mood, I hope your girls enjoyed the bridesmaids gifts you gave them (something super personal, and thoughtful, right?)! 

    5. Get crazy with your girls! It's your wedding day! Have some fun! Order some champagne, and some food and enjoy this time with your 'maids. Focus on losing the "stress" and just have a ball; let go. I mean, you're surrounded by your best friends, getting all dolled up and you're getting married!!! Holy shit!! So, lose the stress and enjoy it!

    Brideys, I know that you picked these particular girls for particular reasons, right? Right. When your big day has come and gone, I'm guessing that you'd still like these girls in your life, correct? Well, then it's up to you to take care of them the way you're expecting them to take care of you.

    Image via StyleSizzle

    Tuesday
    Jun172014

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Five Ways to Avoid Being a Micromanager on Your Wedding Day

    Bridey, I can handle a lot of things, but the one thing I cannot stand is to be micromanaged. Period. So, please don’t micromanage me. And please don’t micromanage your vendors. The funny thing is that I’m not talking about now; the wedding planning process. I’m talking about on your wedding day. Seriously, don’t you have enough on your mind? Like, oh, I don’t know… your wedding vows, your reception and how basically every single person you love will be in the same room at the same time… That’s a big deal, bridey. HUGE actually, and I hate to say it, but that will most likely only happen one other time in your life. Yeah, I’ll let you figure that one out yourself.

    As I was saying, this is our job. We, your vendors, do this most every weekend throughout the year (more or less), and hopefully you will only do this once. And when you take a step back, who has more experience? I’ll give you a hint, it ain’t you babe! So, please, just enjoy your wedding day because not only do you deserve to be utterly happy, but we have worked incredibly hard making it happen for you.

    Look, I know that it’s easier said than done, so I thought I would give you a few pointers on how to prevent your bridey ass from turning into a micromanager on your wedding day:

    1. I know this is simple, but just resist the urge to micromanage. Every time you feel it bubbling up, think about the big picture and all of the professionals you have hired to do their jobs. Bridey, you are not on the clock today. You should literally just sit there looking pretty and enjoying yourself.

    2. Remember how I said that you hired professionals? Well bridey, give yourself a round of applause because there is a reason why you hired WHO you hired, right? So let go of all your Type A mannerisms and allow said professionals to do the job you hired them to do.

    3. On that note, let them (your vendors) do their job their way. Perhaps you’ve dabbled in photography or were an MC in college. That’s great, but please don’t begin suggesting amazing shots that your photographer just “has to take” or making turntable recommendations to your DJ. They’ll figure it out! They always do. Bridey, unless there is something specific that you forgot to communicate to one of your vendors or the venue prior to your wedding, ease off and just relax!

    Click to read more ...

    Tuesday
    Jun102014

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ I'm Not Going to Say, "I TOLD YOU SO!!!!"

    Yeah, I'm feeling kinda ranty today. Honestly, I'm fucking exhausted. I'm so tired of being the shrink, mediator, personal assistant, and hand holder. This wedding season has been awesome and brutal all at the same time! Seriously, I feel completely bipolar because one day, I am absolutely elated; lovin' life and my clients, and the next, I am down in the dumps wishing I had a chosen to do something else with my life. Something that didn't require so much brain power; something where my "product" wasn't dependant on people and their ever-changing ideas and opinions.

    This wedding season, I've had some truly amazing clients who really understand that there is life beyond their wedding day, and then I've also had some clients who are so self absorbed and seem to have some serious issues with sharing. That's an odd thing for me to say, huh? I guess it is... Why don't I explain with a story...

    Recently, I worked with a client who was absolutely OBSESSED with the fact that her gorgeous and extremely popular venue had the nerve to have another event booked in their ballrom prior to her big day. Outrageous, right? I mean, how could they have the audacity to maximize their profit on a busy Saturday in June? Yeah... hoping you're picking up on my sarcasm... Anyway, almost every single conversation we had either started with or ended with a diatribe, asking me if "I could believe that they had another party ending so close to the beginning of her wedding." Perhaps I am somewhat immune to a tight turn (meaning that the venue and vendors have a short period of time to flip an event space from one party to the next), but a two hour window is nothing; easy peasy. In fact, there are plenty of us (vendors, wedding planners, etc.) who have turned a room in an hour! But, no matter how hard I tried to explain this to my client, she would not HEAR me. And goddamn if I wasn't annoyed.

    Click to read more ...

    Tuesday
    Apr082014

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ How to Get Your Mom to Stop Texting on Your Wedding Day! Whaaaa? 

    Every now and then, I get an email from a distraught bride fretting over such a universal topic, that I feel like I would be missing out on an opportunity to educate all of you brideys, so today I am sharing it on Bitchless Bride. Below, you will see an email which I received from "Bridget" regarding her mother's obsession with her iPhone. Bridget is asking for some advice on how to handle her MOB's addiction with said phone, and wants to be sure that mama is present, both physically and mentally, for the big day. 

    I am getting married in about six weeks. While my mother and I don't have the perfect relationship, she has been phenomenal through the planning process. She has kept her personal opinions to herself and aimed to give my fiance and I the wedding we desire. She has been key to planning the event from 1,500 miles away.

    The problem? My mother is addicted to her iPhone. She is constantly texting, emailing, Facebooking and often during very important times. Much of this is because she runs her own business and doesn't have normal hours (I am sure you can relate), but she has yet to set boundaries. For instance, when I come home to visit, she is often on her phone during family dinner and movie night. I am afraid my wedding will be a victim of her addiction too.

    I am very worried that my mom will miss a momentous event in her and my life because she is so concerned with taking pictures she can text or post to Facebook. She has worked very hard and waited a long time (8 years of us dating) for this day and I want her to be fully present. I know I can't tell her what to do, not that would I consider that, but is there a tactful way to let her know I would like her to be engaged in the day and not so concerned with her virtual presence?

    Thanks,

    Bridget

    Dear Bridget,

    My very first thought, is that while it would be inapprorate to tell her what do to, you certainly CAN tell her how you feel. You don't have to be nasty about it, bridey, but you should definitely have a candid conversation about how you are feeling.

    Click to read more ...