The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Please Talk to Your Fiancé... So I Don't Have To!

Bridey, it's really very simple. Talk to your fiancé. Discuss the wedding you want. Discuss the wedding he wants. Discuss the wedding that you both want. Because, I'm hoping to avoid being in the position I was in the other day. Yeah, that fucking awkward, cover your ass position I found myself in during my meeting with your man. Here's how it all went down...

Last week, I was hired by the loveliest bride (and her mother, of course). After some intense conversation about their hopes and dreams for the wedding, we sealed the deal with some champagne and they signed my contract. I must admit, I was really excited about this one. This bride is super down to earth (totally not a bridey bitch at all!), and her mom is just the cutest mom ever; truly and honestly present to support her daughter.

Anyway... We discussed the usual... You know, the color palette for the wedding, a wedding theme, etc. We discussed how important the right venue, great food and great entertainment was to both of them. We talked about how important it was to sit at the table with great people, but not feel trapped there. Blah, blah blah... Basically, all of the shit that I usually talk about with the bride and groom, not the bride and her mother!

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The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Bitchless Gone Bad

Am I getting soft? Am I losing my edge? Seriously, I MUST be, because it's the only reason I can possibly think of for some crazy, bitch bride to write such a scathing email about fucking typos. No really, TYPOS... The ones I occasionally have on BB. I know, right? WHAT the fuck? Totally makes me think that perhaps I've been too nice these days if somebody thinks that it's okay to be such a petty little bitch. Well, my niceness is about to go away... 

Because you haven't seen me be mean yet, brideys. You've seen me be blunt, straightforward and honest, but mean for the sake of being mean? Yeah, that's just not the way I roll. You see, I actually have respect for what you are going through, brideys... I GET what you're going through. If wedding planning were easy, then I wouldn't have a job. And my goal? Well, my goal is to see all of you brideys do it better, do it nicer and do it without being a bitch. That's WHY I started Bitchless Bride. Personally, I like to see BB as proactive constructive criticism. And you know what? I wouldn't dish it if I couldn't take it. And, I can take constructive criticism. I can take tough advice. I can take the truth. But, what I can't take? Is nit picky bullshit.

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The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ When the Event Planner Quits

Sooooo... I almost hesitated writing about this because it's not always a guarantee, but if you've chosen your venue wisely, then frankly, bridey, you need to chill the fuck out. What is "it"? Well, if you're not down with the ins and outs of "the industry", then it can be pretty shocking and upsetting for you, bridey, if the assigned event planner (at the venue where you are getting married) gives notice. Scary, huh? Well, it doesn't have to be...

Some brides have told me that when "their person" leaves, they feel, "completely let down" and now "they can't be sure of anything". I mean, a little bit dramatic, right? RIGHT! Bridey, you KNOW that the decision to leave a job is a very personal one, regardless of the industry and no matter the position. And we all know that staying in a job that you either don't love or have simply outgrown can be toxic... for everybody.

But, in this case, I really need you to step off of your bridal soapbox and recognize that "your" event planner (at the venue) is not deciding to leave YOU, they are deciding to leave the property.

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The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ I'm Not Your Hired Help!

Sooo... I totally changed my plan for today. I was going to talk all about making your wedding planning simpler, blah blah blah... Don't be a bridey bitch, blah blah blah..., but then I received this absolutely, painfully honest vendor vent, and I HAD to change my plan, because there was no way that I was going to let this one get by me without adding my two (or three) cents. Brideys, as wedding season quickly approaches, it's incredibly important for all of you to understand the difference between the event planner who works for the hotel, and the person you HIRE for thousands of dollars to plan your wedding. 

As I've mentioned previously, prior to going out on my own as a wedding planner, I worked at several fancy hotels on the catering/event planning teams. And you know what? It wasn't fucking easy. It was a million and a half hours, physically demanding (thank God I am in such good shape... HA!), and honestly? The pay was shitty. Like, shockingly shitty actually. Like, so shitty that people outside of the industry who knew just how little we were paid were utterly blown away by the tiny compensation. But, I don't want to get off track, so we'll save that for yet another post about TIPPING your poorly paid manager...

Anyway, as bitchy and awful as some clients can be, sometimes our angst has nothing to do with you, bridey.

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The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Wedding Planning Breakdown

I know this may surprise you, but shockingly I don't have all the answers. I can't tell you why sometimes people can be complete assholes, only that it feels fucking fantastic to put them (assholes) in their place. I can't tell you why certain vendors can be just as diva-like as certain brides, only that I've learned to take care of them (or else). But, what I can tell you with absolute certainty is that it is in your best interest to hire a wedding planner. In any capacity...

And yes, we've covered this a million times before. And yes, I sometimes feel like I and say and write this shit and nobody listens, but lately I am starting to think that maybe you really are listening. Because within the pile of emails I receive daily with questions about wedding planning, ceremony ideas, terrible bridesmaids, etc., recently I have been getting quite a few emails about hiring a wedding planner. For instance:

"I have a quick question regarding wedding planners, I know what full coordination service entails; but what does "Wedding Day Coordination" generally include? Also, what does "Consultation only" include? I am considering hiring a planner, but if it is not in my budget, is consulting with a planner then hiring them for the day of a viable option?"

Allow me to break it down for you, but please note that each wedding planner works independently, and what I perceive as wedding day coordination (or month of coordination), another planner may completely differently than me:

Wedding Day Coordination or Month of Coordination:

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