Wanna Rock a Bitchless Bride or Bridesmaid T-Shirt?

Bitchless Social
Advertisers
Bridal Ballet Flats customized wine glasses Shop Wedding Gifts on Zazzle Wedding Paper Divas Wedding Day Needs - Programs, Menus, and more Shop adidas.com Online
Join Our Mailing List
This form does not yet contain any fields.
    Search
    Bitchless Around the Web

    Read our content on other sites we love:


     

     



     

    Bitchless Twitter Feed

    Entries in Wedding Planning (64)

    Tuesday
    May172016

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Bridey, It's Time to STOP Apologizing! Except When You do These 10 Things...

    I've stopped apologizing. Seriously. I'm done apologizing for stupid shit. Sure, if I make a mistake or if I owe somebody an apology, then I will apologize to them, but other than that? I'm all done. I'm done apologizing when it's unnecessary. And you know what, bridey? You should be too. Seriously, ever find yourself in somebody's way at the store and realize that your very first instinct is to say, "I'm sorry"? Have you ever stopped and wondered why? Because, are you really sorry for looking at the same t-shirt or cereal as somebody else at the same time? I'm not. But, we are wired to think that we are inconveniencing somebody somehow simply by standing where we're standing. And lately? If I'm not done looking at the t-shirt in question (or reading the cereal box), then I'm not moving, and I'm not sorry. Good for you BB, but... how is this relevant to wedding planning? Well, bridey, you do it all the time! You apologize unnecessarily, and then you don't apologize when it's necessary!

    Look, I promise to tell you when you need to apologize, but apologizing because you don't understand terms of a vendor contract or because you can't wrap your head around a service you are paying for? That's just silly! It's important for you to understand everything you are paying for and receiving, and frankly it's important for you not to apologize in the process.

    Bridey, I know that I have spent a lot of time busting your chops for your sometimes entitled bullshit behavior, but I've also made it a point to educate you and stand up for you while you plan your wedding. Because I understand that it's difficult to plan a wedding on top of the countless other responsibilities you are busy juggling. I understand that most of you haven't had the pleasure of wedding planning, and therefore you have a lot of questions. It's normal, and it's okay. So, rather than apologizing for it, own it! You're not supposed to have all of the answers. You're not supposed to know what makes "the industry" tick or how attrition works in regards to food and beverage or guest rooms, etc.. So, it's completely acceptable for you to ask questions and get answers. No apology necessary.

    When should you say you're sorry? Here are the top 10 moments when an apology is necessary: 

    1. Apologize when you're being an entitled bitch. We get it, you're getting married! It doesn't give you carte blanche to be mean.
    2. Apologize for getting pissed off because a vendor had the audacity to work on Saturday and couldn't meet you when you wanted them to.
    3. Apologize for not being flexible with your vendors (see #2).
    4. Apologize for being rude to your mom, sig other, MOH, etc. in front of your wedding vendors.
    5. Apologize for monopolizing all of my fucking time going over and over the flowers, décor, linens, etc., etc., etc., once we've already made a decision.
    6. Apologize for not being able to make a decision. Promptly.
    7. Apologize when you miss an appointment because you had to get to the gym. REALLY!?
    8. Apologize for keeping me waiting (see #7).
    9. Apologize when you say you need a "quick minute to chat", and an hour goes by.
    10. Apologize for paying your deposits, final payments, etc. late.

    Bridey, this list could be a hell of a lot longer, but what I'm hoping you'll take away from this article is knowing and understanding when you should apologize, and when you shouldn't. Got it? Good! Stay Bitchless! 

    Image via The Odyssey Online

    Tuesday
    May102016

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ ***FLASHBACK*** Bridey, Five Ways Not to be a Nightmare Disguised as a Daydream

    Yup, I totally just stole a line from Taylor Swift, but why come up with another awesome line when one already exists? Right? Anyway, the point is, right now, so many of you are recently engaged, and while I truly believe that you don't think you're a nightmare, inevitably, the majority of you? Yeah, you're going turn into a fucking nightmare, and totally think you're a dreamboat. The fix? Well, leave that to me. Here are five ways to avoid turning into your very own nightmare disguised as a daydream:

    1. Bridey, remember that just because you are getting married doesn't mean that everyone else is. All of your friends and family? Well, they're probably in different phases of their lives, and therefore it shouldn't be surprising to you that after the allotted "honeymoon" phase of your engagement, you will lose their undivided attention. Because some friends? Well, some are jealous of what you have, some are having babies, some are getting divorced, and some just don't give a shit about your wedding! So, bridey, remember that this is yourphase, and not everyone is in it with you. 

    2. Be a good listener. Those phases I just mentioned? Well, your friends and family will probably want/need some air time once you've finished talking about what's on your mind. Yes, bridey, you're newly engaged and dying to talk and obsess about every painstaking detail of your wedding day, but your friends have shit happening in their lives too. So, listen! And care! Give them the floor once in a while. Breathe. It's not about you all of the time...

    3. Uh-oh... The P word! Um, I'm talking about perspective!! Yup! You're wedding is one day out of your entire life, bridey. One.fucking.day. And there's a ton of shit you'll probably have to overcome with your partner after that one day. Personally? I dealt with nearly losing my hus to pulmonary embolisms (less than a year after we were married). And then there was the whole IVF journey. What a shitshow... (Yeah, you spend all of your 20s trying NOT to get pregnant, and when you're finally ready, you can't! WTF?) And then several ups and downs thereafter... So, while I look back at my wedding day fondly, I usually find myself reflecting on the marriage, and our concrete foundation, not the day.

    4. You don't know shit. You are new to this whole wedding planning bit, so quit pretending like you know everything. Do your research. And, no that doesn't mean "pin" your research, I mean really do your research, bridey. Research your wedding as if you're going to spend the equivalent of a down payment for a home on one day... Oh wait... You are! So, own it bridey! Own the shit out of your wedding! Know what you're getting yourself into. Make a point of understanding what things cost in the industry. Hire professionals to help you do so. Either way, educate yourself, and do it honestly! Act as though there was a price tag on every pin. 

    5. Be fucking nice... to everyone. Because, bridey, in my world? You are a nightmare first, and then, if you're lucky, you become my daydream. And, if you're nice and genuine? Then people (inside of the industry and out) will genuinely want to help you plan your wedding. They will care about the details, they will care how you feel about the linen or food or wedding cake, and most of all, they will care about you! But, if you treat everyone like crap, then you will get crap in return. 

    Got it?

    Image via magic4walls

    Tuesday
    Apr262016

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ A Bride Without a Ring, and a Wedding Without a Date

    Bridey, have you heard the phrase, "No ring, no bring."? Usually this is in reference to whether or not one of your guests can bring a date to your wedding, but today, I am applying a new meaning to the phrase... How about, "No ring, no bring... YOUR ass in for an appointment. Because there is nothing I hate more than a "bride" without a ring. And, you know what? I'm not alone. Because all of us (your wedding vendors), have wasted a ton of time describing and selling our services, showcasing venue space, and bending over backwards for a "bride" without a ring. And guess what happens next? The "bride" doesn't get engaged, or the engagement is much further down the road than she thought, or the sig other wasn't "the one", blah blah blah...

    Look, I know it's exciting just thinking about getting engaged, but it really doesn't count unless one of you has done the asking and one of you has done the accepting. Right? So, making appointments (or... eeeek, just walking into a venue without an appointment) is actually rude. I mean, it's like test driving a car knowing that you have another year on your lease or house hunting without establishing your budget. Honestly? It's a fucking waste of time, and just like you, wedding vendors are busy. So, if you're a future bride-to-be, it's totally cool that you're starting to explore weddingy things, and weddingy blogs, and all things weddingy, etc. because you're exploring on your own time, but when it begins to spill over onto my watch? Well, that's when you've gone too far.

    Look, bridey-to-be, I'm not judging you, I swear! I get that you are excited about the next step in your life, and that you want to be prepared. It's a thrilling phase! And, planning a wedding is a huge undertaking, so why not get a head start? Right? And, depending on where you live, securing a venue and popular vendors can be brutal. But, as much as I am not judging you right now, I will start judging you the second you make start making arrangements for your wedding without a date, as a bride without a ring. For now? Stick to Pinterest!

    The worst part of this equation is that these bride-to-be wannabes are usually quite lovely, and are simply letting their anxiousness about getting engaged get the best of them. I know because I have met with these almost brides, and sadly, when I follow up with them, they're either still in a holding pattern or they've broken up. And as badly as I feel (particularly when it's the latter scenario), I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a little piece of me that would be pissed off upon hearing the news. Totally an involuntarily feeling, but often, the first thought to cross my mind following the conversation. Because, no matter the situation, nobody wants to feel as though their time has been wasted, especially when there are engaged brides out there willing to make a commitment.

    So, wannabe-bridey, thinking that your engagement is around the corner? Congratulations! But, hold the champagne, and the planning, until you've got a ring on it... Got it?

    Image via Genesis Diamonds

    Tuesday
    Apr192016

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ ***FLASHBACK*** Don't be a Bitch on Your Wedding Day! 6 Tips to Get Rid of the Bridey Bitch!

    I've written quite a bit about how to not be a bitch while planning your wedding, but it dawned on me that I haven't really touched on why it's so important not to be a bitch on your wedding day. Bridey, I think it's safe to say that your wedding day is filled with a tangled web of emotions; happiness, elation, excitement, fear, anxiety, etc.... All perfectly normal... And, sometimes when we're filled with that kind of emotion, it's easy to go one of two ways... Euphoria or bridaldemia, and it's up to you to choose the better of the two.

    The reason I'm mentioning this? Well, after an extremely busy weekend filled with two weddings, and everything you can think of in between, I realized that my very lovely brides each took on one of the two aforementioned emotions. And, frankly, I was shocked. Both were super detailed oriented, although easy to work with during the wedding planning (they must be avid readers of BB), and both had relatively supportive families. So, what made one bride go batshit crazy on her wedding day and one continue to be her fabulous self? THAT is a good fucking question!

    And while I don't have the answer, I can tell you who had a better wedding day experience. If you guessed bridey B, then you guessed right. Bridey B was relaxed and happy. She took in each and every moment of the day, totally let go of "wedding planning mode", and slipped into something much more comfortable, her wedding day. While Bridey A was argumentative with anybody who dared crossed her path. Honestly? It was strange; something I didn't see coming based on our planning experience.

    So, bridey, I got to thinking about what can we do to alleviate Bridey A from presenting herself on your wedding day, and here's what I came up with: 

    1. Alcohol. Just kidding!! Well, sort of... I hate to admit that it was the first thing that came to mind! However, if you are careful not to get piss drunk, then there is nothing wrong with a cocktail as you are getting ready to walk down the aisle. Just be sure to nourish yourself with delicious food and plenty of water, and surround yourself with your favorite ladies!

    2. Timing is everything. As a planner, I build a TON of extra time into the getting ready piece of the wedding day. I do this because inevitably there is always something (or someone) who will throw you off track, and there is nothing more stress inducing than being late. So, give yourself a lot of extra time.

    3. Breathe. Seriously. What's done is done, bridey, so freaking out about the details on the day of your wedding will get you nowhere. Simply relax and breathe. Remember, that at the end of the day (quite literally), you will have gotten married to the man (or woman) you are going to spend the rest of your life with, right? How awesome is that? YAHOO! So, don't allow your anxiety and nerves to win. It will show through in your photographs, and for what? Shit that won't matter...

    4. Let it go. Oh dear God. UGH! I just started singing that fucking song... But, perhaps Idina Menzel had a point. Bridey, you've got to let it go, and let yourself off of the hook. The wedding planning was the tough part, but it's over, and you made it! So, enjoy it! Be present because you deserve it! Take in each and every moment, because even though it took you a good year to plan this day, it will be over in a flash!

    5. Liaise. Huh? Pick your most dependable friend or family member, and have her be your liaison. Have her field the inevitable plethora of questions that arise (mostly stupid shit, but enough to cause some stress) on your wedding day. She can tell Aunt Stupid where she's supposed to be and when for photographs, not you. She can give her cell to the limo driver to call when he's ten minutes away... Etc., etc.... You get my point!

    6. Make it happen, bridey. Make yourself chill the fuck out. If you feel like you're spinning out of control, then slow your roll, grab the reins, and get your shit together. We've all had days where we refused to give into our panicked psyche, and pulled ourselves out of a rut. Right? So, do it, or forever hold your peace.

    Got it? Good! Stay Bitchless!!

    Image via Your Wedding Guide

    Tuesday
    Apr122016

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Whose Wedding is it Anyway?

    The other day, I received an email from a really cool, recently engaged bride. And as excited as she is about being engaged, she's totally lost and a bit discombobulated as she begins her wedding planning journey. Her main obstacles? Well, just like most newly engaged brides, she needs to find her bearings; she feels lost as to where to begin with the wedding plans. And, on top of that giant obstacle, she's missing her amazing mom (she passed away sometime ago) who, "... was a great visionary artistically and would have been so helpful and well, it is what it is. Not complaining, just a little anxious I guess." (OMG. Sniff. Sniff.) Finally, my girl is literally all over the map when it comes to a location for her wedding as she finds herself worrying about her guests making the trip. WOW. I can totally see why she's feeling overwhelmed. Did I mention that she wants a fall wedding. OF 2016?!! Oh dear God!

    Okay... So, let's take a deep breath and start at the beginning, shall we? You're engaged! YAY! It's so exciting, and overwhelming at the same time. In-between looking down at your ring every five minutes, and all of the congratulatory FaceBook notifications, it's awesome (but, in the frightening way). Seriously, with every admiration of that FAB engagement ring, inevitably the next question is, "When are you getting married?". Right? RIGHT. And, it feels like it should be so easy to plan a wedding because there is a shitload of advice and "how to's" out there about where to begin, right? Right. So, what's the problem? Well, not all of the advice out there is good advice, and considering that the majority of you are new to to wedding planning, it's tough to decipher what's good, and what's crap.

    It's funny to me, because you know what's missing from all of that "expert" wedding planning advice out there? The one BIG, yet extremely simple question whose answer will act as your wedding planning guide? Hold on... Allow me to step onto my soapbox... Ready? Ahem... "What is important to you (and your sig other), bridey?" PERIOD. Easy, right? I mean, whose wedding is it anyway? It's YOURS! So, own it like you would anything else in your life. Take a step back and ask yourself what's most important. We pretty much ask this question while tackling any other obstacle we take on in our lives, yes? So, start simply. Ask yourself what's most important, and you'd be amazed at how quickly the rest will fall into place. 

    Getting back to my overwhelmed, missing her mom, on the never ending road trip to finding the best wedding venue, bride? Obviously, I asked her what is most important to her (and her sig other), but I also suggested that she let go of the bullshit. Stop trying to please everybody because it never works. She and her man have been to several weddings, across the country (and world for that matter), so to get sidetracked on location because you are being considerate of your guests (is nice, but...) is a roadblock. So, get rid of it. You've traveled the world for your friends and family, and they will either do the same for you, or they won't. Of course, you hope that everybody on your list will attend your wedding (even in Timbuktu), or most everybody, but even if you had it in your backyard, bridey, there are no guarantees, so let yourself off of the hook.

    No matter how long your mom has been gone, planning a wedding without her still hurts. And, while there is nothing I can say to take that pain away, what I can do, is suggest is to subtly include her memory into your planning, and into your wedding day. Bridey, how you choose to do this is personal and will be different for each of you. Just be careful not to get overly indulgent, and remember that your mom would have wanted you to be happy while you plan and also on your wedding day.

    Bottom line? Planning a wedding is exciting and overwhelming. So, when in doubt, just ask yourself, "Whose wedding is it anyway?"

    Image via Little Vegas Wedding