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    Entries in Wedding Planning (48)

    Tuesday
    Apr142015

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Don't be a Bitch on Your Wedding Day! 6 Tips to Get Rid of the Bridey Bitch!

    I've written quite a bit about how to not be a bitch while planning your wedding, but it dawned on me that I haven't really touched on why it's so important not to be a bitch on your wedding day. Bridey, I think it's safe to say that your wedding day is filled with a tangled web of emotions; happiness, elation, excitement, fear, anxiety, etc.... All perfectly normal... And, sometimes when we're filled with that kind of emotion, it's easy to go one of two ways... Euphoria or bridaldemia, and it's up to you to choose the better of the two.

    The reason I'm mentioning this? Well, after an extremely busy weekend filled with two weddings, and everything you can think of in between, I realized that my very lovely brides each took on one of the two aforementioned emotions. And, frankly, I was shocked. Both were super detailed oriented, although easy to work with during the wedding planning (they must be avid readers of BB), and both had relatively supportive families. So, what made one bride go batshit crazy on her wedding day and one continue to be her fabulous self? THAT is a good fucking question!

    And while I don't have the answer, I can tell you who had a better wedding day experience. If you guessed bridey B, then you guessed right. Bridey B was relaxed and happy. She took in each and every moment of the day, totally let go of "wedding planning mode", and slipped into something much more comfortable, her wedding day. While Bridey A was argumentative with anybody who dared crossed her path. Honestly? It was strange; something I didn't see coming based on our planning experience.

    So, bridey, I got to thinking about what can we do to alleviate Bridey A from presenting herself on your wedding day, and here's what I came up with: 

    1. Alcohol. Just kidding!! Well, sort of... I hate to admit that it was the first thing that came to mind! However, if you are careful not to get piss drunk, then there is nothing wrong with a cocktail as you are getting ready to walk down the aisle. Just be sure to nourish yourself with delicious food and plenty of water, and surround yourself with your favorite ladies!

    2. Timing is everything. As a planner, I build a TON of extra time into the getting ready piece of the wedding day. I do this because inevitably there is always something (or someone) who will throw you off track, and there is nothing more stress inducing than being late. So, give yourself a lot of extra time.

    3. Breathe. Seriously. What's done is done, bridey, so freaking out about the details on the day of your wedding will get you nowhere. Simply relax and breathe. Remember, that at the end of the day (quite literally), you will have gotten married to the man (or woman) you are going to spend the rest of your life with, right? How awesome is that? YAHOO! So, don't allow your anxiety and nerves to win. It will show through in your photographs, and for what? Shit that won't matter...

    4. Let it go. Oh dear God. UGH! I just started singing that fucking song...

    Click to read more ...

    Tuesday
    Apr072015

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ FLASHBACK: Am I Supposed to Tip These People???

    ***Brideys, for those of you who have been reading Bitchless Bride since inception, then you should recognize this post. This was one of my very first posts on BB; one that received 19 comments (when I had like no fanbase!). The reason I'm sharing this with you again? Because I'm proud of you, bridey! So many of you have been inquiring about who to tip, so that rather than reinvent the wheel, I thought I would share it again. Right? So, just read it and learn!!! And, don't forget to tip your vendors! (And check out all of the comments!!)***

    November 29, 2011:

    "Am I supposed to tip these people?" I will never understand why this even a question. The question SHOULD be, “Who should I tip, and how much?” not “Am I supposed tip these people?” Think about it… Tipping is a token of appreciation and gratitude for a job well done… Perhaps it isn’t as obvious to those of you not in “the industry”, but to put it into perspective… Would you leave an incredible dinner at your favorite restaurant without tipping? Well, consider this the dinner of your life. So, express your sincere gratitude to those lovely people that had a hand in the most important day of your life with some cash. Put this as a line item in your budget from the get-go. Please note, it’s important for me to state that if you don’t feel as though you received extraordinary service from any of these professionals, then skip it. But for now, allow me to take you back to grade school... Who? What? When? Where? Why?

    Who Should I Tip and Why?

    Tip anybody who had a hand in your wedding. I don't care if the woman who did your duchess ‘do owns her own shop. Do you love your hair? Well then tip her! I own my own shop too, and you know what? After a year of working with you, I shoulda charged more... A tip makes it all feel better.

    Tip the wedding manager in charge of your wedding at that fancy venue of yours. Why? Well, first of all, I can assure you that they don't make nearly as much money as you think they do. And, secondly you probably have no idea how many hoops they had to jump through to get the job done, and done well. Don’t forget the banquet manager.... This person(s) literally made the floor plan come to life for your wedding. And while we are at it… remember the head server (or captain as they are sometimes called), bartenders, servers, etc. Basically, the whole crew. And, don’t forget the chef! Especially if your food rocked! 

    Photographers, florists, DJs oh my!!! Yes, tip them too. All of them… The same rule goes for the photographers as with the hair peeps. Most own their own shop, and all of the verbiage online says to tip their assistant and not the owner. I completely disagree with this thought process. If you have a great photographer, it will show in pictures and can truly change the story of your album. Throw them a few bucks.

    A few more peeps to consider: officiant, limousine driver, and caterer…

    What should I tip?

    Listen, I know that your wedding probably costs a lot more than you anticipated when you initially started planning the details, and I am certainly not about to assume anybody’s finances. So my best advice to you is to use your best judgment. If you’ve chosen wisely, then the wedding professionals you’ve hired aren’t cheap, and the last thing you want to do is throw more $$$$ at them. However, if you feel like they’ve done an exceptional job, then show them. A tip is never expected, just appreciated. If you are uncomfortable giving them cash, go for an AMEX gift card or a gift certificate to a fabulous restaurant. 

    When and where should I give them their tip?

    Most vendors receive their tip at the end of the night. Designate somebody you trust (like one of your parents) to handle this for you. Obviously tip your hair and make-up people before they leave wherever you are getting ready. And finally, I’d tip the chef (or caterer), wedding manager and banquet manager a day or two prior to the wedding. By giving them their tip ahead of time, odds are they will want to “earn” it by providing even more exceptional service.

    There you go my bubbling brides… I hope this helps clear the air. Remember, every professional you’ve hired to be a part of your wedding day is in the service industry. In this country we reward good service, so quit being a cheap bitch and take care of the people that helped you set the tone for the rest of your lives!

    Tuesday
    Mar312015

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Bridey, STOP Feeding into the Hysteria!

    Bridey, I recognize that perhaps I have been a little bit hard on you with my last two THTs, "Don't be Mental..." and "BB's PSA #2... Be Pleasant While You Plan", so this week, I really want to focus on taking care of you. Look, I understand where your craziness comes from; I get how fucking hard it is to plan a wedding, have a full time job and be an attentive friend and fiance, AND keep your shit together. That said, I have the perfect anecdote to make you feel better the world you're currently living in, and at the same time, hopefully it will help you ditch the bullshit that forces you to feed into the hysteria... The hysteria that the wedding industry has successfully instilled in that pretty head of yours.

    So, the other morning, I had a breakfast meeting with a very cool, very busy bride of mine. And when I say busy, I truly mean it. This chick? She's a nurse with crazy hours, in a super emotionally charged environment with draining responsibilities. See what I mean? This bride is actually busy. Her job can sometimes be life and death, so obviously, her wedding planning isn't always top of mind. Anyway, as lovely as our breakfast was, I bluntly asked her, "Lindsey, what's on your mind? Why were you so anxious to meet?" After a deep breath and somewhat of a dramatic pause, she said, "Because, I feel like there is something we should be doing."

    Bridey, Lindsey's wedding isn't until late fall, and her venue is solidified, her vendors hired, the save the dates finalized... So, what the fuck is there to do now? Nothing. Enjoy life. Smell the fucking flowers... But, that's where the hysteria of the wedding industry comes into play... God forbid a bride takes a breather (when there's actually nothing to do). God forbid her every waking second isn't filled with something bridal... Seriously! There is so much bullshit out there dictating how you, bridey, are supposed to feel, and what you should be doing, that when there is actually nothing to be done at a particular point in time, you are made to feel uncomfortable. 

    And unfortunately, it's not just the wedding industry that has gotten to you. It's everybody! It's everybody that the wedding industry has gotten to too... "Well, you should be doing.... Blah blah blah..." or "I can't believe you haven't done... Blah blah blah..." And that shit will make you cray cray! Bridey, filter out the noise and tell them to FUCK OFF! It's okay to feel comfortable with where you left off with your wedding plans.

    Click to read more ...

    Tuesday
    Mar242015

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Bridey, Don't be Mental... 10 Behavioral Characteristics to Avoid While Planning Your Wedding

    The other day, I tweeted that I've been brunching so much that I really think I am subconsciously aspiring to be a "lady who lunches". But, how could I leave all of this? (I say super sarcastically...) Leave all of you? I mean, what would my life be like without you crazy bitch brideys? The truth is, I couldn't leave planning (and know how to function). And, that fact became brutally clear to me during brunch yesterday as I was surrounded by some of my favorite peeps in the whole wide world. Actually, not the whole wide world, but in my world; "the industry". You see, all of us work in hotels or private planning and deal with the craziness of the hospitality culture, the constant need to say "yes", and the brutal hours. But, as we got to talking it became clear to me what I needed to write about today. You! And, your cray cray attitude.

    Bridey, based on the anecdotes and sheer hilarity that took place during brunch, I thought I would give you a few tips on how not to be mental while planning your wedding! So, here it goes...:

    10 Behavioral Characteristics to Avoid While Planning Your Wedding:

    1. Entitlement: Bitch, please... I don't work for you; I am attempting to work with you. I am your vendor. I am the chick busting my ass at a fancy hotel, or country club or I'm a private event planner, photographer, DJ or or or... And all I am trying to do is help you achieve "the dream". So, knock off the bullshit, drop the entitlement, and let me do my job... Without hating you. Trust me, nothing pisses us off more than some bitch who thinks she is better than the rest of the world. You'll get more out of your vendors if you're nice. PERIOD.

    2. Moodiness: Look, we're women... And, I've heard that we tend to get a bit moody when we're stressed. Right? But, as your vendor, I am not your punching bag or your Xanax. And you know what? I can be just as moody as you, bridey, but I have mastered the concept of "faking until I make it". Have you?

    3. Perfectionism: I strive for perfection too (um, I'm what they call super detail oriented), bridey, but I also know when my best is good enough. And, I suggest you start learning how to do the same. It's really amazing, but you can have the "perfect" wedding day, and still have shit go wrong. Seriously, I think every single recently married bride will tell you the same thing. And, I know that with the amount of money you're spending, comes pressure for perfection, but please remember, above everything else, comes the person you are marrying...

    4. Irrationalism: Do I really need to say more? Bridey, when you feel yourself starting to go off of the deep end, go for a walk, workout, get your nails done or whatever... Basically? Take a break and use the time to think things through. I promise, the craziness will pass if you give it chance. But, you gotta give a little.

    5. Procrastination: Procrastination fucks us all up. Your wedding vendors, that is. Bridey, if you procrastinate, then it slows down the entire process for all of your wedding vendors. It's a total domino effect, and it all starts with you. For instance, if you need to make a decision regarding your floral arrangements, do it. Now. If not, you may not get what you want on your wedding day. And, then you put your florist in the position to rush an order or feel as though she is harassing the bride. Not good. (And, not for nothing, but, if you're renting linen, a lot will depend on your arrangements, etc., hence the domino effect...)

    6. Indecisiveness: Indecisiveness can be just as annoying as procrastination. It's like you're procrastinating because you're indecisive, and, that's fucking annoying.

    Click to read more ...

    Tuesday
    Jan202015

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Five Reasons You, Bridey, Can be a Bitch, Just Like My Cat

    As I was laying in bed last night, my cat, Olivia, was all over me. She was headbutting my face, pawing my shoulder when I wasn't responding quickly enough for her advancements and then completely ignoring me when I was ready to give her my full attention. And then it dawned on me... My cat is just like a few of my clients! Holy shit! These brideys represent some of the best and the worst behavior of my feline. While I'm not suggesting that these girls poop in a box, I am suggesting that every interaction they have is on their terms... Meaning that you, bridey, can be a bitch, just like my 'lil furry beast! Seriously, it was a midnight fucking epiphany! For instance:

    1. Cats are selfish. Right? Pretty much every single thing they do is self-serving. Some of my clients? The EXACT same way! They're selfish. Really, it's incredible how self absorbed and rude a bride can be when she feels a tiny bit ignored or if she feels as though her needs are not being met. Perhaps it more of a self preservation mechanism, but whatever it is, it can be painful.

    The fix? Remember that while your needs are important, bridey, the needs of those around you count too. So, just breathe, and know that people care about you and will take care of you. Just like a cat! No need to panic!

    2. Cats need immediate attention... On their terms. I've had a client get angry that I did not return her a call within an hour of receiving a message. Once I explained that I was in a meeting with a client (who was tying the knot in 48 hours), she simmered down, but... REALLY? 

    The fix? Bridey, you are important to me, and I promise to take care of you. Remember this when I don't respond within 60 minutes. 

    3. Cats ignore you. It's funny, I am about to contradict myself based on what I said in #2, but

    Click to read more ...