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    Entries in Wedding Planning (43)

    Tuesday
    Dec162014

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ A Sometimes Sweet, Sometimes Snide Jekyll and Hyde Bride

    So, I'm working with this amazing bride. She's sweet, kind and rocks s sense of humor that gives me belly laughs. On the other hand, I'm working with a bride who sometimes makes my skin crawl with each snarky email, short, terse voicemail and cringeworthy verbal diatribes. The crazy thing? It's the same fucking bride! Same chick. True story. And the worst part? In true Jekyll and Hyde fashion, she lacks consistency on a consistent basis. I never know which girl I'm gonna get. It's a brutal, sometimes abusive relationship and I'm sick of it.

    I don't know how her fiancé deals with this shit. 'Cause I'm about to lose my fucking mind. Seriously, if you're going to be a bitch, then be a bitch. And, if you're going to be awesome and funny, then be awesome and funny. But, this Jekyll and Hyde crap? I hate it, and I'm about to go coo coo on her ass. Because frankly, I got rid of this kind bullshit in my life a long time ago. I don't associate with people like this anymore; I'm too old and don't have the patience. Not too mention it's exhausting.

    Click to read more ...

    Tuesday
    Dec022014

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Wedding Planning... It's Only Temporary, Bridey

    I had brunch with a close friend of mine recently, and this chick? Well, she's pretty fucking KICKASS!! And not because she's the CEO of some company or because she's got her shit together, but because of her perspective, bridey. You know, my favorite word in the whole wide world! PERSPECTIVE!! They say that you never know where your inspiration is going to come from, and let's just say that today's post hit me like a ton of bricks. You see, my kickass friend? Well, she's going through some awful shit these days. I won't get into the gory details, but it seems like all of the craziness is happening to her all at once. You know the saying about how shit happens in 3s? I seriously think this is her fourth or fifth. And instead of wallowing in her sorrow (which I would probably succumb to myself), she just keeps casually uttering, "It's only temporary." Wow. So simple, yet hard to do...

    As a wedding planner, I've watched some pretty cool girls get rocked by their wedding planning simply because planning your wedding and real life are oftentimes a tough mix. But, as I listened to my friend say that, "It's only temporary", it kinda got me thinking about her healthy outlook. Instead of slipping into a dark place and lashing out at her friends and family, everyday she rises above how she feels, and looks forward; something that I think is really hard for all of us to do. How do you fit into this, bridey?

    Well, if you look at planning your wedding as something that is only temporary, adjust your perspective (during the particularly difficult times like dealing with family dynamics and budget constraints) and realize that a year from now, life will most likely be totally different (depending on when you are getting married) then you too should be able to utter the phrase, "It's only temporary." The key? You'll actually have to adjust your thinking and believe in that statement. It won't be easy and it probably won't alleviate the stress and bullshit you are dealing with instantaneously, but it has the power of preventing you from getting in your own way, and rising above...

     

    Click to read more ...

    Tuesday
    Nov182014

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Five Habits of a Successful Bride

    If you do a little browsing, bridey, you'll find that there is a ton of advice out there on pretty much anything you can plug into Google, Pinterest... you name it. Hell, yesterday I poached two perfect eggs in the microwave (in 75 seconds) because I searched "eggs" while procrastinating on Pinterest! And you know what? My eggs? Fucking awesome! Perfectly poached and delicious! But, when I searched "habits of successful brides" via Google? Nada. Zilch. Zero. Now, obviously I found a TON of articles on brides, weddings, bridesmaids, wedding shows, etc., but nothing that really satisfied my itch. So, what's a girl to do? Write it herself! I mean... I am a professional after all! So, bridey, based on my experience as a planner and recalling several of my "got their shit together brides", here's what I came up with... Ready?

    Five Habits of a Successful Bride:

    1. Become a time management guru. Start outlining "due by" dates. Set yourself up for success. Bridey, I hate to say this, but the second that rock landed on your finger, you became the proud owner of another full time job. And when you start a new job, it's important to begin with a bang! Right? So, take it on like one... Get organized and prove your worth! To yourself!!! Get your shit together, and the rest will fall into place!

    2. Set a realistic budget. Seriously, you wouldn't buy a car or a house that you couldn't afford (because the banks wouldn't let you!), and this shouldn't be any different, bridey. Except this time, there isn't a bank standing in the way of your dream, squashing your credit score and preventing you from moving forward. Right? So proceed with caution. How much do you have to spend on your wedding? What's most important to you? Decor? Flowers? Food? Booze? Figure this piece out first and then work backwards. If food is super important to you, then set a lower budget for flowers and decor. Is music important to you? Then allocate a fair amount to the band/DJ. If you are on a tight budget, then I'm sorry to say, but you can't have it all, so plan accordingly.

    3. Get in touch with your internal noise canceller. Remember, while weddings are a happy time in your life, all of the skeletons and bullshit that you thought was behind you, have a tendancy to rear it's ugly head. Honestly, you need to filter that shit, bridey. Filter out the noise. Filter out the negativity. And if necessary, talk to a therapist. Because, based on my experience, family dynamics are probably the biggest stressor for my clients. And you know what's crazy?

    Click to read more ...

    Tuesday
    Nov042014

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ 5 Amped Up Tips on How to Not be a Bridey Bitch...

    Back in March of 2013, I wrote 5 Tips on How to Not be a Bridey Bitch. Damn, was I smart. Seriously, if all of you crazy brides read that post last year, then perhaps we wouldn't have to revisit what it means to be an awesome bride today. Because as I get deeper and deeper into wedding season, it is apparent that some of you need a refresh. And with spring wedding season right around the corner, I feel like it's my duty to educate (more like save you from yourselves) you on how to not be a bridey bitch, get more from your wedding planning, and still have friends after your wedding! So today let's revist these five tips, and perhaps maybe even learn a few more pointers on how to not be a bridey bitch!

    Back to the Basics: Here we go again ~ 5 Amped Up Tips on How to Not be a Bridey Bitch:

    1. Fucking... be nice. You get more sugar with honey (or however the hell that phrase goes!)... Make people WANT to help you. If you're rude, then you don't get any damn sugar. PERIOD.

    I'm STILL preaching this a year and a half later. Actually, this has been my shtick from BB's inception. Bridey, the secret behind successful wedding planning? Attitude! What you put out comes back... tenfold! So, if you're nice, then the wedding world will be nice to you. 

    2. Don't take advantage of the perks of the industry; our industry. What are you talking about BB? Well, a few days ago, I received a short story from a fellow vendor, and part of what she wrote  really resonated with me... She said (referring to a bride), "When you come in for a hair and make-up trial, and then get the stylist to do a complimentary trial on your mom and sister, you just might be taking a tad bit of an advantage. The service is for you, not for your entourage!!" Brideys, this shit happens ALL the time! You must stop assuming that everything is free! If your mom wants her makeup done, well, then she has to pay for it. 

    This one still pisses me off. I swear, the hospitality industry is the only industry where everybody somehow thinks that everything is complimentary simply because you are getting married and are partaking in a particular service. It's not... Fuck you. Pay me.

    3. Please don't assume... What is that stupid saying? Assume: Makes an ASS out of U and ME. Bridey, if you're getting married at a hotel or restaurant, don't assume that just because you stopped by or you were "in the neighborhood" that a) we can drop everything to see you because you have arrived, and b) that we need to sponsor your cocktails and appetizers in our bar. Several people do business with this establishment. If we treated all of them to freebies, most likely we'd be fired. You are no exception.

    I cannot tell you how many times this happened to me at the fancy hotel where I used to plan events. My clients would just drop in, ask for me, and then basically stand there with their hand out.

    Click to read more ...

    Tuesday
    Jul082014

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ All Weddings Are Not Created Equal – Comparison is the Thief of Joy

    Bridey, when it comes to what your vendors are going to provide for you, avoid comparing what you heard your vendors did for your best friend, sort of friend, acquaintance or somebody that you know. Because each circumstance is different... Perhaps the caterer threw in an additional passed hors d’oeuvre during cocktail hour for your friend because they received a shitload of short rib that they needed to unload or else it would go bad. Or maybe the florist your acquaintance used was late paying her rent for the very expensive studio she resides in and lowered her pricing so that she would win the business. Your friend got a free cheese display? Perhaps the catering manager at the venue comped the damn display because your friend is awesome and she simply wanted to throw her a bone. Or, you know what? Maybe, they’re all lying or embellishing the truth. Whaaaa? You don’t think that you girls are competing just a bit? So be happy with what you got because as Theodore Roosevelt said, "Comparison is the Thief of Joy".

    Whatever the case may be, bridey, I just can’t listen to it anymore! Remember when you told your mom that the whole class failed that stupid fucking geometry test and her retort was that, ahem (imagine your best mom voice), “I don’t care about the rest of the class, I care about you.” UGH! But, you totally remember, don’t you? Well, that is essentially what I am saying to you. When you approach your vendors with deals that they may or may not have made with your peers, it does nothing but piss them off in the same way it pissed off your mother. Because each circumstance is different!!! They are focused on what they are providing to you. And all weddings are not created equal! And frankly, all brides are not created equal. And... you guessed it! Not all "deals" are created equal!

    Bridey, if you want a freebie, the worst possible way you can go about asking for it is to say that of your friend, or whomever, got a deal and therefore you want one too. Seriously? That’s just annoying. Be straightforward. Be nice. Show some respect for the vendor with whom you are working, and leave everybody else out of the equation. If something is out of your budget, tell them, and if they are in a position to discount it or offer it to you complimentary, so be it, but let it be their decision. No matter what, if you have been a delight to work with thus far, anything is possible. I told Elizabeth Vargas that when we sat down for a chat. Basically, we (vendors) want to go above and beyond for those clients who treat us with respect. 

    Got it? 

    Good.

    Image via France Dress