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    Entries in Wedding Planning (39)

    Tuesday
    Jul082014

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ All Weddings Are Not Created Equal – Comparison is the Thief of Joy

    Bridey, when it comes to what your vendors are going to provide for you, avoid comparing what you heard your vendors did for your best friend, sort of friend, acquaintance or somebody that you know. Because each circumstance is different... Perhaps the caterer threw in an additional passed hors d’oeuvre during cocktail hour for your friend because they received a shitload of short rib that they needed to unload or else it would go bad. Or maybe the florist your acquaintance used was late paying her rent for the very expensive studio she resides in and lowered her pricing so that she would win the business. Your friend got a free cheese display? Perhaps the catering manager at the venue comped the damn display because your friend is awesome and she simply wanted to throw her a bone. Or, you know what? Maybe, they’re all lying or embellishing the truth. Whaaaa? You don’t think that you girls are competing just a bit? So be happy with what you got because as Theodore Roosevelt said, "Comparison is the Thief of Joy".

    Whatever the case may be, bridey, I just can’t listen to it anymore! Remember when you told your mom that the whole class failed that stupid fucking geometry test and her retort was that, ahem (imagine your best mom voice), “I don’t care about the rest of the class, I care about you.” UGH! But, you totally remember, don’t you? Well, that is essentially what I am saying to you. When you approach your vendors with deals that they may or may not have made with your peers, it does nothing but piss them off in the same way it pissed off your mother. Because each circumstance is different!!! They are focused on what they are providing to you. And all weddings are not created equal! And frankly, all brides are not created equal. And... you guessed it! Not all "deals" are created equal!

    Bridey, if you want a freebie, the worst possible way you can go about asking for it is to say that of your friend, or whomever, got a deal and therefore you want one too. Seriously? That’s just annoying. Be straightforward. Be nice. Show some respect for the vendor with whom you are working, and leave everybody else out of the equation. If something is out of your budget, tell them, and if they are in a position to discount it or offer it to you complimentary, so be it, but let it be their decision. No matter what, if you have been a delight to work with thus far, anything is possible. I told Elizabeth Vargas that when we sat down for a chat. Basically, we (vendors) want to go above and beyond for those clients who treat us with respect. 

    Got it? 

    Good.

    Image via France Dress

    Tuesday
    May272014

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ All I Really Need to About Wedding Planning I Learned in Kindergarten

    I've been doing some thinking and I've come to the conclusion that everything a bride needs to know about wedding planning, she learned in kindergarten. All of these points are so completely basic, yet so completely applicable to wedding planning. Seriously, before you think that I am off my damn rocker, hear me out (or read me out for that matter). I've written a TON about perspective on BB, and it's really amazing how simple it can be. Just read below and you'll see that all you really need need to know about surviving wedding planning, bridey, you learned when you were five years old.

    “These are the things I learned (in Kindergarten):

    1. Share everything. Share the wedding planning responsibilies with your fiancé. Assign him (or her) wedding planning tasks that he will enjoy, and focus on your the tasks that are most important to you.

    2. Play fair. Don't be a bitch. Don't make your bridesmaids wear ugly dresses. Don't be rude to your wedding vendors. Play fair, bridey!

    3. Don't hit people. Bridey, I certainly hope that you won't go around hitting (or punching, biting or scratching) people, but some of your friends and family may feel like they got socked in the gut when your inner 'zilla sneaks out. So, keep that bitch tucked in, and keep your hands to yourself. 

    4. Put things back where you found them. Unless you've found "the dress". Bridey, don't take a chance or second guess yourself because it was the first one you found. If it isn't "the one", then please do put it back where you found it, but please don't take a chance that it'll will get sold out from under you simply because it was the first dress you tried on.

    5. CLEAN UP YOUR OWN MESS. But first, try not to make one. But, if you do, then clean it up, bridey. Did you piss off your bestie because you were talking too much about the wedding? Then buy her a drink, and let her have the floor. Did you snap at your photographer for not emailing you back within five minutes? Then apologize and wait your turn. Trust me, your wedding planning will be that much more seamless if you clean up your own mess.

    6. Don't take things that aren't yours. Bridey, if you didn't pay for it, then you can't have it. You can't have something if it isn't yours. If you want an additional layer of wedding cake, then you're going to have to pay for it. If you want to import particular flowers for your bouquet, then you're going to have to pay for it. You can't take things that aren't yours. You can only "take" them if you buy them. See what I mean? So don't take things that aren't yours.

    7. Say you're SORRY when you HURT somebody. It's almost impossible to go through your wedding planning unscathed or without hurting somebody's feelings. The easiest way to get through it, bridey? Say you're sorry when your hurt somebody. Period. The end. 

    8. Wash your hands before you eat. Wash your hands before the food tasting. Wash your hands before the cake tasting. And make a concentrated effort to wash your hands of the bullshit. Do not allow yourself to get sucked into the webb of insanity during the wedding planning. Wash your hands of it...

    9. Flush. Get rid of it. Start fresh, bridey. Flush your system of any ill feelings. Be it about your future family in law, skeletons of the past, etc. It's best to go into wedding planning with a clean slate. So flush it.

    10. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.

    Click to read more ...

    Tuesday
    May132014

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ What I look for in a Bride... 

    Recently, one of my brides asked, "BB, what do you look for in a bride?" Really, she did. And you know what? I was fucking floored. Because as an event planner, usually I am the one grilled with questions about my role in the wedding planning process, how my fees work, and basically, if I am worth it. So, to have the tables turned caught me a bit off guard. To be safe, I asked her exactly what she meant by "what do I look for in a bride" because, frankly, I didn't want to risk offending her if I put on my Bitchless Bride hat, and actually told her the truth. But when she said, "I want to keep my friends at the end of this thing..." I thought I would go big or go home. So here's what I told her:

    1. Remember to stay true to yourself. Create the wedding that is right for you and your sig other and forget everything else. I say it all of the time, but it's worth repeating. Ignore the noise. Politely nod when you receive unsolicited advice and move on. I mean, if you actually took every piece of advice given to you during your engagement, then your wedding would literally be about everybody else except you (two)!!

    2. Be kind. Be kind to your bridesmaids. Be kind to your family. Be kind to your vendors. Most of all? Be kind to your fiancé. Bridey, I can assure you that you will get so much more joy (and help for that matter) if you're kind those around you. Remember, talk is cheap. Actions speak louder than words. So show the people who are important to you that they are in fact important to you.

    Let your bridesmaids off the hook. Give them a color and let them pick out their own dresses or throw a party for them as opposed to a bachelorette party.

    Click to read more ...

    Tuesday
    Mar252014

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Ten Things I Hate About "I Do"

    "Oh my God, you have the coolest job! I'm sure you could write a book about all of the stuff you see!" *wink* Since all of my non-wedding industry friends always seem to think that my job is nothing but rainbows and unicorns, I thought I would share ten things I hate about "I do". And since I'm not really into sugar coating, a few of these items may hit a nerve, so brideys, I suggest you listen up and learn from this instead of being offended. Because I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God. If used correctly, then what I am about to share with you can quite possibly change the entire course of your wedding, if not your life. Okay... a touch dramatic, but...

    1. Cheap brides. It's one thing if you don't have the money, and need to scale back. I totally get it!! But, cheap for the sake of being cheap is fucking annoying. I want you to remember something, bridey. You get what you pay for, and if you hire the cheapest vendor or nickel and dime the ones you hire to their breaking point, then most likely you will be disappointed with the outcome. If you're cheap with them, then odds are? They're going to be cheap with you.

    2. Two words. Dry weddings. WHAT the fuck? I have planned weddings of all different religions, backgrounds, etc., but imposing your personal tastes and/or beliefs on your guests is rude. At least have a cash bar (cringe) and make your guests pay for their booze. But, not offering it? Inconsiderate.

    3. Which leads me to my next point. Vegan weddings. REALLY? Enough! Be vegan! Be healthy! That's awesome, bridey, but pretty please with sugar on top, don't subject your guests to tofu if they aren't interested. Look, I have a lot of vegan friends, but when we're together they certainly don't impose their "stuff" onto me. So, please, bridey, don't do it at your wedding. If meat makes you ill, I totally get it. Just make it a lovely vegetarian wedding, and skip the vegan.

    4. Get a grip on your expectations. Drop the fairy tale act. You want magic? Then marry the right man. PERIOD.

    Click to read more ...

    Tuesday
    Mar112014

    The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Quit Being an Order Taker! 

    Bridey, you’ve GOT to stop trying to please everybody! If you are an avid Bitchless Bride reader, then I’m hoping you are well on your way to sane, non-bitchy, non-entitled, wedding planning so please take this to heart, bridey. It’s YOUR wedding and the more you try to “look out” for your guests and/or over accommodate their needs, then your wedding becomes less and less about you and your sig other, and more about becoming an order taker. Seriously, you're one step away from asking, "Do you want fries with that?"

    And because being an order taker can be frustrating and exhausting here are five ways to STOP accommodating your guests without being a bitch. I know, how could you??

    1. I know it’s crazy, but it can even start with your wedding date. Right? There will always be somebody (you love) who can’t make it to your wedding because of whatever reason so set the precedence and choose the date that works for you! If you listened to everybody and took into account their schedules and their plans, then you’re left with nothing. Okay, maybe not nothing, but definitely not the most ideal wedding date. Getting married on a Tuesday in the fall doesn’t have the same ring to it as a Saturday in the fall now does it?

    2. Don’t put it out there. Don’t over promise. Don’t offer your guests too many choices. Tell them. This is what you are eating. These are your hotel accommodation options. This is the attire. And you know what? If they don’t like it, too fucking bad. They are adults, and therefore they can stay wherever they want and eat dinner before the wedding if they don’t like beef or fish (or if they are gluten free, celiac, can’t eat nuts, shellfish, dairy, sugar, cilantro, YOU NAME IT). See what I mean? You provided your guests some choices, and then it is up to them. I mean, there have been several occasions in which my hus and I decided to stay outside of the wedding block offered because we made a choice to do so.

    3. Just say “no”. C’mon, you say it to your sig other all the time! But, seriously, get in the habit of just saying “no” to particular guest requests if that’s not what you want. For instance, if a guest calls you and asks to bring her new boyfriend to the wedding…

    Click to read more ...