We all know it’s your day. You’ve done nothing but remind us and we are really excited for you. But don’t fuck it up. Don’t get so wrapped up in your day that you forget to take care of us. We are your guests. And we count too. So if you are planning on a black tie event in a remote location with a long break between the ceremony and cocktail reception, then we don’t want to come.
Consider what the average guest spends on a regular wedding. Plane tickets, hotel accommodations and a gift… This can cost up to $1,000.00 if not more. But, a black tie event in a remote location can really hurt! Still have the plane tickets, hotel accommodations and gift, but now we have to throw in a rental car, valet parking, tuxedo rental and a new dress. Ouch! So when you keep chanting that it’s your day, you need to respect that your day becomes our expense. Don’t get me wrong, we are thrilled to be present as you say your vows and celebrate with you, but we want to feel as though you have considered our needs.
It’s not just the money we spend to participate in your big day. It’s the flow and feel of the wedding. I know that you want to attend your cocktail hour AND take pictures without missing a thing, but to schedule a break after the ceremony and before the cocktail hour leaves us in flux. What are we supposed to do in the interim? Where do we go? What do we eat? What do we drink? NOTHING. That’s what we do. We make small talk with the other guests in the lobby or wherever all well wishing we had a drink in our hand and a hors d’oeuvre in our belly. But nooooo… you had to take pictures for 2 hours, and we are stuck waiting and withering away. Okay, I’m exaggerating, but nobody likes to wait, not even for you.
So be thoughtful. Think about the guest experience. I know that seeing each other before the ceremony is considered a faux pas, but think about it. Take your pictures first so after the ceremony you and your groom can join the party! A lot of my couples are taking this approach so that they can enjoy the whole day, and so can their guests. Trust me, if you’ve made it through the planning without calling off the wedding, seeing each other before you say “I do” won’t be the straw. It’s really simple, treat others the way you’d like to be treated, and stop being a bitch!