Tell them to fuck off. Seriously! I am so tired of hearing about what everybody else wants for your wedding. You should do this, or you should avoid that… Filter out the noise girls! Because, if you listen long enough, it makes you start to question your point of view, your vision. You know, the one you dreamed about for months and months, put down on paper and have begun putting into motion? So, STOP LISTENING! Otherwise, your head gets clouded, your judgment gets impaired and you start to give in all because some chick, who you never liked anyway, went to a wedding that had 18 chocolate fountains and a belly dancer, and “how could you not want a chocolate fountain?” and “you know, a belly dancer would be a nice surprise for your guests.” I know that I am completely contradicting a few of my last posts, but sometimes I feel like it is absolutely necessary to tell them all to shut the fuck up. Actually, I guess I am not contradicting myself because I’m not saying to disregard or disrespect your guest by having your wedding a million miles away or to have a cash bar (God no!)… What I am saying is that sometimes (a lot of the time) you have to tune out the bullshit or else it stops being YOUR wedding.
With practice, patience and that beautiful “fuck you, but no” smile, it can be very easy to tune out friends, co-workers, strangers (yes strangers) and sometimes your fiancé. Keep in mind that it is a different story when we are talking about your parents. Don’t tell them to fuck off… (Did that once as an adult, and let’s just say I would have gladly regressed to age 14 and taken 2 weeks of being grounded over the “how disappointed I am in you” speech that continues to this day.) But all of those other people are fair game. You will find that everybody has an opinion about this topic, and for some reason they think it’s okay to voice said opinion because you have that shiny pea on your finger. “This is what I did for my wedding…” WHO CARES! You didn’t ask. Practice how to politely tell them that you are doing just fine with the details, and then if they continue to “educate” you, then tell them to suck it.
Now, as far as your parents are concerned, set parameters with them early. Like the moment after you say, “yes” early. Find out what is important to them, and let them know what is important to you. Compromising at the beginning of the planning can save you pain and anguish later on. Write it down and have everybody sign it. Then, when when they start changing their minds or conveniently forget the terms you discussed in the beginning, you can produce said agreement and hopefully avoid an argument or worst case, telling them to fuck off.