What a Double Mastectomy Has to do with Wedding Planning

Today was my day to babysit... It was my day to provide support, both physically and emotionally; except this time it wasn't for a needy bridey. It was for my best friend. And seriously, it's been a long time since I  took a trip to the toilet with another chick who wasn't sporting a wedding dress, but... you do what you have to do for the people you love. And today, her husband needed to step out for a bit, so I stepped in to look after my girl. You see, she was released from the hospital yesterday evening after undergoing a prophylactic bilateral mastectomy on Monday. But... that's a whole other story... 

In between pain pills, trips to the bathroom and sips of iced tea we started talking about her wedding (of course we did... it was only TEN years ago!). She was the first of my friends to get married, and with her fantastically organized and well designed wedding, she certainly set the tone for all of the weddings we attended thereafter.

Anyway, we couldn't talk about her wedding without talking about her mom. Her mom completely took over, totally living up to the mother of the bride sterotype that clearly exists for a reason. She immediately bombarded the poor manager at the fancy hotel with questions like, "Are your rolls hard or soft? Oh! And are they served warm or cold?" My very favorite... "Do your servers change their gloves between courses or do they have the same pair throughout the evening?" Oh my GOD! Whaaaa? That poor manager!

After more reminiscing and laughing about her mom's aggressive wedding planning behavior, we paused for a moment before my BFF said, "I really wish she was here to help me get through this shit...." 

Sadly, my friend's mom died of cancer last February... And even though I have witnessed (and casually ducked out of) many uncomfortable moments between mothers and daughters as they plan a wedding together, it's important to remember that there will be times when we need our moms, and they won't be there. And even though my BFF's mom was perhaps a bit difficult, and possibly a bit of a hellion as she bossed around the hotel staff, I know that my friend would give anything to have her here, today, during a totally different life changing moment in her life...

So brideys, as difficult as our moms have the potential to be during wedding planning, please embrace each moment (the good the bad and the ugly)... because they don't last forever. And when you really need them the most, they might not be there...